dharmatastic

Givology Benefit and Life Updates

2011-03-19T14:28:00.001-04:00

For friends I abandoned for weeks, emails I did not return, phone calls I did not make, I apologize. I am aware of my tendencies towards one-pointedness (sometimes to the detriment of many other *important* parts of life). The object of my attention in this case, for much of February and the first half of March was the Givology $10,000 for 10 Schools Benefit Auction. As the newly elected Givology NYC President, this was the first significant project to pull off, and without any standard planning lead time to speak of.

Without diving back into the weeds of the fits and starts and challenging moments and sleepless nights, suffice to say this was a huge learning experience, and the largest (one-time) event planning that I've helped direct (though one month of 100 people in Taiwan was also a stress, of a different kind). Luckily, the results made all of the sweat and effort more than worth it-- the event raised over $10,000 and there were 300-350+ guests in attendance. In addition to these great numbers, we built invaluable new channels of awareness and support for Givology and our partners.

In addition to Givology happenings, it has been a huge month for me personally, and I am only now beginning to process the inevitable changes soon to come. I have decisions to make about grad school-- Harvard, Stanford, or Columbia, exciting projects to work on with inspiring people at StartingBloc NYC Institute in May, and perhaps a trip or two abroad back to Asia before the fall at a TBD grad school studying International Education Policy/Development.

Below is my post on the event on Givology's website. While I came up with ten reasons to join Givology (NYC), I still return to one primary sentiment about the support at the event, and everything else happening in my life- total and complete gratitude.

Givology post

On Friday, March 11th at about 5:59pm, remaining bid sheets were printed, powerpoint slides were tweaked, and speeches were finalized. By 6:01pm, we began to welcome a stream, and then a flood of press and guests into the $10,000 for 10 Schools Givology Benefit Auction at Hudson Bar in Manhattan. By the peak of the event, the entire venue was packed with people bidding, drinking, mingling, laughing, and learning about Givology and our partners. After weeks of work, it was a beautiful, even miraculous sight for us to see.

The event was a total whirlwind-- I underestimated the number of friends’ faces I would see and overestimated my ability to be in 10 places at once. While I hoped time would slow down even just a little bit so that I could really savor those three hours, luckily with amazing photographers and videographers present, much of it was captured (and more to be available on the interwebs soon!).

The Givology New York City Chapter had worked for weeks to plan the 10K for 10 Schools event, and it was easily the most logistically demanding and complex event that we have hosted to date. A 50+ item silent auction, live auction, two rounds of raffles, ten featured partners, a press gathering, guest of honor, hundreds of lively guests, and a venue with very strict labor union laws created a situation that required serious planning and project management. This was compounded because of the size of our core team-- 12 dedicated volunteers, including 10 full-time working young professionals and 2 students. This truly speaks to the dedication of our team, and ability to rise to the occasion. Looking back even now, it’s so amazing that in just a few weeks with a dozen volunteers, we were able to host the benefit auction, raise over $10,000 and garner the support of 300-350+ guests.

We are SO grateful and appreciative of the generosity of the 10K for 10 Schools sponsors and attendees. In the weeks leading up to the event, I made dozens of cold calls to businesses throughout New York soliciting auction item contributions. I was often so pleasantly surprised at how open and willing business owners were to extend their support to Givology, even if they were not familiar with us. It provided an excellent way to hone my pitch, and begin to build a strong network of new supporters and businesses aware of Givology's work and mission.

I joined Givology just under six months ago and have found in it, and the planning and execution of this event in particular, the wonderful sensation of being part of something much larger than myself, and creating a wave of impact that I can’t even begin to measure. Especially in New York, you live among millions of people, yet it is easy to lose one’s way. Joining the Givology NYC team, members are empowered to give, learn, have fun, and regain confidence that purposeful and dedicated volunteering can harness crowdsourced potential to create global impact.

We hope to continue to grow the NYC Chapter, and create a model for other Givology chapters to follow suit. In keeping with the 10 theme, here are just a few reasons you should apply to join the Givology NYC Chpater, and Givology global if you are not based in New York.

1. Create Impact Support 35+ global grassroots education partners, transforming the potential of thousands of children and villages
2. Join a Community Givology is a growing and diverse family, all committed to positively transforming the world through education
3. Have Fun Our philosophy is that philanthropy should be social
4. Engage in Local Activity with Global Reach Experience New York in an impactful way that transcends all global boundaries
5. Take Ownership of Projects Givology is flat, enabling anyone to initiate and execute their own ideas
7. Use your Skills for Good If you are more than your day job, Givology is the perfect way to give back and contribute to social good
8. Gain New Skills Want to learn about something by actually doing? Members’ roles and responsibilities are based on background, interests and team needs-- help with fundraising, PR, marketing, social media, sponsorships, recruitment efforts, and much more
9. Expand your Network Givology members work across all sectors and study all disciplines, members meet and build relationships with people of different backgrounds, ideas and diverse talents
10. We are 100% volunteer, 100% passion, email the NYC chapter recruitment coordinator danielle.wu@givology.org to get involved!

Looking Back (to 2003) and Moving Forward

2010-12-27T11:40:00.000-05:00

While digging through my hard drive archives for stories for grad school applications, I discovered the final paper I wrote in Nicaragua in Fall 2003, during my gap year before college.

It's my account about living in the northern Nicaraguan city of Estelí, teaching in a pre-school/Kindergarten and in a prison. Also, it was my first extensive time abroad in a developing country. Seven years on, after reading this, I guess it's no shocker I'm hoping to enter the realm of international education. For stories of (18-year-old) me as as the queen of the prison volleyball team, godmother to prisoners' unborn children, and dreaming of kidnapping my pre-school students, read on :). This reminds me, I've really got to start speaking Spanish more again.

Y Así Es La Vida: From Los Pollitos to Los Presos

Nicaragua is not a neat, packaged deal. It’s not organized or easily understandable. But I wouldn’t give one day back of the time I spent there. The only way to approach it is to expect the unexpected, go with an open mind and let go of all reservations and prejudgments. It is a land of glaring contradictions- helplessness and hope, passion for protests and pleas for peace, faithfulness to God and faithlessness to spouses, and corruption with money and candor with words. I spent two months living and working in the city of Estelí in the northern mountains of Nicaragua. It is difficult to capture the essence of Estelí in words, the rhythm of the people. For me it is more like a long series of images- the central streets lined with vendors all selling the same exact merchandise, bikes carrying whole families, taxis honking, packs of stray dogs, children with no shoes and empty stomachs waiting for a kind stranger to give them just enough money to buy their next meal, 6-year-old shoe shiners looking for business, and families sitting and talking in their doorways watching Estelí go by. Further from the center of town the images of poverty grow even stronger- the tiled floors turning to concrete and earth, houses giving way to smaller shacks made of wood, metal, and plastic to keep out the rain, the streets carved out in earth and rocks, mothers and children carrying huge pails on their heads, or selling fruit and vegetables door to door. Through daily life in Estelí and working in two internships I came away with many friendships and invaluable lessons about education, justice, and faith.

I at first tried to dedicate myself to three organizations, in reality this was not the best idea as I was working seven days a week and not able to spend enough time in each. I cut Proyecto Miriam out of my schedule- a women’s organization that functions primarily on weekends. I realized that my ability to participate was limited and I could help, learn, and participate more with my other internships.

I never had any intentions of working in a pre-school, but from the first day of my second week in Nicaragua when I entered the community pre-school of Los Pollitos, I knew it could be no other way. The building of the pre-school was built by a group of Germans and until last year, an international organization provided funding to allow a wonderful all- day program where the kids were provided with breakfast and lunch. However, the funds were cut off and so it now runs like many Nicaraguan community pre-schools: from 8-11 and with virtually no funding from the government. The teachers receive a small stipend depending on how long they’ve worked as a teacher; the maximum is 200 Cordobas a month, roughly 13 U.S. dollars. The families of the children who attend must pay 10 Cordobas a month, or 60 cents, in order to pay for the electricity and water bills. Since the loss of funding, they can now only hope and have patience that more help will eventually come, even if it is just to maintain the minimal supplies the school requires.

Los Pollitos is made up of three amazing women, each in charge of one age level of the 52 kids that are enrolled. My only real frustration I had was the rate of attendance of both teachers and students. For the smallest reason one or two of the teachers wouldn’t make it to work, so we were often left very shorthanded. At least I did feel my help was definitely needed. Some kids only came once or twice in the whole time I was there as well. This was either because their parents worked and couldn’t or didn’t want to make the effort to bring them, they couldn’t afford the 10 Cordobas a month, or it was one of the many teacher strikes in the other schools so since their siblings weren’t going to school they didn’t either. Overall, my time at the pre-school was wonderful. I built great friendships with both teachers and kids and helped in all daily activities from singing, drawing, writing their first letters of the alphabet, playing, and giving hugs and kisses to those in need of extra TLC. The kids treated me just as another teacher, and my favorite part arriving in the morning was being attacked by all these little kids screaming ‘‘Profesora Julia! Profesora Julia!’’ and then dragging all of their little bodies clung to mine inside. There is nothing like the innocence of children and how much unconditional love they give.

I also developed good friendships with the teachers. I visited their houses, talked to them about just about everything, and got to know their families. Their hearts were so big and even though they had nearly no possessions, they wanted to give so much. The only other difficulty I had was dealing with the phrase ‘‘regálame.’’ While I heard this is everywhere, it was especially strong in the pre-school and even with the teachers. I did end up giving away a lot of my stuff, but in the end, their need for money and certain things will never disappear. I realized the most I could do was give them as much of my affection as I could, the things I gave them will end up breaking or be unusable in the end, but I hope that our friendships will last much longer. They were so warm, welcoming, and happy to have me I never had a bad day in the pre-school and felt like I left with many more friends.

The difficulties Nicaragua faces involving poverty did rear their ugly heads nearly every morning in the pre-school. All of the kids come from very poor families on ‘the other side of the Estelí river.’ The fierce injustices of poverty brought children everyday that had not eaten since the morning before, malnourished, not bathed, wearing the same clothes day after day, and stomachaches from parasites. So many kids there will never experience the joys of childhood, the careless and worry free lifestyle that are a part of your first years of life. These kids will always worry about when their next meal will be, how they can also help keep reales in the house and food on the table, and what tomorrow and next year will bring.

Since I only had contact with the kids in the confines of the pre-school, I tried to do the most I could by bringing either a little bag of fruit from my breakfast or bought bread or bananas on my way there. Some of the kids also started to confide in me about their situations at home. A large percentage only have single Moms and have terrible memories or none at all of their fathers. Some even told me about the various types of verbal and physical abuse or lack of attention and love they receive at home. For example, I got to know two sisters- Bellen and Diana, ages 3 and 5. They would sit on my lap and tell me how their father had come home drunk again like always and got into a fight with and hit their Mom, how they hadn’t eaten since breakfast the day before and they were always hungry. Diana told me how she felt alone, unloved, and that she didn’t have a family and would show me her new wounds from where her Dad had hit her with a belt. I felt helpless, I wanted to get those girls out of that situation so badly, nobody, and especially little kids of those ages deserve to face those types of situations. Even when I asked about what type of intervention there was with the Ministry of Families, the situation seemed more helpless. As usual, the government provides only a temporary fix and offers no real solutions for the kids. There was no real explanation the teachers could give me, they would just say, ‘‘Y así es aquí en Nicaragua.’’ On the last day of classes for the year and also my last day, Diana made me cry. She begged me to take her and Bellen back to my home and away from her parents. For now, I can only hope there is a guardian angel watching over them and the rest of my pollitos.

My other main internship was with ANPDH (Assocasion Nicaraguense Pro-Derechos Humanos), an NGO focused on the legal side of human rights, with a concentration on penal justice. The organization consists of four human rights lawyers who work without receiving a salary, and after losing funding after September 11^th, now rely wholly on the support of the Catholic Church. Their main purpose is to ensure that established human rights laws are not being violated and to receive denunciations and counsel the victims properly and make them aware of their rights and the laws so that they receive justice. Although I at first spent nearly every morning in the office, I lessened my time commitment to two full mornings and three mornings for about an hour (after my pre-school finished class). On a whole, I had the most difficulties with communication during the first week and from then on was able to understand and communicate in Spanish with most people. My boss Roberto was the one exception. He talked 100 kilometers a minute and would sometimes cover his mouth with his hand to make it even more of a challenge. This caused some amount of misunderstandings and miscommunication in my time there. The organization accomplishes quite a lot and helps a considerable number of people fight to correct the injustices committed against them. Yet my role in this was rather limited and my designated tasks never materialized, perhaps because of my part-time commitment or their loss of funds. Either way, I was often frustrated with my lack of productivity in the office. However I wasn’t doing too much less than some of the lawyers on a daily basis. My actual duties consisted of helping the group solve the daily crossword puzzle (I once even got the last tricky one, even though it was a cognate in English), reading every section of La Prensa (the Nicaraguan newspaper), talking with my co-workers, playing with the two little girls who lived in the building, and talking to families and victims who were waiting in the office. My supervisor and the boss, Roberto Petray handles between 85-90% of the cases, so the other three also passed much of their time like I did, bored. I think they also lacked some confidence in me because I was the youngest intern they had ever had, 18, so it was difficult to make them take me seriously some of the time. When they were able to obtain the use of one of the cars of the Bishop, my schedule would vary. Weeks before, Roberto had told me how we’d be taking a trip up north, but as I was leaving one day he told me they’d be picking me up at my house at 5 the next morning. We spent the whole day bumping up and down on the road (although it doesn’t deserve to be called that) to San Juan de Rio Coco and Qualili. On the ride there, I talked to the woman whose case we were going to deal with. After having beaten her, her boyfriend had kidnapped their kids and refused to let her see them. She had gone to the police, but as she was illiterate, poor, and without a lawyer, they did nothing. Five minutes after arriving from our four-hour trip the police had agreed to go arrest the father and bring the children to the mother. Unfortunately, the law is only executed when there is actually pressure on them. Y así es. Since I didn’t spend too much time in the office, it wasn’t until the end that I felt like I had finally formed good friendships with them, which made it harder to leave because it felt like we had just gotten a good thing going.

Although some of my criticisms of derechos humanos are severe, it is not to say that working there was a waste of time. I was able to talk to people with serious injustices against them, many of them involving crimes of the police. For example, one young guy came into the office after being shot in the side by the police. He even showed me his new scars from his surgery and the plastic bag he had taped to his stomach with the contents of what they had taken out of the side of his abdomen.

I also had the opportunity to visit various levels of the system, including the courthouse. I watched my first murder trial in full and was horrified by the injustice of the outcome. Two men were tried for the same crime of slitting a man’s throat, both were on the scene but only one in reality could have committed the crime. Both were found guilty and sent to jail. The system here seems to work that the accused is guilty until proven otherwise or until the judge is given enough money. Everything I saw and heard about the injustices and corruption of the system shocked me, it is so completely in your face and so obvious that it goes on every day, and yet people are so used to it, un-shocked, and take it all in stride as a part of their reality and daily life. One day I came home for lunch to find on the local Estelí channel a student protest only about 2 km. from my house that quickly turned violent. I watched in horror as the police fired guns and threw grenades of tear gas at students who started throwing rocks back at them. One grenade, probably originally aimed for an escaping protester, had landed on the grounds of Los Pepitos, a school for disabled children. I was in disbelief watching police ‘maintaining order’ by creating violence. Marlene, my home stay Mom could only responded to my shock by saying ‘‘Así es la vida aquí.’’

The dynamics and perceptions of the organization were confusing and slightly contradictory. In my time working there, I came to realize how human rights organizations fit into Nicaraguan society. I had always perceived the basic philosophy of human rights as to right the wrongs of the world and bring justice to those don’t have it. But like everything in Nicaragua, nothing seems to be impartial or for pure good or evil. Many people, including my home stay family, had distrust in human rights. This was primarily due to its strong relation with the Catholic Church and its political leanings. Although my co-workers tried to profess they had none, it quickly became clear they had very strong beliefs. Estelí remains of the strongest Sandinista towns in the country, and so it was especially interesting working with a very strongly minded anti-Sandinista organization that in actuality is principally interested in fighting the corrupt Sandinista sectors of the system. A very unfortunate reality in nearly every establishment, governmental and non, is the presence of corruption. Since the Catholic Church does not have the best record, I couldn’t help but question ANPDH´s nearly 100% reliance on the Church as this would mean they would need to directly respond to the Church and Bishop of Estelí and as a means of survival. The building of the office, also serving as my boss’s home was a gift from the Bishop of Estelí, and for all work related travel they only used the luxurious new vehicles of the Bishop the driver to go along. Nevertheless, I have also seen the good of the church and ANPDH especially in the jail, but this is a conflict of interest I am still trying to grapple with, and definitely not the only one.

My most unique work experience in Nicaragua was my time spent teaching English in the jail in Estelí to prisoners and learning so much more from them. Through ANPDH, which has many clients and some of my own students as clients, I taught five afternoons a week for two or three hours. Before coming, I had never intended to teach English and certainly not in jail- but it turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my time in Nicaragua. The jail, amusingly named La Puerta de Esperanza, is home to 660 prisoners, 27 of which are women. They represent all varieties of crimes committed, ages from minors to seniors, and are another example of the government’s lack of support. The prisoners wear their own street clothes, receive minimal food, living space, and rely on outside support for many things needed to survive including medicines. However, they do relish a large degree of freedom within the jail on the condition of good behavior. There are a number of work opportunities in carpentry, metal, and artisan workshops, and the prisoners can also complete their education from elementary school to high school within the jail and some even receive scholarships to study in a University outside of the jail. Most see their families two or three times a month, can have conjugal visits, and there are a number of sports teams from soccer and volleyball to handball and boxing. Both the Catholic and Evangelical Churches have a strong presence in the jail. Church groups often came to bring food and have donated many facilities to the jail. I found that many prisoners often attach themselves to religion and God as a method of surviving the isolation of jail, many prisoners I talked to have become 100% more religious in their time in the jail and their hope rests in God. In this way, the Church does do a good service because many of them are barely surviving on a grain of hope for the future after being abandoned by their families and friends when they went to jail.

I will admit my nerves were on end on the first day, not because I was scared of being there, but because although I was supposedly just visiting and they put me in a classroom, students filed in, and I taught English for the next 2 hours. Otherwise, I passed my time there getting to know my students, their lives and situations, and doing my best to teach English without guidance from anyone and very limited resources. My biggest challenges were creating a permanent teaching plan or schedule and working with nothing. For the first month, many of my students had sports practices or familiar visits and would be coming and going during the class, so the class size fluctuated between 2 and 12 men. I was also given no direction, no knowledge of their English skills, and no books or other resources to use to teach.

I can honestly say I never felt intimidated or in danger by being there even though security is very minimal. Some days I let myself in because the guards were off socializing, I never saw guards for the at least two hours while I taught, and they were actually more disrespectful than my students. The few times they did pass my classroom outside, some guards would stand and give me air kisses or whisper the usual machista comments as I passed by. But unfortunately as they are the ones with the power, they have the means to abuse it. The one time I did feel more powerful was when new ping-pong tables arrived as a donation from a U.S. religious organization, and I was able to finally beat them at something. We had a mini ping-pong tournament for a couple days before class started, and my students were pretty impressed with my ping-pong skills, but I was eventually taken down by a funcionario with a mean slice serve.

My students were very friendly, so grateful to me, attentive, respectful, and eager to learn it was really a pleasure for me to be with them every day. I got to know quite a few of them very well, and I learned about the ins and outs of the jail from them. They have their own inner-prison culture with phrases only used in the jail, sign language, sayings, jokes, pastimes, and the currency of the cigarette. They were open to letting me into their world, and overtime as I gained their trust and had chances to talk to them individually; we developed friendships and really good interactions in and outside of the classroom. By the end of time there, two of my students had asked me to the godmother for one of their children, one already three years old but won’t be baptized until his Dad gets out of jail, and the other to be born in May, 2004. I was so ecstatic that they wanted to give me that privilege and as a proof of our camaraderie, and certainly gives me more reason to come back in the future.

In the end of October, I went to the largest jail in Nicaragua in Tipitpa, a town outside of Managua. It was the biggest annual gathering of prisoners to compete in their own jail's sports teams of basketball, volleyball, handball, chess, ping-pong, and boxing. What could only be described as a block party with music, there were about 1,000 prisoners wandering around watching and participating in games, and a much smaller number of civilians and guards. Some of my students on the Estelí volleyball team had asked me to be the madrina/reina of their team, so although all the Estelí teams more or less bit the dust I rooted them all on proudly wearing my Madrina del Equipo del Voleibol de Estelí banda.

While I did not ignore the fact that many of them had committed serious crimes of kidnapping, armed robbery, rape, and murder, I still saw them as people with needs, wants, and even with their acute errors, capable of having good hearts in the end. As teaching goes in both directions, my students taught me a number of invaluable lessons as well, perhaps the most important being to never underestimate a person or to judge them solely on their faults. I got to know them as people, and as Nicaragua has taught me, even the bad have some good and even the good have some bad.

I initiated individual recorded interviews with my students and other prisoners I met. The lives and experiences of the prisoners I interviewed became an invaluable part of understanding more about Nicaragua and especially the system of injustice that exists. I heard first-hand accounts of stark injustices- rights violated, money buying freedom from the law, guilty going free and the innocent in jail for years, and the complete corruption of the system on every level. It helped me meet and get to know many interesting people with really remarkable pasts. Many of whom were heavily involved in the war Nicaragua endured in the 1980s. Some prisoners I met are paying time for a crime they didn’t commit or more time than the law sets because of their ideology or bad relations with a public official, and others are paying a very small debt to society for the crimes the committed, as the maximum penal sentence in Nicaragua is thirty years. Many of them have noble aspirations for the future and I thoroughly admired their strong hope even through their current situations.

They accepted me wholeheartedly and we often spent a good part of the class laughing and joking around. We celebrated Halloween together by playing musical chairs, pin the tail on the donkey, listening to music, and eating food and candy I had brought. In one letter from one of my students he wrote- ‘‘Cuando yo este libre siempre celebraré Halloween como una fecha especial para recordarte que estuvisteis con nosotros.’’ For the Despedida party we danced to Reggae music, played Chubby Bunny (game where you stuff marshmallows in your mouth, really hilarious), ate cake and other food, and they each stood up individually to thank me and give me letters or little presents. I was so appreciative they were so sincere about everything, that while I’m sure I taught them some English, I was happier to leave and be remembered for being me and being their friends. The time I spent in the jail was a learning experience about the so-called justice system in Nicaragua, peoples’ capacities, extremes, mentalities, and hope. I came to understand the harsh truth there is in the saying that poverty is the biggest crime. Nonetheless, I left each day with a smile on my face and hope that just maybe with a lot of work people and society can change for the better.

My home stay family was also an integral part of my experience in Estelí. Marlene is a single Mom with three kids- José Miguel age 5, Grisell age 7, and Ana Elisa age 12. Her husband is living illegally in California and occasionally sends them money but it seemed their relationship was on the rocks. I felt slightly odd and even kind of embarrassed living with a family that was really in the middle-upper class, and so unlike the people I was working with on a daily basis. Although I did spend a lot of time out of the house, I spent a fair amount of time with the kids playing UNO, playing school, and watching José Miguel dance. He would get up on a table in the living room only wearing a sheet around his waist and move his little body like I’ve never seen. His little laugh was just contagious. Other times though, there was unfortunately a lot of negative energy in the house. Marlene could usually find just about anything to yell at the kids for, from Grisell getting an 89 on her math test and only being second in her class to Ana Elisa walking around without her chinelas. The kids were difficult when Marlene wasn’t home though and didn’t respect me, so I had to try to protect the house and them from complete destruction. The tone of the atmosphere fully depended on the mood of Marlene, which was usually only up when we had company or the kids were out of the house. However I did have fun with the kids and joked that they were my little diablitos. I also had really good long conversations with Marlene sometimes lasting hours when the kids weren’t there about Sandinistas, poverty, and life in Nicaragua.

My time in Estelí was focused on my internships, but through living and being absorbed by the city, I got a good feel for Nicaraguan culture. Passion and vivacity is always in the air. No matter what Nicas do, they never go in halfheartedly. They are proud of who they are, and are always open to share their ideas and perspectives. So nearly every day, I was able to have so many amazing and really interesting conversations with people because they’re so open to talking about everything. I often got into political arguments with people as well, and sometimes while playing Devil’s advocate I was accused of being a socialist, imperialist, and atheist. Everybody has really interesting stories because Nicaragua has such a rich history and recent conflicts that many adults clearly remember and were involved in. Since I talked to all sorts of people with Sandinista, Contra, and other ideologies and backgrounds, I heard about 1,000 variations on the history of Nicaragua in the past century. This was beyond confusing. People told me told me there was no food or freedom during the Sandinistas, others said life hasn’t been as good since the Sandinistas left power; I heard so many contradictory histories that my mind became so jumbled. I ultimately decided I would probably never know exactly what happened in Nicaragua, the truth, the real history because history is merely based on whose mouth it is coming out of. It will never be impartial.

The greatest difficulty I faced with the culture was the machismo and the fact that I’m a white female. Maybe I felt it more strongly because I spent about 2 hours a day at least walking on the streets to and from my jobs, where the machistas mostly strike. The constant whistles, the comments, and the occasional touching eventually REALLY got to me, but there was nothing I could do. It was almost just as unfortunate that it was just absolutely impossible to have men as friends, even when they started off just ‘wanting to be friends,’ they always ended up wanting much more than that. My prisoners tried to explain to me that I should take it as a compliment, and tried to justify infidelity that Nicaraguan men fall in love with nearly all women like love at first sight, and isn’t it better to give love to more than just one person? I personally thought their definition of love was completely skewed. It’s a cultural barrier that I will never be able to cross. And as much as I longed to hit all men on the streets upside the head with my Nalgene full of water, I remembered the penal code for visual facial wounds and restrained myself. Not only on the streets did I feel the machismo, but I had so much sympathy for all of the women of Nicaragua for having to put up with these men as fathers who desert their families, husbands who commonly commit adultery, and people who lack common respect for anything and anyone. After talking to women who have stayed with their husbands through their other sexual escapades, mistreatment, or temporary desertion I recognized yet another sad reality of poverty. These women would rather face the mistreatment than face life without a roof or a little bit of an economic supplement.

While I don’t think there is one fix-it solution to solve all of the troubles Nicaragua faces, the largest step the country could make forward would be to improve the education system. It needs to be free and compulsory as the Constitution of Nicaragua dictates. However, the hardest thing to change will be the mentalities and priorities of the people. Right now, education is not a priority. So many people just fail out without caring and realizing they are throwing their most valuable opportunity out the door and are cutting themselves short in life. Not only is education the door to freedom, but a way out of poverty, a way to gain independence, and the most important: the way to learn how to use your own mind and think for yourself. My prisoners even half joked that I knew Spanish better than them because they had never really been taught correct grammar or spelling. Knowledge of other types is also equally as important: for example, knowledge of your rights. Many prisoners I talked to weren’t exactly sure what their rights are, and if they don’t know, it makes it even easier for the authorities to abuse their power. During my time in Nicaragua I realized the extreme importance of education especially for developing countries, and I also have become so much more grateful for all of the education opportunities I have received.

Education is one of the many things that Nicaragua takes a laissez-faire approach on. Many students drop out young, and the requirements for many jobs except professional ones require little or no education. For example, to be a police officer, you need no education, and so many are completely illiterate. This lack of education translates directly into lack of respect, creating even more problems in the country. If someone did not receive a basic education, they lack the understanding of the importance of self-respect and respect for others. If people don’t respect one another, they won’t respect the law, creating corruption and further poverty. Many of the crises Nicaragua faces flow in a cycle and build on each other to create further problems and an over elaborate web of causes and effects to bring it to where it is today and placed as the poorest country in Central America.

Nicaragua presented me with a number of challenges, rewarding experiences and unforgettable memories. Estelí is a virtually perfect location with endless opportunities to absorb oneself into Nicaraguan culture, meet many interesting people, and make a difference by directly helping numerous amounts of people. I took advantage of all of these opportunities through my time with Los Pollitos, ANPDH, and La Puerta de Esperanza.

One of the lessons I learned is the supreme importance of education as a door to free thinking, respect, and possibly even out of poverty. If the education system in Nicaragua is not changed and people remain with very limited knowledge of the world around them and their own rights, the other troubles of the country have no hope of disappearing. I also began to understand all of the injustices in Nicaragua. The corruption of the justice system, the abuse of power, violation of rights, the injustices of machismo creating single mothers, and the overall injustices of poverty. Nicaragua taught me most of all to have faith. Not necessarily in a God, but in people, and for the future. No matter what difficulties Nicaraguans face, they continue on, head into the wind without guidance, but having continuous hope and faith that tomorrow will be better than today.

Cycles and Causality

2010-08-27T18:29:00.000-04:00

I had mentioned in a previous post that this trip to Asia was seemingly the completion of a cycle I had begun five years ago. In the summer of 2005 I made my first trip to East Asia, and participated in the Woodenfish program. In the interim years I studied Chinese, Buddhism, returned to Asia and lived in China. Now in 2010, I returned to Taiwan and the Woodenfish program, for which I was doing program coordination (for a nice summary of Woodenfish from a participant's perspective see Justin's blog post, sorry I'm lazy on summaries). At the start of the summer, I left wondering what this path has meant for my personal development and will continue to mean in the future, how do I continually find myself on a plane bound for Asia? I'll begin with an anecdote of a smaller concentric circle formed during this trip, and then my conclusions about the larger 5-year cycle, and some realizations during the program and meditation retreat.

Smaller concentric circle completion: In my summary post of the travel to Asia in June, I mentioned a kind flight attendant who was determined to compensate me for my willingness to change seats for others, and consequently shift from an aisle seat to a middle seat for the nine-hour flight. She was extremely congenial and impressed we could converse in Chinese easily, but honestly I didn’t think much of it. While I refused her offer of ice cream multiple times on the flight, as I was deplaning, she handed me a gift bag.

Fast-forward two months to the first leg of my return flight, from Taipei to Anchorage. Six hours into the flight, exhausted and in a sleepy zombie state in the darkened cabin, a flight attendant began to pass through the aisle with a tray of water and cups. Without looking up at her, I reached out for a cup. She looked down at me and said with excitement, “shi ni ma/is it you?” I blearily looked up at the voice. Our paths cross again. It was the same flight attendant from two months ago. She knelt down to get a better look at me, almost as stunned as I was. She recalled every single detail of my flight, “you are almost sitting in the same exact seat!” she exclaimed, “do you want ice cream?!” My mind was reeling. After all that has been happening recently, in some totally bizarre way, this was only the most logical way I could return to the US. I responded, “you remember me?!” She said, “Of course I do! In 20 years, you were the nicest passenger I’ve ever met.” That really had to be an exaggeration, or is just a serious tragedy (but maybe a reality? re: Jet Blue guy). She left to return the water tray, and returned with a chocolate Haagen-Dazs ice cream for me. I told her about my travels to mainland China and my stay at Fo Guang Shan in Taiwan, she enthusiastically listened while other slightly confused passengers looked on. She couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could I. Finally, she said, “you’ve changed since I last saw you, two months ago your energy and spirit was much lower, it seems you’re now much happier and more spirited now.” What a perceptive China Airlines flight attendant.

Despite my now chronic sleep deprivation and accumulated exhaustion, if I could peel off those layers, what I would likely find is a happier, slightly less-selfish, slightly more well-intentioned self. It's amazing what a few weeks of intensive, constant service to others will do for you. Although we can never act selflessly, the repetitive thoughts and actions I carried out for the benefit of others and myself in the nurturing and rather conducive environment that is a Buddhist monastery was likely the most ego-less state I've been able to reach so far. And it felt great. But I guess that's my ego talking :). I was active in body and mind this past month pushing past previous limitations, and found that as Aristotle said, "happiness is activity." Doing, cultivating, contributing, serving, all a happy me.

As for the larger circle/cycle: It's formation is still slightly wobbly and undefined. However, the nature of my questions have changed based on something important I realized and took to heart throughout the program, and especially during more intensive meditation in the retreat. This new way of seeing and analyzing situations is in fact not new at all. It actually predates anything remotely Buddhist, the law of causality, 因缘, cause and effect.

It's almost so elementary that it shouldn't need explanation, obviously cause and effect explains how things happen! However much I've studied karma and causality, one of the fundamental Buddhist teachings, it's easy to intellectually comprehend something without really, deeply seeing life as a function of it. It's not that I was enlightened (still far from it), but rather that I really, really thought about causality and how and why things happen, and suddenly the hows and whys in life began to make a lot more sense, including habit formation (good and bad), relationship habits, and life tendencies (me and Asia and Buddhism, the US and aggressive foreign policy, New York politicians and prostitutes, it works with everything!) to name a few.

Why did I come back to Asia? Cause and effect. Through various activities and investments of time, energy, and thought, Buddhists and Asia became a part of who is the current me. Nothing more, nothing less. Through over-psychoanalysis or questioning the cosmos for deeper meaning, one will only find more mystery. There is a Buddhist saying, that if you wants to know your past lives, look at your present condition. And if you want to know your future, look at your present condition. To my logical mind, this makes total sense. Even better, causality holds infinite explanatory power about the past and present, and provides some rough ideas about the future. What do you want the future to look like? Do something now to create those conditions that will make it possible. Matters that were before of great importance to me now (what is the best/right career for me) seem like I was just thinking about things the wrong way and asking the wrong questions. It's hard to explain, but my mind has shifted a bit, and I'm seeing the world, and my place in it differently, more fluidly, and at ease. And I think it's for the better.

And then of course, all of these cycles will just keep churning in the greater cycle of samsara, that thing we call life and death. I have no clue what's in store for me, but I know if I keep doing what I enjoy, following the causes and conditions, contentment will follow, and for now, I'll take solace in that.

感谢因缘，因缘能成就一切
随顺因缘，因缘能引导自然.

Be grateful to causes and conditions that help you achieve everything.
Follow causes and conditions that lead to natural results.

Parables in Ch’an, and the experience of Western intellectuals in a contemporary Taiwanese Buddhist monastery

2010-08-23T16:56:00.002-04:00

The ultimate teachings of Ch’an or Zen practice are conceived of as beyond words and the grasp of language. As such, it is often through parables and analogies that one can begin to infer the ultimate teachings imparted through Zen teaching and practice. One popular analogy to understand the relationship between Ch’an and language is that of the finger pointing at the moon. Just as the finger provides direction towards the moon, the finger is not itself the moon. Similarly, the written, conventional teachings of Ch’an do not in themselves contain the ultimate teachings. Teachings of Ch’an can only provide the path, while it is the practitioner who must travel the path and realize wisdom (prajna) themselves.

For me, one attraction to Ch’an practice is the emphasis on self-cultivation-- that through meditation and mindfulness practice, a natural attainment of higher mental states and awareness occurs. Another draw is that Ch’an masters are an eccentric bunch, and within the confines of language, they try to teach their disciples through humor, and even mockery. So I just want to share a few examples of some quintessential Ch’an stories recounted during the program that were also relevant to us as western-educated folks in a Buddhist monastic setting. These probably aren’t completely accurate, but you can get the gist.

Story #1: A scholar was meditating across a river from a Ch’an master. The scholar felt inspired to write a poem to demonstrate his mastery of meditation to his master. In the last two lines of the poem he wrote, “Eight winds from all directions blow, I sit on a golden lotus unmoved.” He sent the poem via courier to the master across the river. Upon his return, the scholar asked the courier what his response was, the courier handed the scholar what the master had written, one word, “FART.” The scholar was so infuriated and insulted by this response that he jumped into the boat and rowed across the river to see the master himself. The Ch’an master was waiting on the shore, expecting the scholar. The Ch’an master said to the scholar, you are hardly unmoved if even a fart will blow you across the river.:)

The story demonstrates how quickly and easily the ego is provoked, either inflated by praise or insulted and defensive by criticism. It is only the truly practiced one who will be unmoved by both.

Story #2: A scholar and a Ch’an master were sitting in meditation. Curious about how the master would respond, the scholar posed a question to him, “what do I look like when I am sitting in meditation?” The Ch’an master gave it some thought, and responded, “A Buddha.” The scholar was smugly satisfied and continued on his meditation. Shortly after, the Ch’an master asked the scholar what he looked like. Thinking he had to come up with something witty in response to prove his attainment, he said to the master, “you look like a pile of horse shit.” The Ch’an master did not respond. The scholar, thinking he had finally outsmarted the master excitedly returned home that evening and told the story to a girl. The girl, more perceptive than the scholar, told him after his account, “You fool! How you perceive others is a reflection of your own mind. What the master told you about how you appear, that is only a reflection of his own mind. And what you said of him, that is a reflection of your own mind.”

Both of these stories poke fun at the scholar, who is likely intellectually well developed, but is consequently full of hubris and a ‘know-it-all’ attitude. This situation, meeting of scholar and Ch’an master, is also especially relevant to the Woodenfish program, wherein critical, intelligent Western students meet and study with actual practitioners or masters. For many students, including myself, a Buddhist monastery like Fo Guang Shan is a place where, in order to cultivate anything new and meaningful within, our ingrained cynicism needs to die, or at least go into hibernation. Another parable often thrown around during Woodenfish is the story of ‘emptying your cup.’

A scholar went to visit a Ch’an master. As the master was speaking, the scholar interjected with his own opinions. The master began to serve more tea, and poured so much additional tea into the scholar's cup that it spilled out over the cup onto the table. The confused scholar tried to stop him, "What are you doing? The cup is full, there is no room for more tea!" The master responded, "Like this cup, you come with such a full mind of its own opinions, there is no room for anything new. In order to taste my tea, you must first empty your cup."

I can be a pretty cynical person, and dropping that veil through which we evaluate the world, and actually emptying your cup can be a constantly trying task. Cultural and intellectual superiority complexes prove to be more of a hindrance than a tool of objectivity. Trying to outsmart the master is usually just asking for a total fail, and it's only when we can drop the cynicism and cultural baggage, and open our eyes/ears/mind that a worthwhile and meaningful experience can occur. When many western students first arrive and see the large edifices of Fo Guang Shan and its seeming extravagances or oddities, ie the Pure Land cave, it can be difficult to know what to make of the scene. The cynic will first naturally question the monetary channels of development, and the intentions out of which such a massive establishment was created, and how it is sustained. At the most critical level, the cynic will refuse to consider that anything valuable or legitimate could come from something they first view as superficially contradictory to what they’ve studied and come to know as "Buddhism." The western critic/cynic may posit, this is not any kind of Buddhism I have ever studied, and since I have studied everything, this is not Buddhism. Except it is. The only one on the losing end of this sort of analysis is the visitor/intellectual critic, and that is truly a shame.

At the other extreme, total abandon of rational thinking and lack of careful analysis is an equally reckless position. Therefore a middle way of sorts should be sought. An approach that strikes a balance of constructive and contextualized analysis is important, and also very challenging. Cultural and temporal contextualization (for Woodenfish, that means Taiwan, 2010, Humanistic Buddhism) must situate observations, as well a generally open, respectful, and humble self. In terms of lived Buddhist experience, searching for origins or seals of authenticity, or trying to find the "real" Buddhism, is completely missing the point. For Buddhists, the concept of expedient means explains these very different paths to enlightenment. We all are moving in the same direction, but based on our past and current situation, will respond better to different teachings and different practices. It is not the inherent quality of a teaching or scripture that will aid in one's spiritual advancement, but rather the intention and diligence of the seeker in properly utilizing and interacting with the teachings. Rather than looking outward to criticize what others do, it's always most important to look inward at one's own actions, and one's own mind.

First Update, Mainland China

2010-07-19T16:41:00.000-04:00

I was unable to go online for awhile and then was frantically busy, so I will work my way through updates of this summer. First for a brief rundown on my last weeks throughout mainland China. Surprisingly, my best internet connections throughout the three week mainland program were at the Buddhist temples we stayed at, while I was completely unable to get online during the last week in a so-called five star Chinese hotel at Wutai Shan. However, it was a great excuse to cut the technology chain, and just be active and enjoy a new part of China. The 'Buddhism in China' program was divided into two segments. For the first segment of the three-week trip, our group visited Buddhist temples throughout Jiangsu province, more or less west of Shanghai. We traveled through Suzhou, Wuxi, Yixing, Yangzhou, and Nanjing, and stayed in hotels and temple complexes. During the second segment of the program, we stayed at Wutai Shan, a sacred Buddhist mountain area in Shanxi province to the west of Beijing. In Wutai Shan, we merged with a group of scholars from Chinese Academy of Social Science (CASS) and entrepreneurs interested in studying Buddhism. While we were going to have some courses, much of the time was instead spent exploring the numerous temples covering Wutai Shan.

Venerable Yifa and I both reading Obama books, on the train Beijing to Taiyuan,Shanxi Buddhism in China, July 2010

Throughout the various places we traveled, I continued to experience much of what I had throughout my Fulbright research-- rampant temple construction/reconstruction. I was told that approximately 6,000 Buddhist temples are under construction or in the works throughout China, and I believe it. It often felt that we were following not in the footsteps of Buddhists, but migrant construction workers, or maybe both. We visited some rather famous and well-known monastery complexes where many of the great Chinese Buddhist masters and scholars and translators had practiced and taught. In some cases, the temples were only partially destroyed, rather than completely under reconstruction. Usually the icons or structures in harder-to-reach places were spared the axe. Or in a creative example, a large pagoda within one Buddhist complex we visited was not destroyed because someone had placed a Red Book (Chairman Mao's quotations) at its peak.

From Buddhism in China, July 2010

As China now tries to somewhat redress the near total cultural losses inflicted during the Cultural Revolution, revival of Buddhist heritage is a central component. Therefore, temple construction is to some extent a necessary investment if one is to continue to propagate Buddhism. However, many of the temples under construction or recently constructed don't exactly seem built to last. Rather the goal is to build them as fast and cheaply as possible, and let later generations worry about the consequences. Sound familiar re: environmental degradation? In addition to shoddy construction, the relationship between a) construction of physical temples and b) actual re-integration of Buddhism into Chinese culture is a weak correlation at best. Yet with a little reflection and strategic planning, it should be obvious that long-term investments come not from grand architectural blue prints, but from investment in human capital, ie education.

In Yangzhou, we had the good fortune to meet Venerable Master Hsing Yun, the 80+-year-old founder of the Taiwanese Fo Guang Shan order. Born in mainland China, he left for Taiwan while he was still young, soon after the Nanjing massacre. Already ordained as a monk in mainland China, he continued to practice in Taiwan and eventually established himself as a prominent teacher, establishing Fo Guang Shan (Buddha's Light Mountain) in 1967. It is only in recent years that he has been able to return to his place of birth and begin to spread Buddhism there as well, although with definite restrictions. He has had a huge impact on the development of Taiwanese Buddhism, especially his form of Humanistic Buddhism which has modernized Buddhist teachings to meet the demands and complications of modern, lay society and with emphases on education and service.

Yungang Grottoes, From Buddhism in China, July 2010

Meeting Master Hsing Yun in mainland China was a unique experience and one that never would have been possible even 10 years ago. Recent developments and allowances continue to show that China's opening may be slow, but it is certainly moving in the right direction. Fo Guang Shan is now in the process of constructing a primary base in mainland China in Yixing, where Master Hsing Yun was first ordained as a monk, called Da Jue Si. While the money will come from Fo Guang Shan, the land ownership must still be leased, and the abbot of the temple must be from mainland China as well. Below is video footage from his lecture to our program participants in Yixing, including some interesting commentary on the development of Buddhism in mainland China and his thoughts on the United States.

Master Hsing Yun in Yangzhou from Julia Gooding on Vimeo.

Main shrine at 高旻寺 in Yangzhou

2010-07-08T05:43:00.001-04:00

Eating the Seasons

2010-07-08T05:18:00.001-04:00

Before I left for Asia, I was in the throes of a super-foodie phase. Living in New York City, a global capital for finance, art, culture, and food, I had opportunities to dabble in work for a financial-services based company, visit art and cultural centers such as the Rubin (which was less than a block from the apartment), and most relevantly to this discussion, eat my way around the city, and simultaneously, around the world. In the past few months, I drooled over food/photo blogs, walked through the Union Square farmer’s market and specialty markets throughout the city, and in the kitchen, experimented with new dishes and treats for friends. The New York culinary and foodie scene has reached a state of constant hyper-development, mediocre kitchens are killed off by sub-par reviews and high rent, making way for new ideas and new chefs.

So I admit upfront, I’ve been swept away in the food tide. I at times felt like a pilgrim making voyages to other parts of the city to taste highly acclaimed dishes, like to Chinatown for legit liang pi, Upper West Side for cookies and babka, and the East Village for ramen or arepas. Believe me, they really are that good. In addition to ventures outside, I hosted meals at home. I had different groups of friends over for brunch, lunch, or dinner, picnicked in Madison Sq. park, and finally had a rooftop get together the weekend before my departure. This is all to say that food has been on the brain, and still is even though I’m not in New York for now.

In my past few weeks back in China, I’ve aggressively worked my way through different food groups I had missed since I left last year. Unfortunately in the US, Chinese food is abominable- westernized, greasy and rather homogeneous. The Hubei, Schzeuan, beef and broccolis, and buffets shame the richly diverse and tasty cuisine of China. Since my return, I’ve been feasting on dumplings, noodle soups, Xinjiang’s delicious Uigher food (always loaded with cumin and spices), North Korean, Sichuan provincial standards, hot pot, dim sum, jian bing and other street foods, and ‘home-style’ dishes like yu xiang qiezi, the favorite Chinese eggplant.

Uigher government restaurant in Beijing, chuar stand in 三里屯

One of the most noticeable differences to me recently has been how seasonally in tune cuisine is in China, whereas in the US, most people realize it’s BBQ season, but it doesn’t often get more nuanced than that.

Eating with the Seasons
In American supermarkets, it’s difficult for the uneducated eye to determine what produce is in season. Just looking at the aisles in any large supermarket is bound to induce vertigo. The options are international and seemingly infinite, kiwis are flown in from Chile, cherries from Australia in December. Unless you consciously make an effort to exclusively shop local, we all consume produce cultivated in areas we will never visit during seasons we are not experiencing. When one’s local grocery store becomes a microcosm of globalized production and trade, seasons are more or less irrelevant.

However in China the situation is still a little different. While large grocery stores and imported foods and produce are becoming more ubiquitous, by and large, most people still purchase produce from wet markets or straight off the street. The natural cycles of cultivation and harvest and cooking seem to make more sense that way. When a fruit or vegetable ripens, it’s harvested, and shortly there after, sold. When I was just in Beijing, I knew cherries were season because they were plump, cheap, delicious, and carts of cherries were on virtually every corner. Down south where I am now, one of my favorite berries is in season, in Chinese, 杨梅 yang mei, the red bayberry, but I'm not sure you can even buy it in the US. I also realized that some variety of pumpkin is also very much in season as we’ve had pumpkin soup, rice and pumpkin mashup, and other varieties on the same theme. Watermelon is also plentiful, and last night five of us bought a melon after dinner at a fruit shop, had it sliced on the spot, and were even given stools to sit out front and enjoy it on the spot.

In early June in the States, my favorite ingredients in season were asparagus and rhubarb. I made asparagus quiche and asparagus and goat cheese wrapped in prosciutto and then a strawberry-rhubarb crumble and a homemade strawberry rhubarb pie. While I wish that I could enjoy rhubarb all year round, I find it more off putting that we’ve become so disconnected from harvesting seasons to make no distinction between the wildly different cultivation of even summer and winter. Food becomes all that much more precious if we enjoy it seasonally, with the knowledge that it’s for a limited time only each year.

For the rest of the summer, I’ve traded in breads for bao zi, froyo for bean mountains, and my favorite berries of the straw-, blue-, and rasp- variety for yang mei, lychee, mango, watermelon, and more.

breakfast of bao zi and yang mei

Zong zi 粽子, an extremely popular seasonal food (glutinous rice with filling typically cooked in bamboo leaves, cousin to a tamale) made only around the time of the Dragon Boat festival were my 4^th of July burger. In the temple, veggie burger.

I’m more than okay with this trade off. At least as long as someone saves me a few slices of blueberry pie and a barbecue or two are still left in the summer by the time I get back.

"Bean mountain" shaved ice with fruit, peanut, or red bean

We all received cucumbers at a temple's vegetable garden we visited in Yangzhou

Venerable Chuan Jie with her cucumber :)

More later on fake meats and waste.

Acupuncture in Beijing

2010-07-07T00:37:00.000-04:00

Soho much real estate

2010-06-29T07:18:00.009-04:00

SOHO
When I recently flipped through the real estate classified section for apartments in Beijing, I was amused to find that outrageously expensive complexes were touted as ‘Park Avenue’ and the ‘Upper East Side.’ However, using New York as the gold standard is no new gimmick. In fact, China’s most wildly successful real estate company is named Soho. The SOHO venture’s riches have landed the husband/wife co-founder duo near the top of Chinese billionaire lists, with wife Zhang Xin worth $2 billion.

In addition to the increasingly sleek and modern building designs, perhaps a large part of the company’s success is due to repetitive name-recognition marketing. Rather than uniquely naming each property, both commercial and private residences are bequeathed the Soho name. In Beijing, SOHO’s dominance is manifested in at least 13 different large-scale complexes, intended to function as autonomous urban universes.

There is SOHO New Town, Jianwai SOHO, SOHO Shangdu, Chaowai SOHO, Guanghualu SOHO, Guanghualu SOHO II, Beijing SOHO Residences, ZhongGuanCun SOHO, Sanlitun SOHO, Qianmen Avenue, Chaoyangmen SOHO I, Chaoyangmen SOHO II, and Galaxy SOHO (formerly, Chaoyangmen SOHO III).

The latest edition to Beijing’s skyline will be Galaxy SOHO, which promises to be even more ambitious and futuristic than the rest. I have passed the construction site multiple times in the past week, and the billboards plastered around the perimeter of the construction site of cranes, dust, temporary housing for migrant workers, and trucks overwhelm the imagination. From the architectural renderings, it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine a stream of flying cars entering and exiting the complex.

Advertising of luxury buildings in China is unusually direct by American standards. It intends to appeal to those newly rich Chinese who don’t want to just buy an apartment, but hope to buy into a new lifestyle. Advertising here usually gravitates towards the hyperbolic and superlative, and perhaps most importantly, towards a bright, rich future. Images and slogans conjure images of the most utopian of lifestyles with words used such as ‘best, richest, elitest, scarcest.’

In Beijing, the future still promises an even better life than today’s, and the advertising reflects that. Whether this focus on the future is a profiteering mechanism, a governmental initiative, a utopian ideal in itself, or an actually ingrained worldview in the Chinese psyche, talk of the future in China is positive and hopeful. In the US by contrast, talk of the future inspires fear, or maybe that’s just me?

Hutongs
But back to real estate. Real estate development has been a hot topic in China for awhile, because A) it’s everywhere and B) there are significant cultural, historic, and economic issues embedded in it. In the years leading up to Beijing’s 2008 Olympics, the process of construction of new buildings and the destruction and “cleanup” of the old, focused a domestic and international lens on the controversies and inherent difficulties of balancing modernization and preservation in a city that has been inhabited for over three thousand years. The hutong and siheyuan are the primary building blocks of historic central Beijing, and they are disappearing at an astounding rate. Fifty years ago there were 3,200 hutongs, there are now under 1,000. Many articles and books have been written, at least one Fulbright project completed (that I know of) and organizations founded that have been inspired to save what is left of historic Beijing's fading architecture. Unfortunately, there is not much to favor a positive outcome for any significant historical preservation. Many of these buildings are in a decrepit state lacking basic modern necessities such as running water or a sewage system, their sprawling nature hampers vertical urban growth, and both private investors and government knuckle have already overpowered unorganized groups of residents on countless occasions. As the turf of old Beijing recedes, new, towering, hyper-modern galaxies (ie like Galaxy SOHO) materialize in their midst. It's truly a bizarre phenomenon to witness.

Housing Bubble

Another reason real estate development regularly makes the front page is that fears of a serious housing bubble may become a reality. In recent years housing prices in tier one cities such as Beijing and Shanghai have nearly doubled, and developers continue to build even while realizing that the supply of buyers cannot keep up, at least for now. Zhang Xin, the CEO and co-founder of SOHO said during a recent Forbes interview, "My role as a producer is to produce. I happen to know that they don't need it so much. But it still doesn't stop me from producing so long as they are queuing up outside and want the product." Hmm, sounds familiar. While other developers and government officials are more confident the scale will balance out, in the short-term the government has recently taken precautionary measures to curb speculative buying, by increasing the down payment required on apartments over 90 sq. meters.

Housing Quality

Yet the product that the developers produce, though typically made quickly, is not always built to last. Thanks to endless waves of eager migrant workers and around-the-clock shifts, what would take years or even decades to construct in the United States, is completed here in a matter of months. Shoddy construction is the norm. Paint chips, metals rust, and walls collapse. One recent example. I was dining in Dadong restaurant last week, a more upscale Peking duck restaurant, when four large slabs of ceramic wall tiles crashed to the ground in the adjoining room. Thankfully no one was hurt, but that's not so atypical in China. Nothing is nailed into the ground... too well at least.

For real estate in China, developers maintain a build it and they will come attitude, but at what price will this be? For now, there will soon be a new galaxy in Beijing, unsurprisingly called SOHO.

Puppy faces

2010-06-25T22:49:00.000-04:00

From Beijing, June 2010

Animal Stack at Dongjiao

2010-06-25T22:44:00.000-04:00

The Bridge

2010-06-23T22:55:00.001-04:00

I was recently telling friends about a podcast I listened to in May that stuck with me, and it's worth re-sharing.

One segment of a This American Life podcast aired on May 7th called "The Bridge" highlights a Chinese man from Nanjing who has, since 2003, spent each weekend on a bridge saving potential suicide jumpers. The man, Mr. Chen, read about the high numbers of jumpers from the particular bridge in a newspaper article, and decided to act.

In January 2010, Mr. Chen tallied up his efforts. By that time he had saved 174 people from committing suicide since he began volunteering his time in 2003. He’d spent 646 days on the bridge and counseled over 2,000 people. Just crazy. In addition to the publicity about him in This American Life, an article was also published about him in a recent GQ. However, fame seems to be about the last thing Chen seeks. In the audio interview, he nearly disparaged his own actions, writing off his goodwill as just a part of his systematic routine. While odd, it was also refreshing.

If you read Chinese, his blog is an account of his time on the bridge.

There are also some translations of posts available online as well. Here is one sampling:

2010-03-21: Yesterday I again saved someone

Yesterday at 3:05 p.m. I saved a young man in the middle of the bridge. I discovered he had drunk a lot of alcohol and was planning to jump over the bridge railing. I at once restrained him and dragged him to safety. As we spoke, I learned his situation was actually quite funny. He was thinking of jumping because last year, his wife promised to start returning to him 200 yuan of his monthly 1400 yuan salary to spend as he pleased. But she had not honored her promise. Yesterday afternoon, he started drinking with his friends, and the more he drank the angrier he got. He believed that killing himself would make her realize that not one cent had come to him.

After speaking with him for two hours, I was still concerned about what would happen to him if this continued.

He then said another funny thing: His mother's colleagues said that the bridge is haunted and could take one's soul.

I said: Haha, it is haunted by drunk ghosts. He said he lived in Yongfeng [County], and I took him home.

This was the calmest, simplest rescue I have made in recent years.

Seriously a bodhisattva, that guy has generated some incredible karma!

Sometimes it would be nice if the news covered more stories like this, because I want to believe that they exist, and it's a welcome reprieve from oil spill fears and the like.

Indirect to Beijing

2010-06-23T22:06:00.002-04:00

June 16th- New York

7am Wake up revved to go, but wishing I could teleport to Beijing
9am Breakfast at a restaurant in Chelsea, gorge on lemon ricotta pancakes
11am Appointment uptown
12pm In-office
2pm Buy travel/medical insurance, call banks to ensure cards not frozen abroad
3pm Phone interview
5pm Cross off final prep list items, phone calls to family and friends
7pm Final packing, organizing, editing to avoid unnecessaries added in last hour.
8:15pm Beer and appetizers on the roofdeck, enjoy the New York skyline
9:05pm Goodbyes, 2 months is not so long, but I’ll still miss everyone!
9:15pm Board E train at 16th St.

10:15pm In-line at ticket counter, my bag weighs in at 10kg, a personal best. Of the 10kg, 2/3 will make the RT. For 2 months, that's TraveLITE :)

10:55pm Drain glass of chardonnay at airport wine bar, please make me sleepy

11:40pm Board flight, switch seats twice to accommodate other travelers, but end up in a better seat with more leg room :)

June 17th, New York- Anchorage- Taipei- Beijing

12:15am Start conversation with 10-year-old chubby Vietnamese boy on his way back home. I tell him I visited Vietnam, so his interest his piqued. He goes into consultation huddles with his older brother and Dad to formulate questions for me. I also ask him questions. Do you like sports? No. Do you like School? Yes. What do you like to study? Uhh, I am no/know.

12:35am Takeoff from JFK

1am Pass out. Alcohol+ fatigue + key ingredient- March of the Penguins soundtrack. It still remains my go-to for a maximum strength, natural sleep inducer.

3:15am Elbowings from Vietnamese kid, no rem sleep tonight

3:30am I give up on sleep, and podcast hours begin. Splendid Table, This American Life, The Moth, TedTalks, I've been saving up for weeks in anticipation so I can feast for hours on these flights.

5am Wandering thoughts, iPod shuffle and patchy sleep continues

7:30am (330am local) Arrive in Anchorage, Alaska. Days from the Summer Solstice, at 330am, pines and snowy mountains are visible. One last time to use AT&T. De-plane, walk around. Eye the impressive quantities of packaged smoked salmon, and take in the Bargain Basement feel of the Anchorage international terminal shop. Chewy Vitamins and Super B Complex, $34/jar, but buy 6, get 1 free.

8:30am Reboard plane, experience reshuffling of seats, however this time the flight is full. I give my aisle seat to someone's husband, but I end up in a middle seat, ouch.

9:15am Alaska, it was brief. Takeoff.

9:45am I love chicken risotto for breakfast, or dinner, or whatever... I guess.

10:20am Begin reading Lotus Eaters

12pm The Vietnam war can be a little heavy, so I give it a rest. I still have hours of Ira Glass, new podcasts favorites remaining and old favorites. to/enjoy re-listening.

1:20pm Listen to a horribly sad and moving podcast, tissues required. Neighboring passengers look slightly concerned.

Cross International Date Line, June 18th at destination

2pm (2am at destination)- float in and out of sleep again, March of Penguins shuffle.

3:30pm Crazy turbulence catch people off guard. Some people forgot to take their motion sickness meds, yuck. Still nothing compares with Air Koryo, Pyongyang-Shenyang flight in ‘09.

5pm Enormous ham and cheese hot pocket. Under any other circumstances I'm not sure how delicious it would have been. Watch a C movie.

5:45pm A flight attendant intrigued that I speak Chinese by now will only speak to me in Chinese. She feels horrible I landed in the middle seat. She offers me ice cream or fruit, and I try to politely decline again and again.

6:15pm (6:15am local time) arrival in Taipei, a little exhausted and wishing Taipei was my final destination. The friendly flight attendant hands me a gift bag as I deplane to thank me for my troubles. China Airlines experience > Air China.

6:25pm Stroll around the airport, debate exchanging money just so I can buy a delicious looking bowl of noodles. I refrain.

7:30pm Boarding begins on my last flight, destination Beijing. For being so early (7am-ish), it's a raucous group in the waiting lounge. Photos are flashed in front of the plane, viewings of souvenirs bought, and squads of people in matching company apparel overtake the space. And of course, a crew of 25+ Buddhist monks and nuns also line up to board.

8:15pm Takeoff from Taipei, read Lotus Eaters for all of plane ride, great diversion

9pm What is with ham in everything on these flights? Ham and fake cheesy pasta, for... dinner, breakfast?
10:10pm Seven women from a company group I was seated among go duty-free crazy, upping each other with number of bottles of perfume bought. I pass perfumes between them.
11:15pm (11:10am at destination) Land in Beijing! Sail through Customs, baggage claim
11:45pm Airport express into Beijing
12:30am/pm Amy meets me at Dongzhimen, walk to her apartment
1am/pm Noodles in a small restaurant for lunch, yum, I’m back
1:30pm Register at Public Security Bureau nearby noodle stall
3pm I go with Amy back to work, getting very sleepy
5pm Meet up with friend Kevin, who is also visiting Beijing for a few days
7pm Eat at Yunnan restaurant in Sanlitun, there are new buildings and new stores everywhere. Beijing continues to grow up and out.
9pm Watch the ending of a World Cup game on a huge screen in an outdoor courtyard
10pm Walk back to apartment, somewhat delirious and tripping over myself, but knowing I’ll beat jet lag by the sheer force of exhaustion
11:30pm Fall into a deep sleep, happy to be horizontal for the first time in over 50 hours. Confused by the seeming normality of my return, feeling at home, but also knowing that my laid back Fulbright life is over, and I have moved on. But for a limited time only, I will re-indulge.

Summer Itinerary

2010-06-09T16:41:00.000-04:00

View Back to Asia Itinerary, Summer 2010 in a larger map

Mapping Monasteries

2010-05-24T13:13:00.004-04:00

当代大陆佛寺的地理学分析

Geographical Analysis of Contemporary Chinese Buddhist Monasteries

(from 吴疆，Arizona State U.）

Maybe I should have conducted my research in southern China instead. Next time?

Personal Recap

2010-05-20T11:59:00.010-04:00

As I watched Serena Williams dominate her opponent in an early round of the China Open last October, I had no clue my days in Beijing were numbered.

In early October, after suffering off and on bouts of intense abdominal pain, my roommate suggested I consult a Chinese doctor (thank god). I had assumed it was just a fairly regular China/travel food reaction, and had tried to ignore the pain. But since my days as a Fulbrighter (with insurance) were almost up, a trip to the doctor was definitely the smart decision. The Chinese doctor checked my pulse, my ears, eyes, and looked at my tongue. From this, he diagnosed me with a colon infection. While this wasn't completely accurate, it was a much closer assessment than I would later receive from any blood test, CT scan, or Western MD specialist in New York until I was actually in surgery two months later.

Court-side next to Serena, I choked down another bag of an undelicious brown substance of boiled Chinese herbs, roots, and I don't want to know what else. The Chinese doctor gave me bags of brown liquid to drink every day for a week, but said I needed blood tests to see if Chinese medicine would be able to resolve the infection. If my white blood cell count was too high, I would have to use Western medicine.

Of course, this predicament fell on a Chinese holiday, and when I visited a Chinese hospital, I was told that no one could take my blood for 3-4 days. So I decided to just go to the international hospital. After a number of consecutive days shuttling through different departments of the hospital, seeing doctors, and undergoing a spectrum of tests, I was vaguely diagnosed with two abdominal masses. It was unclear what was happening in my abdomen. All they could confirm was that there was something, or some things (plural), that weren't supposed to be there. The doctors didn't know if I would need urgent surgery at any moment, or if this was an issue that could wait. As my Fulbright had officially ended during one of those doctor-visit days, and this diagnosis was not something I could comfortably ignore, I only had one option. I booked an immediate flight back to the States, packed up the past year of my life in China, and got out of dodge.

This was not quite the way I had envisioned leaving China. There was no time to revisit my favorite restaurants, tackle my someday-before-I-leave-to-do list (like the flag raising ceremony at dawn on Tiananmen), soak up my favorite neighborhoods for a final time, or see friends and notify contacts before my departure. I also had no idea when I would ever return. I didn't, and still quite don't, know how much of a role China will play in my life in the future. So the stress of the medical diagnosis was amplified by the unknown ahead and the lack of closure behind.

I returned to New York, and weeks of uncertainty passed, as did another stream of doctor visits, tests and scans. Finally, I had surgery in December. The surgery came as a shock to all. Waking up in the OR (which you're not supposed to remember) I asked the face that peered into mine what had happened. She replied, "you had appendicitis, we removed your appendix." As everything went black again, I remember thinking, what the... I spent a week in the hospital, and then a few weeks hobbling around the East Village, ahh laparoscopy. But it was all thankfully behind me. My appendix had ruptured, but I was lucky. Life would go on, just appendix-less.

This is not usually the variety of personal thread I intend to weave into my blog. But without outlining the what/why/how of my sudden departure from the PRC and ensuing months back in the US, it's difficult to understand the state of purgatory my life entered in early October. And while I can't say I enjoyed the whole process, especially with words like "tumor"? "malignant"? thrown around, it wasn't actually all that grim.

I came back and lived a relaxed, symbiotic life with my wonderful godmother in the East Village. Since I wasn't in any pain, I tried to make the best of the situation. I couldn't look for a job with surgery and recovery a significant unknown, so I finally had what most people in New York lack- time. I bought a bike. I explored from the outer perimeters of Manhattan to the small streets of downtown neighborhoods. And I tried to be productive. I started to study for the LSAT, read books, listened to podcasts. However with that much unstructured time, it's nearly impossible to live up to one's grandiose expectations of productivity. So even more importantly, I reconnected with the people I had been far away from for so long. My family, my friends. I finally had limitless time to spend with people I care about, a true luxury. So despite my many visits in and out of NY Presbyterian Hospital throughout those months, it was an important time to re-establish my personal life and get acquainted with new york. More and more, New York has grown on me, and now I'm not sure how many other cities I could live in long-term. I appreciate that it's a walking city, that it's a city that challenges me, a city that feeds me amazing food and has turned me into somewhat of an amateur foodie, and a city that never After surgery, I took walks around the neighborhood, and violated social norms by sitting in the dog park in Tompkins Square Park, sans dog.

I took a welcome hiatus from New York during its darkest, coldest months to spend more time on the west coast. I split about 6 weeks between working at Hsi Lai temple outside of LA, and spending time with friends in the Bay area. Back in New York with the pressure reapplied to find a job, the American job market has not exactly welcomed me with open arms. I know the unemployment statistics, but sentiments of frustration and disappointment have still largely prevailed. I have at least patched together some semblance of a professional life, working with two wonderful, very different organizations.

Since I'm on to plan F or G by now, an opportunity has suddenly presented itself for me to return to China in less than a month. I couldn't be more ecstatic.

I participated in Woodenfish in Taiwan in July 2005, and my experiences there led me to begin studying Chinese and Buddhist philosophy at Colgate, which led me to an Asian Studies major, and from there, my life and activities up until now took shape. In the past year, it has all come full circle. Since my stay at Hsi Lai temple in January and staffing the winter Woodenfish program, I've been working closely with the director of the program to plan and coordinate all pre-departure details for the large summer program. And now I will be able to staff the program as well. I'll be back in mainland China in June and July, and then in Taiwan through mid-August. I'll be able to retrace my steps from five years ago in Taiwan, and from last year in Beijing. And I will hopefully be able to continue to dig deeper, question more thoughtfully, and maybe form some provisional answer as to how and why all roads for me continue to lead back to Asia, and Buddhist practice.

The Buddha in LA

2010-01-25T14:45:00.007-05:00

Many times, I’ve felt that I’ve dove into new experiences head first, fast, and maybe sometimes too early. Whether that’s in my nature or that’s just how things have happened, I'm not sure. But as for what I’ve been doing now, working on staff at the Woodenfish winter retreat at His Lai Temple outside of LA, the timing could not have been better.

a rainbow appeared over the temple on the last morning of the program

I arrived here at Hsi Lai on January 13^th, with little concrete idea of what I would be doing. After the end of the week-long program, it’s still hard to say what I was doing all the time, except that I was very busy, and happy. The schedule was rigorous, with wakeup at 5:45am and lights out usually after 10pm. I spent many hours each day in the dining hall, serving food to the participants in traditional monastic eating style (no talking, all mindfulness) and doing dishes. Additionally, the staff acted as both the conductors and back-stage hands of the large moving semi-organized-by-height-two-lines-of-students walking everywhere from the dorms to the temple to the classroom to the dining hall, and back around again. In many ways, this was a toned-down version of what many former Woodenfish participants consider to be “Buddhist boot camp.” When I was 19, after my freshman year in college, and participated in the Taiwan program, this was also kind of what I was thinking. But four and half years later, with a different perspective on life, and many choices to make ahead, this environment has so far proved to be a healthy and rejuvenating one.

Although I spent a year in China with a focus on Contemporary Chinese Buddhism, my subject of study had in many ways become a detached object— one that I studied as separate from myself, and disconnected from me. I wasn’t practicing too much meditation, and largely became disillusioned by many of the temples and Buddhist monastics I encountered (why I switched to a focus on the lay community). Maybe because of lingering language barriers, or that I could not often connect with the ways in which they taught and talked about Buddhism, I felt less connected to what the Buddhist teachings impart than I ever had.

Therefore, coming back to a Taiwanese Buddhist temple in the States, I’ve had the opportunity to experience Buddhist philosophy anew, in both English and Chinese mediums. I’ve been reminded why I was first attracted to Buddhist teachings and philosophy—the utterly logical framework of a universe based in cause and effect and total interdependence, and a religious orientation focused on the alleviation of suffering of all beings. Sounds pretty good, right? It seems that one can hear the same story, the same analysis, the same piece of advice fifty times, but it is only when it is told that last time that something clicks, a door opens, and you see everything differently. I can’t say I necessarily experienced that this past week, I was maybe too busy serving tofu and avoiding torrential rainstorms, but to throw all of one’s being into action- one's body and action into the service of other people, and one's mind into contemplation and mindfulness, has been both a purifying, and necessary activity for me.

As the participants were asked this week by one of the instructors, you clean your body by taking a shower, but how can we clean our minds? It is only through careful, and at times painful analysis of ourselves- including our emotions, our relationships and instances when conflicts have arisen. We must then ask ourselves why we experienced anger, jealousy, or hatred, and then we begin to peel away the causes and conditions of the situation, eventually often discovering that it was not an external person or factor that caused our negative emotions, but rather our own afflictions and selfishness. When we engage in this analytical activity, it becomes clear that blaming others is not helpful behavior. One of the instructors encouraged participants to continually analyze the phrase, "Take nothing personally." What does it mean, and how can it change both our own behavior and how we conceive of and interact in our relationships?

In each situation, it is our own personal decision how we choose to experience something. For example, some people hate practicing Chinese, other people like it, but it’s the same activity, the only difference is one’s perspective. If we make the choice to treat experience neutrally or positively, then there’s a lot less suffering. Although this is hard to put into practice, even just in the dining hall, I saw how some kids were really making an effort to not be so picky with food and preferences. Some of the boys who were anti-vegetable, especially anti-mushroom and wasted food at the beginning of the week became strongly pro-greens by the end of the program. So at the least, they got that out of it!

Last year, the same program was a complete disaster. Approximately eight participants jumped ship before the end of the week, and the rest were rather miserable from the sound of it. Although we were fearful this year would end in the same way, by the end of the week, all of us were pleasantly surprised there were no casualties. Although the students had a fairly poor performance during the day of silence and could be whiny, obnoxious, and at times disrespectful, by the end there had been some significant changes. If the purpose of the program is taken seriously and integrated into one behavior with determination and sincerity, the result can be nothing less than transformational.

The most intense experience for many of the participants was a ceremony on their final night. Because of the torrential rain all week, the original plan for a ‘pilgrimage’ had to be changed. Instead, we had a ceremony with chanting of some sutras (Buddhist scriptures) and longer prostrations (full bows to the ground). During each prostration, participants were instructed to think of a person you would like to say sorry to about something, or you could choose someone in your life who you want to wish well. Although the night had seemingly cleared of storms, on about the third prostration, a massive thunderstorm struck more or less on top of the temple. As the rain was pouring down outside and the thunder roared above, and I could almost feel the guilt and pent-up emotional afflictions washing off of me. Unless you are a Catholic (and a more devout one at that), it is a rare occasion for most Americans to be given an opportunity to sincerely and openly ask for forgiveness, and this had a very strong impact on many of the participants. Coincidence or whatever the storm was, it makes even the most skeptical of us pause.

The weeklong program for the 45 college students has finished, and I am now continuing my stay in the temple for an additional two weeks. Tonight we are going to see Avatar IMAX 3D, it's not all work and Buddha all the time!

I sometimes wonder how I continue to find myself hanging out with Buddhists, but it seems the causes and conditions have ripened, so I’ll just go with it, and see what happens.

where I went in August

2009-10-22T17:39:00.002-04:00

Inside North Korea 2009

Final Tally

2009-10-01T10:10:00.000-04:00

View Julia in China in a larger map

old teachings and new businesses

2009-08-08T01:33:00.000-04:00

Even the lao taitais are getting in on it, too. China's booming economy, relaxation of particular government policies, and its growing class of nouveau riche with money to spend are creating new markets for businesses, and opportunities for people that previously just weren't possible.

A couple weeks ago, I went with Gao to visit a woman surnamed Wang from Jilin province in northeastern China. She now lives in Beijing, literally next to terminal three of Beijing's new Capital Airport. We arrived at around 10am, and she met us outside of her apartment complex. As yet another plane roared off into the air directly over our heads, and I lost hearing for about 30 seconds, I tried to assess her. Dressed in a long, comfortably fitting dress, this slightly overweight mid-60s Chinese woman seemed like your average retired lao taitai. In the following eight hours of conversation that ensued, we had some quality time with Wang-- enough time to ascertain how she already is and will soon become a stronger vehicle for transmission of traditional Chinese culture and values to the general populace. While she has done this work for decades, it is only now, under more suitable economic and social conditions, that her teachings can be systematized, and spread on a larger scale.

wang's abilities and ideas

Before our arrival, Gao told me Wang was a 民间奇人, a folk/popular personage possessing unusual abilities. He explained to me that she is the direct descendant of a relatively well-known woman from the countryside of northeastern China, who was said to have attained enlightenment when she saw night as day. From then on, she taught people in the countryside how to be 'good people.' Her great-granddaughter Wang also allegedly possesses some of these traits. Her teachings focus on women, and teaching women how to be 'good' women. In addition, she can assess anyone's personality she meets based on their physical appearance, voice, and a quick glance at their heart (she was rather accurate with me!). For the cherry on top, through goutong conversation, she is said to be able to cure diseases- ranging from psychological issues to HIV/AIDS.

Much of what Wang related to us that day dealt directly with familial relationships, which she understands as the heart of human existence, and also the main source of human angst and difficulty. She sees human life in a very traditional Chinese way, as a linear path from youth to old age, with distinct goals and responsibilities at each stage. In fact, her world view, in stark contrast with Gao's, is void of anything remotely identifiable as 'religious.' In its place, and what she thinks is now out of whack in the world, is the basic solid foundation of family relations. All of this sounds completely Confucian, up to a point. Where she leaves strict Confucian filial piety talk, and picks up the min jian or folk side of things, is with her diagnoses (which often rely on her intuition and gut sense of the situation) and treatments of these flawed, or even failed relationships.

She told many stories about families who have consulted with her about how to mend their ties or more often than not, deal with a wayward child. In one case, a child was born with psychological issues. Wang said her intuition told her that the mother had been angry for her entire pregnancy, she questioned the woman about it, and sure enough, the mother broke down, and through her sobs, admitted that this was the case. In other situations, Wang said that she meets children who want to 犯制 pick a fight with their parents or even want to hurt them. Yet in most cases, it is not the children who are to blame, but is instead a case of poor parenting. In these situations Wang sees a 因果的延续 continuation of cause and effect/karma because of how members of a family have treated one another.

For Wang, there seems to be no reason to sugar-coat the suffering of life, she knows how to lay it on thick, and get straight to the point. Also, she has little time or patience for those who twist reality. Gao for example, mentioned that he tells people that through Buddhism, he is able to jiu ren, save people. She slammed him for that, saying how do you think you can save people- nobody is capable of saving another person. On another occasion, she retrieved printouts of teachings written by a contemporary Chinese teacher. Her anger towards the writer was palpable. Her hands shook as she pointed defiantly towards passages filled with untruths. She returned to the same tirade more than an hour later, spitting out continuous vitriol, outraged that this guy (an extremely popular teacher based in central China) would dare teach his disciples such flawed, inane material. At times like those, her face would narrow, her eyes widening in anger, and her voice rising many decibels above appropriate inside-voice levels. But then that face would fall away as fast as it had appeared, and give way to a huge grandmotheresque-grin in my direction.

on the defensive..

Over the eight hours that day, I experienced stretches of intrigue, frustration, and fatigue. For the most part, Wang talked, and Gao and another companion occasionally interjected questions or commentary. For better or worse, the times I felt more moved to talk than listen was when I was on the defensive- either about friends' lifestyles, the US and the 'West,' or ideas about freedom.

It's still a rather prevalent idea in China that homosexuality is not 'natural.' According to Wang, the current rise of homosexuality in modern Chinese society is an unfortunate byproduct of overexposure to Western culture, where society is "just too open." Wang told one story about a family she met with. The parents were concerned because the boy, already well into his 20s, was not interested in girls. When Wang met with the boy, he told her that ever since he was thirteen or fourteen, he realized he was attracted to boys. Wang's diagnosis was that the real root cause was not homosexuality. Her intuition told her that the boy's parents marriage was always on the rocks, and since the boy didn't have a positive idea of marriage, he didn't want to get involved with girls at all. After the telling of this story, the conversation continued on, talking about homosexuality as a psychological disease that could be cured. That's about where I cut in. They politely listened to me cite personal anecdotes about friends and scientific studies to the contrary. And then with a 'well-you're-American-so-you-would-think-that' look, swiftly rejected my arguments and carried on as before.

At other times, especially over lunch at a restaurant near her house, Wang and Gao were both fired up about differences between China and the West, a favorite go-to conversation topic when foreigners are present. Gao told me knowingly, "Chinese people can't understand Americans, and Americans have no way of understanding Chinese people." Almost in the same breath, he began to talk about the US and its flaws- lack of family values, lack of personal responsibility, the doom that could only come to a society based on, gasp, freedom. Wang affirmed that all the US laji garbage had been brought to China, and China had forgotten the most valuable aspects of traditional society, namely the lessons about family that she condoned.

I'm also a fan of the baseless, nonsensical US-China comparisons. Gao said meaningfully over lunch, "I was talking with someone, and we realized the greatest difference between Americans and Chinese. Americans 重视 regard/value music as important. Chinese regard food as important." I'm not sure how this exactly explains away all of our other cultural differences, or has inherent value in itself, but it would be pretty fabulous if that was the greatest cultural hurdle to overcome. Another favorite argument Gao likes to make, which he also returned to that day, is about how China is actually the freest place on earth. He grinned and gesticulated wildly as he explained- you can spit on the street, not wear a shirt (men only of course, this isn't the French Riviera), not follow traffic laws, and have whatever job you want. In short, "in China, you can do whatever you want, it's much freer than the US!" Based on that concept of freedom, you mean.. chaos? Hmmm..

While I think it's great that there's people like Wang who hope to revitalize the concept of family, I also have some caveats. Just as with the transmission of any canon of teachings or set of values, while her teachings should maintain their basic principles, it is also equally imperative they have the flexibility to speak to the era. It's 2009, and it's important that she is able to discriminate between useful, valuable teachings and those that should be left behind in the last century. Teachers such as Wang who hope to revive Confucian teachings need a creative, open mind to relay how these teachings are still applicable and valuable, and also seek out new ways to use them to benefit society. Wang's teachings and her success speak to how traditional Chinese teachings, despite all odds and desperate efforts to eradicate their existence in recent decades, are still fully relevant and one viable response to the ideological bankruptcy that Chinese society currently faces.

As for all the US/freedom talk, I guess that is why I am here in China. As annoyed and angered as I was, it would be worse to be ignorant of other opinions of the US. My job then is to hear other viewpoints, and to also to straighten out (or at least, try to) some serious misconceptions. To some extent, an old dog may not be willing to drastically change their thinking, but I hope that I can at least act as an example. Most important in these conversations is to not take everything personally (difficult at times), and to distinguish their understanding of the US (limited) from their understanding and expertise in Chinese traditional culture (vast). When they spoke out about the horror of divorce rates in the US and increasingly so in China and what havoc it wreaks on families, I said I came from a divorced family, and came out okay. When they said Americans have no sense of responsibility, I explained how many Americans, including myself, actually have many responsibilities, and fulfill them! As long as people are willing to actually listen, rather than use the foreigner as a talking point, I've still got hope. I agree with Wang and Gao that China is learning some of the worst aspects of American culture- fast food, internet addictions, extreme consumerism. But that's not to say we don't have anything good to offer the world either! It's always in moments like those, when I'm on the defensive, that I surprise myself. In spite of hating on government policies for the better part of my adolesence, I realize how much the US means to me, and how different life would be, and I would be, if I did not grow up there.

Business as Usual

Wang spends many of her days on a rather intense circuit throughout China, visiting people who value her consultations, and teaching to larger groups (she also mentioned how she had once taught a group of thirty Americans at a monastery in Fujian province). Where does Gao fit into all of this? He hopes that in exchange for learning from her unique talents, he will be able to help her turn all of this teaching into a streamlined business venture for good. She can possibly team up with others who teach Chinese medicine, and first focus on the cities, where the money is. However, both Wang and Gao agreed that ultimately, they want to take these teachings throughout the countryside, where the need for her teachings on family values is greatest.

In this conversation between them, many of the same phrases popped up that I've heard at other meetings and informal conversations at Buddhist organizations- developing a model for future development a mo shi 模式, systematization 系统化. Gao had drawn rather primitive diagrams, charting the relationships between donors, organizations, students, illustrating to Wang where she fit into all of this.

Even a few years ago, there would be no way Wang could think about turning her teachings into a formal organization. The government just wouldn't have allowed it. Now however, there is space for this kind of activity. She can set up this organization, and not face strict controls from the government, as long as as she and Gao reiterated, she keeps it very clear what she is doing. The government is only concerned when it is somewhat fuzzy as to what is happening. No suspicion, no problem.

As the afternoon faded into evening, I was allowed to thumb through one of her family's Qing-era texts she brought out from her collection. It thoroughly outlined guidelines for social behavior, and in some sweet ven-diagrams, oriented the universe based on the overlapping spheres of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Daoism. It was amazing to hold this piece of history in my hands, and gave credence to the fact that despite the decades in the 20th century of hard-lined policies to effectively wipe the slate clean, traditional Chinese values are sill alive and well.

signage in sichuan

2009-07-11T22:30:00.002-04:00

Airport bathroom stall in Chengdu, I can't make this stuff up.

From Sichuan

This was inside the panda reserve in Chengdu. I guess this is how the government, in this case the "Spriritual Civilization Office," attempts to influence people's life choices in order to create the so-desirable 'civilized society' wenming shehui.

From Sichuan

belated sichuan wrap-up

2009-07-09T04:08:00.000-04:00

A summary highlights of the three weeks my friends visited China is now viewable via video. All credit attributable to Taylor, video-maker extraordinaire. You can also check out her blog about her travels to Ecuador and Tanzania over the past year.

Taylor, Jules and Laura in China from Taylor Buonocore on Vimeo.

After they flew home on June 16th, I took a few intensive research/sightseeing days in Sichuan province, during which I visited about ten monasteries. This was possible in part due to the fact that Sichuan is a stronghold of both Chinese and Tibetan Buddhist communities, and mostly thanks to the guidance of a Colgate friend from Chengdu, who is also Buddhist. During the course of my five days in Sichuan, we visited and stayed over at her teacher's monastery in the southeast of the province. I also toured two of Chengdu's larger urban monasteries, Wenshu Yuan 文殊院 and Zhaojue Si 昭觉寺. Additionally, I made a two-day solo trip to Leshan and Emei Shan, the site of 大佛 Big Buddha and one of China's sacred Buddhist mountains, respectively. And of course, no trip to Chengdu is complete without a visit to the Panda Reserve.

From Sichuan

In order to get to the top of Emei Shan in the morning when views are clearest, I was again sucked into a Chinese tour group. As usual, a total nightmare. If it wasn't the sardonic of a chain smoking middle aged Chinese man: his off color side remarks about Buddhism on the sacred mountain (I understood just enough to know they were realllly disrespectful), or his smoking in the bus right in front of me, it was the pair of 20somethings Chinese guys who wolfed down some individually wrapped cakes for breakfast, then tossed all the wrappers out the window, off the side of the sacred mountain. I screamed at them, slammed the window shut, and just got more frustrated when they only giggled back at me, surprised that the waiguoren got so worked up about some plastic wrapper. Luckily, I was able to cool down and separate from the crowd later on. We had plenty of 'free time' at the peak, and even better, 18 of the 22 members of the tour group bailed out after lunch. Traveling alone in China can be a frustrating nightmare (cue infinite "HELLO, heLLO, HHEEEELLLLLOOOO"s directed in my direction, mocking Chinese people, stares, and answering the same set of questions about my age, nationality, life in China, and Chinese study over and over and over again), but it's also a good opportunity. I talked to many people I might otherwise not have. I spent an evening lounging outside chatting with the owners of a hotel. We watched people wander and relax along on a road that curved around to a monastery on lower Emei Shan. I met other Chinese tourists who were more willing to approach me because I was alone, and had some interesting conversations as a result.

The Golden Peak of Emei Shan From Sichuan

Emei Shan From Sichuan

At Leshan's Big Buddha From Sichuan

The meetings with different Buddhists in Sichuan were also fulfilling.

From Sichuan

My friend's teacher/shifu is in his early 80s, practically deaf and blind, but in the process of building a monastery. When we arrived at the monastery, situated on a peaceful mountaintop, he was seated on a chair directly on the site, watching over workers digging. He couldn't see who had arrived, and one of his devotees shouted in his ear to announce we had come. But of course, first impressions can be a bit misleading. What I took initially for frailty in old age, was really only corporeal degeneration. His mind and energy levels were floating in some other, higher realm. He talked to Pian for over three hours that afternoon, answering questions we had, and others more specific ones relating to her practice. As he is from rural Sichuan, he barely speaks putonghua or standard Mandarin Chinese, but rather a thick dialect of Sichuanese, barely comprehensible to many Chinese people (at least that's what they told me, maybe just to make me feel better?).

He did get a late start, not taking his vows until in his 60s, but now has a growing following. During our time on his mountaintop abode, a steady stream of visitors came to seek his presence and guidance. There's the usual old ladies or lao taitais, devotees, donors, and those cured of disease by what most in the West would consider his miraculous healing powers.

What he talked to us about was meant to be practical advice for living well, contextualized with experiential anecdotes and his surprising knowledge of current events. Although he is somewhat sequestered, I can't say he's out of the loop. He referenced swine flu, global warming, and other issues he attributes to the widespread situation of moral degeneration and general way we live not in tune with the natural way of the world. I somewhat imagined him, both nearly blind and deaf, receiving daily briefings from around the globe, not unlike a politician. When talking to us, he also clearly read his audience. To put this in perspective, I was accompanied by two MIT PhD students. He spent a good deal of time talking about not over-thinking things (chronic problem), non-attachment (shoes, chocolate.. my list goes on), the negative effects of alcohol and gambling, and a whole host of other psychological manifestations that plague your average adult in these fast times.

This conversation about practical changes to make in one's life in order to purify your heart and mind was in sharp contrast to conversations the following afternoon with two Tibetan "living Buddhas," or in Chinese 活佛. In Tibetan a living buddha is referred to as a tulku. Tulkus are spiritually advanced monks who can direct their future reincarnations, the Dalai Lama is the most obvious example. Additionally, there are presently hundreds of these known lineages. The two we met in a tea house/mahjong parlor in Chengdu were Tibetans living in Sichuan. One of them was working on a movie script about two monks going to Lhasa, and the other was an extremely shy gexi. Gexi is a title bestowed to those who have received the highest academic degree from a Tibetan monastery, the equivalent of a PhD. For the afternoon, we sat in the cool parlor, discussing Buddhist philosophy and the pieces that make Buddhist conceptions of original self, emptiness, and karma fit together. In all respects, it was a heady conversation. Yet because of the intense schooling and debating that is standard practice in Tibetan monasteries, logic and reasoning dominated the explanations and deconstruction of Buddhist doctrine.

From Sichuan

To strike a comparison, the elderly rural monk and the more cosmopolitan young living buddhas understand Buddhism, and how to teach its important lessons in very different ways. For some, it may seem they are speaking different languages, talking about different philosophies, even different 'Buddhisms.' Yet ultimately, these two conversations can and do happen simultaneously, and are merely two different sides of the same coin (or maybe the coin doesn't have sides?!). These two different styles reveal one of the many ways upaya, or the Buddhist idea of "expedient means" manifests itself. There are infinite teachings to reach the Buddhist goal precisely because each person will best respond to a teaching tailored to meet their needs and understanding. From here, I always wonder what it means for Americans and those in the West that many are most fascinated with a Tibetan or Japanese Zen telling of the Buddhist story. Is it because of the headiness, esoteric, and exotic taste? If so, it still can't hurt to take a step back and listen to another side, such as an elder monk in rural China who speaks of purity of heart, patience, doubt, and non-attachment.

beijing air

2009-06-19T01:39:00.001-04:00

All signs of late indicate a regression in Beijing air quality. On Tuesday, in addition to hazy pollution blanketing the city, at around 11:00 am, the sky turned so dark during a thunderstorm that it literally looked like midnight/an apocalypse (I guess that lady we met in the rice terraces was right!). Yesterday, the Air Pollution Index (API) reached 500, the hazardous limit. I avoided going outside, except for one short period, when it smelled like burning, and then it started to rain BROWN on me. Today is not much better. There is also some evidence officials are manipulating the indexes to meet the annual 'Blue Sky' expectations. This is something that's pretty hard to cover up, especially when I can't go outside without wheezing or choking. That New England air will be even sweeter next week!

Tuesday morning, 11:30 a.m.

Today's API readings

Outside of my window today, actually an improvement in visibility!

in review

2009-06-18T23:48:00.000-04:00

Places We Went
The past month has been too busy to blog, let alone breathe. Two friends from college, Laura and Taylor, made a debut appearance in the PRC at the end of May. They were here for three weeks, just returning back to the US two days ago. I acted as tour guide/translator during our travels through Beijing, Shanghai, and southern Guangxi province. While my research was put on pause, the rest of life was one hundred percent action packed.

From Laura and Taylor in China

For some sites in Beijing, I might as well be a certified tour guide by now. While there were the visits to the usual musts, we did indulge in plenty of other diversions and created new twists on some already visited sites. For example, I made my sixth trip (!) to the Great Wall, but we turned it into an overnight camping adventure, sleeping in a watchtower right on the wall (yes, it is legal to do in one section of the wall, and yes, we just slept on rock).

From Laura and Taylor in China

We were blessed with fabulous weather, and I had my first view of the Milky Way in months (no pollution, no city lights, what?!). Armed with rented sleeping bags and pads, we also bought enough beer to ensure we’d lull ourselves into a woozy slumber. I was pleasantly surprised with how well we did sleep on rock, at least until dawn. At 5:30am, a group of ten Chinese businessmen noisily tramped through our temporary shelter, walking right past our sleeping bags, glancing down at us with somewhat bewildered looks. Crazy foreigners.

From Laura and Taylor in China

I was also in Beijing for one of the more notable anniversaries of ’09: June fourth, the twentieth anniversary of the Tiananmen incident. Leading up to the anniversary, the China (English language) internet sphere was full of reflection pieces of a ‘now-and-then’ nature. Reporters and bloggers addressed questions such as: where are the protesters now? What is the status of democracy in China now? For those of us that were here in Beijing, the day came and went like any other. The only official tribute paid to the day was significantly heightened security, which was so blatant on the Square itself that it was actually comical. My roommate and I decided to pay a trip to the Square the afternoon of the fourth to see for ourselves. The reports were accurate, the usual security forces were supplemented with hundreds of plainclothes/party members that were extremely obvious because they were: A) all young men B) holding really girly umbrellas C) standing in one place looking dazed or walking in pairs and D) all wore Communist pins. Did they know why they were stationed there on the Square that day? What were their orders? I think the whole thing was yet another example of how the government’s PR is seriously lagging. You can’t think of anything more creative than umbrellas to use to fend off foreign journalists or pretend like there’s nothing here to look at? I think you can handle it with just a bit more finesse.

From Laura and Taylor in China

In Shanghai, we boated down the Huangpu River. Not exactly a scenic cruise in the traditional sense, but it was an informative look at, as Laura said, “the processes that makes our lives possible.” The miles of shipbuilding/repair, loading of goods for export, and transportation of timber and coal certainly gave a tangible sense of the magnitude of China’s domestic and global trade.

From Laura and Taylor in China

In Yangshuo, Guilin province, we biked through karst (limestone) mountains, boated down the Li River, and watched Zhang Yimou’s (the critically acclaimed director of China’s Olympic opening ceremony) light show, “Impressions.” Although the heavens opened to torrential rains for the entire nighttime outdoor performance, the performers continued on, completely unfazed.

From Laura and Taylor in China

In the countryside of northern Guangxi province, we first went to Da Zhai 大寨, a small village nestled into the mountains, flanked by rice terraces on all sides. This area of China, known as the Dragon’s backbone, is home to some of the most picturesque, working rice terraces in the world. Like many of the wonders in China, this area combines the beauty of the natural world with the deftness of human ingenuity. We hiked from Da Zhai through the rice terraces, ethnic minority villages of the Yao and Zhuang and over mountainous passes to Ping’an.

People We Met
At the Temple of Heaven
On Taylor’s “China Day One,” we took it slow and went to the Temple of Heaven and the park surrounding it for a picnic lunch and lazy afternoon on grass to catch up on the past eight months we had all been apart (we got stared at a lot and photos were taken of us, Chinese people as a rule, do NOT sit on grass, unless there is newspaper or some other proper barrier). After lunch, we heard some loud music, and I suspected there was a dance party happening in another area of the park. We ventured over to take a look. [Note: Any open public space in China- especially parks, outside of subway stops, or even under highway bridges (I saw that last night biking home!) is a completely legitimate space for starting up an ad hoc dance party] Sure enough, there was a group of old and young Chinese dancing male-female, female-female, or solo to techno and then more traditional Chinese beats. We watched for about ten minutes, and then were convinced by a bushy-browed older man to join in. He taught Laura some dance moves while I got down with a real intense little lady who knew how to shake what she had.

From Laura and Taylor in China

At the Rice Terraces

For our first night in the rice terraces, we stayed at the Vegetarian Hotel, located on a mountainside above Da Zhai. The hotel is owned and managed by an independent Chinese woman. In the evening, she spent a solid thirty minutes explaining the use of a somewhat magical head cream that builds your immune system. She offered us the treatment, but we told her maybe next time. Later on in the evening, she told us that the universe speaks to her, or more accurately, that she is now aware of the prophecy of the apocalypse through the truth that the universe has relayed to her. She told us she would like to, “invite the masters of the universe to come speak” and chose to come live in this village to spread the teachings of the universe. While I’m not sure how well this will all be received and I politely turned down her offer to translate the books of the words of the universe, she was at least well-intentioned. I definitely did not expect to discuss the apocalypse and cataclysms while over the serenity of the rice terraces.

Next Up
I'm heading off to Sichuan province this evening for five days. I will visit some monasteries in urban Chengdu and in more rural areas, and hopefully also have a chance to climb Emei Shan, one of China's four sacred Buddhist mountains. After that, back to the US next Friday, June 26th to July 8th- ME, VT, CT, NYC, and anywhere else I can fit in!

From Laura and Taylor in China

class

2009-05-14T02:55:00.001-04:00

An anecdote from attending university class on religion in China. Yesterday morning, the professor pulled up a website to show students resources they could use to research religious communities in the US, and around the world. He went to the "Nation" category, and there was "China" and "China-Tibet." Gasppp. Western media, at it again. He told the class, this is just politics "这就是政治." I wonder, A) how these measurements were made, considering modern China has never conducted a religious census, and any guess at numbers of religious believers are pure shots in the dark; B) how they calculate government regulation of religion and religious persecution in a country so vast, with such irregular if not erratic and unpredictable policy implementation and behavior, and with a government so nontransparent; and C) if those students understood the indexes beneath the main graphic, and how they would react to them.

Part 2: Trip to the northeastern countryside, final rites and new beginnings

2009-05-13T04:44:00.006-04:00

The second day in Qianan 乾安 was a whirlwind. By 7am, we were back across the street in the prayer hall 念佛堂 and moving through the hundred plus lay Buddhists who had gathered to take part in the ceremony. I stood by watching as the body of the old man was moved from the room out to the street on a stretcher. All of the people waiting by prostrated to the ground as the body passed them through the narrow alley and more finally lined up to proceed to the buses that had been arranged to take the community to the public crematorium. The mood was somber, but not sad. The whole space from the street to the hall was infused with the communal hum of namo omitoufo. When I went back out to the street, more people were holding flags with Buddhist phrases and large decorative objects (not quite sure what they were actually supposed to be), and all was organized parade-style.

From 吉林省 Jilin Province

After everyone had piled into the buses, we followed in a car at the end of the procession, crawling through town and out the other side. We passed cultivated farmland, and turned into the public works area, i.e. the public dump and crematorium, one place I hadn’t expected to come across in my travels. Since we were on the early side, arriving at about 7:45 am, the usual crowds had not yet filled the parking lot. After the next mass exodus movement into the main room, the community yet again began chanting, walking clockwise around the room, circling the body which had been rolled into the center into an encased clear box. First I tried to figure out if the body would be burned right there and then in the box somehow (my travels to the Varanasi, India had prepared me for anything), but there were a few more steps to go. After ten or fifteen minutes, one of the workers came out with gloves on and lit cigarette in his mouth, obviously impatient for the group to finish their rituals. A community member read aloud a biographical account of the old man, extolling his virtuous and full life- from participation in the People’s Liberation Army in 1949 to fathering three children, finally converting to Buddhism, and now, his entrance into his next life in the Western Paradise of Amitabha Buddha. The body was finally moved down through a corridor, followed by the procession of participants, and into another room. I had waited for all of them to pass, but a woman hurriedly came back to forcefully grab me and pull me forward past all of them to see those who had made it into the final room prostrating and throwing flowers on the body. I entered the room just before the worker yet again pulled the body along into the next, and final room. As I peered through the doorway, the furnace roared and a door was slammed shut. After another period of waiting outside, I was taken to the back outside the buildings. About ten of the participants were huddled around on the ground peering into a tin box. They picked through the bones and remains. With a Chinese dump to my rear, and this box in front of me, I felt a little nauseous. Nothing like decomposing trash and ashes to remind one of one’s mortality.

From 吉林省 Jilin Province

We left Qianan, Li and the community of Buddhists behind, and drove back to Songyuan. We visited some of tourist sites along the way, including a rebuilt Mongolian temple, (which is more like Mongolian/Tibetan/Chinese temple) and a Mongolian museum with the mandatory fake woolly mammoth, stuffed animals (not the soft, fuzzy kind), and faux-antiquated artifacts. Given Jilin’s location in the far north, the province is home to a number of Chinese minorities. Gao is Manchu 满族, but he said that he and his family had always thought of themselves as Han Chinese 汉族 (kind of odd, no?) and had registered themselves as such until Reform and Opening in the late 1970s. Since then, special exceptions and privileges have been given to minorities, including exemption from the One Child Policy. Since then, many people, including his family, have paid more attention to their status and have changed their registration in order to qualify for these new policies.

For lunch, Gao and Shu decided I should try some Dongbei specialty, and so after eight months in China, I finally ate dog. When they said I could try it 尝试 I somewhat imagined one plate of dog meat, and a variety of others. But obviously, a taste test would not suffice, the guest has to try all the varieties. So of the five plates that were ordered for the three of us, four of them were dog meat. Maybe if I ate it again (though I don’t plan to), I would be able to get past the thought of what I was eating. But this time it was more difficult to swallow than the scorpion I ate in Beijing’s Wangfujing night market last week (obviously my ten years of vegetarianism, out the door).

In the afternoon, we met up with Gao’s friend from the day before, Cheng. We first picked up a nun who Cheng hopes to hire to give lessons to lay Buddhists in Songyuan. The five of us then drove way out into the countryside on potholed roads to a construction site. This was one of Cheng’s many, many projects. There is the home for old Chinese people, geared towards elder Buddhists, but open to anyone. There is a hall specifically built for death rituals, so as to avoid the rather mundane public crematorium I experienced. He is building a Buddhist prayer hall 念佛堂 that has dormitories to accommodate up to sixty people for longer stays.

From 吉林省 Jilin Province

We also went to his factory and his plush three-story office building (also under construction) on the outskirts of Songyuan (the list goes on, and his current office in the medical clinic he directs, he’s also an MD). The most impressive project we visited throughout the afternoon was one that Cheng is only one of many contributors to- a massive Buddhist temple complex outside of Songyuan. The main hall is just massive, if not ostentatious. The total cost is around 7亿 700 million RMB, or just over 100 million USD. Unlike many other temples under construction or recently completed in China (like Ling Shan in Wuxi, where I went in March for the 2nd World Buddhist Forum), the funding of this temple complex is completely independent from the government. I would be interested to revisit the site once it is completed by the end of the year (things move fast here, really fast), not only to see the finished ‘product,’ but also to see how, and by whom it is used.

I will finish my trip summary there, and now break it down to trends I noticed in conversations, and my own thoughts based on what I observed.

Superstition
Official religious rhetoric tends to distance itself from superstition 迷信 as much as possible, condemning any belief in the supernatural and unexplainable as distinct from religious faith, and as the greatest stain of impurity on religion. Whatever superstition might or might not be, as much as some have worked to eradicate its influence, for many religious believers, it arguably still retains a very prominent position in their spiritual life 精神生活. From my first meetings with Gao and other teachers of the online Buddhist institute, it was obvious that superstition is part and parcel of their experienced Buddhist practice. In one of our first meetings, they told me that through practicing their form of Buddhism, it would even penetrate my dreams (I think I actually had a dream about it that same night, but perhaps more of a nightmare?... Maybe getting too involved in this research!) As Shu directly said to me of superstition’s relationship to the Buddhists we visited, “如果没有这个[迷信]，他们不会信/If there wasn’t this (superstition), then they wouldn’t believe [in Buddhism].”

I will shortly illustrate one case in point from Qianan. On Thursday morning when I went to Gao and Shu’s room, Gao was receiving a handful of lay Buddhists. Towards the end, a father and his 14-year-old daughter came in, and the father first instructed the girl to prostrate to Gao. They then settled in, and explained their predicament. The girl, at 14, had fallen in love, and could no longer focus on her studies. The mother was wildly opposed to this situation, and was pushing the girl to change schools. The father was more apathetic to the situation, but wanted to seek advice before making a decision. The girl silently wiped tears out of her eyes as four grown men stared at her. I sat at her side, not quite sure where to look. Awkward? Yes. Gao said he could figure out what they should do, and looked over at me and grinned. He pulled out his long strand of mala beads that he keeps on his person, and drew the strand apart, holding it in the air with two hands. He sat up stiffer, slowly shut his eyelids, and began to finger the beads from each end. Within ten seconds, he reopened his eyes with a verdict. He looked at the girl resolutely, and told her it was best to change schools. It’s amazing, and slightly frightening, that this young girl’s first love, its termination, and her future education were sealed in a matter of seconds by a string of wooden beads and some intangible communication with the universe.

Beef with the sangha
Perhaps this is an unsuitable sub-heading, oh well. (While some monastics do eat beef…) In this context, I mean that Gao and those in his circle, on many basic levels, take issue with the community of Buddhist monastics, the sangha. As I said earlier, Gao believes that the future of Chinese Buddhism lies not in the hands of the sangha, but with lay Buddhists. He contends that monastic lifestyle is disconnected from society, and the lifestyle of a monk or nun, self-serving. As a result, a meaningful monastic existence that at once propagates Buddhist teachings while serving society has become all but obsolete.

It is true that monastics are dependent on society to provide for them monetarily, yet as the number of monastics in mainland China is not off the charts, this isn’t really an issue yet. While there are certainly some ways that monastics can’t serve society, I think Gao has a rather fixed understanding of the sangha and their relationship (however concrete or abstract) with/to lay Buddhists around the world. His understanding has of course been shaped by his own experience with China’s monastic community today. Since many Chinese monastics today are undereducated, and monasteries don't yet have streamlined structures or effective leadership, he might be right. But long term, I think both lay Buddhists and members of the sangha are critical pieces to the positive growth of Chinese Buddhism on the mainland.

Buddhist revolution 佛教革命
This is the phrase Gao used to describe the ‘battle’ they are waging for believers in competition with the rapidly growing number of Christian communities across Dongbei and China. The nun who traveled with us around Songyuan currently lives in the outer reaches of Jilin’s countryside. In the town she lives in, about ninety percent of the population is Christian! Christians have actively and extremely enthusiastically proselytized, and have had great success. Here's one article from the Chicago Tribune, "Jesus in China," that discusses the rise of Christianity in China. Gao said the Buddhist communities could learn quite a bit from the successes of the Christian communities, but also provided reasoning why it is Buddhism, and not Christianity that Chinese people really need. As his understanding of Christianity is limited, his logic was rather reductionist and slightly flawed, but he concluded that Christianity's base was foreign to the Chinese worldview and was also unable to offer the same benefits as Buddhism in this life or the next. Gao and Shu explained to me that people might choose Christianity over Buddhism because they have many misconceptions about Buddhism, especially with regards to the restrictions it imposes on one’s lifestyle. They told me that most people assume you have take a number of vows to become Buddhist, and that Buddhism equals vegetarianism (dog meat and chuar restaurant, obviously not the case!). Throughout China, whether it is seen as a competition for believers or not, it will take time, transparency, and easing of religious restrictions to see which faith takes a greater hold across Chinese cities and countryside.

Construction
It is fairly obvious to me now that what the Buddhist community in mainland China lacks in numbers of devotees and widespread reception of teachings, they are making up for many times over in the construction of temples. Between government support for 'cultural scenic spots' to boost tourism and increase revenue and construction driven by monastics and lay Buddhists, people are most willing to contribute to Buddhism vis-a-vis hammer and nail. In short, many Buddhists believe that temple construction allows them to accumulate the most merit (i.e. karma brownie points to be cashed in on a rainy day), and so investing their dollars in wood, nails, and golden Buddhas makes the most sense. But just like much of construction in China today, some of the temples I've visited were clearly built hurridly. One hall that was completed only three years ago already had a lot of paint peeling off. I heard a few days ago from someone that Famen Si, the temple I visited in October in Xi'an, just opened their new 800 million RMB complex, and one of the Buddha statues fell over. Not so auspicious.

And what is the major drawback to this approach (of building Buddhism with raw materials)? Sure, there are increasing numbers of temples, monasteries and places to worship. But this brings no benefit to what mainland Chinese Buddhist communities really needs- deep and long-term investments in people. Yet there is good news. Some people, and some people with money who can make a difference, have recognized this. People I've met like Gao, and other lay Buddhists based in Beijing have told me that first and foremost, they must cultivate talented people/需要培人才. After all, it is only through people, not buildings, that anything can be taught, learned, experienced, cherished, and passed on.

may 12th

2009-05-12T02:36:00.005-04:00

Today marks the one-year anniversary of the devastating earthquake that shook China's southwestern Sichuan province, immediately killing an estimated 90,000 people and relocating many, many more. Much is left to be done, but unfortunately, foreign journalists are currently quite restricted from reporting on the current situation in these areas. See especially coverage by Financial Times, they have a few videos including a correspondent's 'reception' when he tried to interview the parent of a child who was killed in the quake.

There is numerous recent coverage, including takes on toll numbers at Christian Science Monitor, and the aftermath at CNN, BBC, China Daily, and Danwei.

There are also some other videos:

Afterquake: Music with Sichuan earthquake survivors from Sexy Beijing TV on Vimeo.

And an interview with the co-directors of a documentary you can find in the US but not in China, of course, "China's Unnatural Disaster."

And what am I up to?

I had received a phone call yesterday from Tong, one of the managers who I've befriended at Buddhism Online (one of the organizations I'm developing relationships with in Beijing), and she asked me to come in today. They've had some issues with one of their new hires, she is responsible for translating English articles about Buddhism into Chinese for their website. I had met her last week when I dropped by and it was her first day on the job, so I offered to help her if she had difficulties. Since then, I have received almost daily text messages from her with translation questions, so I had assumed/misunderstood they wanted me to come in and help her sort things out.

This morning I biked from my apartment to their office near Andingmen, a solid 45 minute bike ride, and arrived somewhat discombobulated, hot, red in the face, and with unbecoming sunglasses marks left on my forehead. Tong wasn't in the office, and so her co-workers asked me if I wanted to do interviews one-on-one, or all together. I was realllly confused. I finally realized that they had not mistaken me for a reporter or someone else, and that I was actually to conduct interviews for potential translator employees (unfortunately to replace the poor girl I've tried to help). Thanks to my three years at Colgate's career services, I was prepared to fire away with the questions.

Five candidates later, I've now had my first interviewing experience in China, oddly enough from the other side of the table. I just never know what to expect.

Part 1: Experiencing Buddhism in the northern countryside 吉林省的农村

2009-05-10T11:24:00.003-04:00

As our plane landed in high winds in Changchun on Wednesday morning, Gao Laoshi (Teacher Gao) reiterated his praises of Dongbei, the northeast provinces of China. On meetings with him in Beijing, he had always talked about Dongbei with a glow in his eyes and longing in his heart. For Gao, both the land and the people of Dongbei possess an intrinsic exceptionalism that makes it unique from the rest of China. He told me how the land was rich in minerals and crops were prosperous, so people could spend only half the year working the fields. For the rest of the time, they could play mahjong, drink (which they really know how to do), or devote their time to religious activity (it is also true that Dongbei is miserably, cruelly cold for the winter months, as my trip to Harbin in January demonstrated!). Whatever the reasons may be, the north of China is just a bit different. I knew I had arrived when the next morning at breakfast at 6:45 am, a man in his 60s walked into the restaurant and asked for a drink.

Why was I in Dongbei with Gao Laoshi? Last weekend I had to decline Gao’s invitation to participate in a three-day 法会 Buddhist ceremony outside of Beijing. However Gao had called me again on Monday with another proposal. He said that on Sunday, a Buddhist layman had passed away, and the Buddhist lay group in Jilin wanted him to come oversee the final rites. He had accepted their invitation and also invited me to go along with him. Since this seemed like a rather unique opportunity, I accepted, and was on a plane with him and Shu, another lay Buddhist, on Wednesday morning. On the plane, Gao had repeated the story (as would be repeated at least 100 times throughout the next two days) how this elder man had passed away.

At 82 years old, he had endured painful bodily suffering for a number of years. Only very recently did he 归依 convert to Buddhism. It was during this past weekend’s 法会 ceremony (which took place in Beijing and the northern town of Qianan), when they were praying and chanting (likely om mani padme hom or namo amituo fo) that the old man said out loud “我要走了 (I want to go [die])”, and then within three minutes, he passed away. For these Buddhists, the man’s pronouncement during this Buddhist ceremony and his death immediately thereafter was an event to rejoice. This was mortal proof that through devotion and entrustment in the infinite salvific power of Amitabha, Amitabha Buddha does release one from suffering. As devotees in this community believe, this man passed away into Amitabha’s western paradise. I won’t go into the details of doctrine and Buddhas here, but suffice to say that this form of devotion to Amitabha (阿彌陀佛 Amituo Fo in Chinese) through 念佛 “mindfulness of the Buddha” is the most popular and widespread form of Buddhism in China. As Gao Laoshi said to me on Thursday, Buddhism is actually rather 乱 luan disorderly. The scriptures are innumerable and if not pared down, most average people would find them wholly unapproachable for study or practice. Therefore, Pure Land Buddhist teaching provides one comprehensive solution to this issue. Focus on one single practice— the chanting of namo amituo fo, homage to Amitabha.

We landed in 长春 Changchun and then drove 200 kilometers north to 松原 Songyuan, in northern Jilin province, also Gao’s hometown. We met up with one of Gao’s old friends for lunch before continuing to drive another hour out into the countryside to 乾安 Qianan. As we entered Qianan, we picked up Li. Li is an extremely energetic, 49-year-old devout lay Buddhist, and the main reason the Buddhist community I was to visit was brought to life with such vigor. From the city, more educated, and previously in business, Li first invested in this countryside 念佛堂 Buddhist prayer hall in 2005. In 2006, he met Gao in Beijing, who was teaching zhunti fa, a specific mantra. Since then, he has considered Gao his 师父 teacher, and has literally not stopped for one day in teaching Buddhism and to Qianan’s growing community of lay Buddhist practitioners.

What is Gao’s spin on Buddhist teachings? I could, and probably should write quite a lot on Gao, who is an interesting man with a story to tell. For now, I’ll just say that Gao is the founder of an online Buddhist institute. Independently wealthy through years of work in the oil business, he has now wholly devoted his time to self-study of Buddhism and propagation of Buddhist teachings primarily through the World Wide Web (this in itself is another interesting phenomenon!). He focuses on teaching lay Buddhists, and creating an infrastructure through by which people do not rely on monastics- the Buddhist sangha for knowledge and insight. He deeply believes in the power of faith and purification of the heart, and that the future of Chinese Buddhism lies not in the hands of monks and nuns, who by nature are insulated from society and cannot properly serve people’s fundamental spiritual needs, but in the hands of lay Buddhists like himself. In addition, he holds that Buddhism must give people something or things, be it as abstract as hope and optimism or as concrete as good health, a better job, and healthy inter-personal relationships. He has told me that Chinese people are just too practical, if they are to believe in something, they need to know what they’re going to get in return.

Li had checked us into a hotel (The Popular Fashion Hotel, haha) and I lounged on my surprisingly large and strangely circular bed as I waited for Gao, Shu, and Li to come get me for the next activity. I was slightly taken aback when Gao appeared in monks’ robes. I did know he had received a lay certificate in the Tibetan Gelupa tradition which allows him to precede over ceremonies, though I’m a little hazy on what all his Buddhist education and certification programs have involved or actually give him ‘authority’ to do. We went outside and walked across the windblown street past a few cars, a donkey pulling a cart, and dust. Then I was in for a shock.

At the entrance to an alley winding back into the prayer hall, tens of lay Buddhists waited for our arrival, and bowed and prostrated to Gao upon sight. Two cameras and a video camera followed both him and me through the alley getting slightly uncomfortably close (undoubtedly the first foreigner to enter the hall, I got a bit more attention than I would have wanted during all of this). Upon entering the hall, I saw that over eighty lay Buddhists filled the room, chanting and bowing and prostrating upon our arrival. I looked at Gao again, now seeing someone I almost didn’t recognize. Was this really the man who had taken us out to a Mongolian bar two nights ago? Four years ago he was making deals in the oil biz, and now he prostrated to like a divine being. This was one of many moments to come I thought to myself, this is really 不可思议 unbelievable.

From 吉林省 Jilin Province

For Dongbei, Wednesday was unseasonably hot, with temperatures soaring above 30 degrees Celsius/80+F, and in this tightly packed hall, it was sweltering. About half an hour into the ceremony, they decided to do some introductions, and I had to introduce myself and tell them 我的感觉 my feelings about being there to the now 100+people in the hall. Mm, sweet. About an hour into the chanting, I was not all that pleased when Shu leaned over to me and said “是这样，这个一般是四个小时/This is usually four hours.” Well, thank goodness he was wrong, it only lasted 2.5+. During that time, Gao was ushered to the side room of the prayer hall where the body of the 82-year-old man sat in the same position he had died in. I finally decided I should go have a look and walked through the aisle to the back. They pulled me through the crowd that had gathered to look again, and sure enough there was the old man sitting upright in a chair. As if to prove to me he was actually dead, but not yet rigid, one of them grabbed his head to move it up and down and back and forth, and then grabbed his arm and flapped it around for me to see. Slightly unnecessary and in my mind, bordering on disrespectful, but what do I know. Luckily because a few people were taking photos and taping everything (including me slightly nodding off during the long chanting session, woops, it was hot and I woke up early!), I was also not inhibited from taking photos and video.

After that was all done for the afternoon, we went directly back to the Popular Fashion Hotel across the street. Shu and Li went out to bring back dinner, and an hour later we ate in Gao and Shu’s room. After a delicious meal, Li began a two-hour semi-monologue of his experiences in the Buddhist community. Through this, and Gao and Shu’s later further explanations, I gained a better understanding of what was going on there. Li had originally started the prayer hall with a few people, but in just under three years it had grown to a daily attendance of well over one hundred or even two hundred people, with three or four hundred showing up for more important events. Li said that there used to be a majority of older people, specifically of the 老太太 lao tai tai old lady variety. However, once he started to preach zhunti fa, Gao’s teachings, more and more young people came, 年轻化.

Li gives a lesson to whoever comes each morning for forty to fifty minutes and also fields people’s questions. He does not teach complex theories or lessons from the scriptures, but about dealing with and resolving fundamental issues that people face, usually dealing with family interpersonal relationships. Li told us a number of anecdotes of individuals or families who had started to come, and through their experiences at the nianfo tang, felt that their lives had been transformed. For many participants in the nianfo tang, Li is a spiritual role model (he had done 24 hours straight of nian fo the day before), and part social worker. He said people come with every variety of question or problem under the sun, and he must help them as best he can. He said some people also might not come because they 信佛 believe in Buddha, but rather because they, as Li says, “信我” believe in me. This, I do not doubt.

Li’s enthusiasm is contagious. With a protruding belly, and a round, young smiling face, he wears his faith and happiness on his sleeve. Unlike many people I meet, his motives are transparent and simple, though not mundane- he is devoted to easing the suffering of the community and through these teachings, bringing them joy. In fact, the single major problem he faces is that there are in fact too many people coming, “怎么控制?” How do I control it? Li has not registered the prayer hall nianfo tang as is actually required when you have over fifty people gathering for religious purposes. Yet as I’ve discovered about the government controls on religion, specifically Buddhism here, there is a gap, and more often than not, a large area of gray, between written law and practiced reality. Registration and oversight of Buddhists isn’t so much loosey-goosey, but if people are minding their own business, and not causing any trouble, local government officials (who might themselves be Buddhist) see no reason to exert resources to lay down the law. However, Gao advised Li that he couldn’t let the daily numbers in the hall exceed 200 people, otherwise they make attract unwanted attention. More threatening than the actual numbers is another issue altogether. A number of lay Buddhists in the town from another nianfo tang prayer hall have left that hall and started to come to Li’s, undoubtedly drawn by his charisma and efficaciousness of his teaching. If the leader of the other hall were to become unsettled by this trend, they could seek vengeance simply through increasing government alertness to the status of Li’s unregistered prayer hall. Hopefully, this is an unlikely outcome. Instead, Li told us how he has encouraged other lay Buddhists in surrounding towns to start up their own daily teachings, and he now knows of handfuls of other pockets where success stories like his are in the making.

To come, part 2: The final rites for the old Buddhist layman, and a tour around construction sites of future Buddhist temples in Jilin province.

cell phones and spas

2009-04-27T10:13:00.004-04:00

From Shanghaiist: Here we have it: the most ostentatious religious-themed cellphone in China!

Looking more like an ironically overdecorated Buddhist charm than an actual clamshell, the Zen Mobile comes encrusted in a 24K gold-plated ring set with emerald jade stones that have been inscribed with auspicious numbers.

Engadget didn't have much information about when this phone is coming out, what specs are hiding inside its luxuriously heavy top cover, or what the UI is like, but we bet this hunk of technology comes with a heap of karma - whether it will be good or bad karma we aren't quite sure.

Another Buddhism in the news story: A temple in Chongqing that dates back over 1,000 years may soon be turned into a spa. Information (in English) on this developing issue can be found here and here.

vermont to beijing and back again

2009-04-26T22:26:00.006-04:00

There's a wonderful way in which visiting family and friends open your eyes to new aspects of your environment abroad, or remind you afresh of aspects that you may have already become jaded to or blind to.

My brave mother (SO proud!) journeyed to Beijing this past week for a short, but sweet 5 days. From the countryside of Vermont where her travels began, Beijing is one of the farther places away, physically and culturally. During her time here, she was able glimpse sides of China and interact with Chinese culture in a participatory way that few average tourists are able to in such a short time. While we didn't make it to a few of the big so-called musts, i.e. the Forbidden City and Lama Temple, we had quite a few, rather unique experiences. We went out to lunch with a Buddhist entourage of monastics, lay people, and reporters, drank tea with senior monks

From Mom's visit

in the living quarters of the monastery home to the Buddhist Association of China (epicenter of Chinese Buddhism!), and also cruised to the Great Wall on a beautiful day in the back of a private Audi with some Chinese friends.

From Mom's visit

We also did the usual perusing of the markets, walks in the old sections of Beijing through hutongs near Houhai, visited the Summer Palace on a beautiful spring day, and ate an array of international cuisine. We also had the few odd encounters that are fairly standard in China. Like when I mistook building 2a for 2b and and a door was flung open at 10am on Sunday morning to a friendly Chinese man in purple pajamas. Woops.

I was reawakened to some details of Beijing that I've already begun to take for granted or forgotten about, for example, that Beijing truly has become a cosmopolitan city- it is full of diverse neighborhoods, peoples, and commodities. With a little bit of know-how and some searching, almost anything you want (so much cheap stuff!) or don't want (strange meats..) can be discovered. Also, from the center of Tiananmen and the Forbidden City out to the suburbs, the scale of Beijing streets, crowds, and distances are American cities on steroids. It takes awhile to get anywhere, traffic is intense, and nothing is exactly pedestrian friendly (something I forget when I ride my bike everywhere!). In addition to the sites, my Mom was able to meet a few of the fantastic people I've gotten to know since I've been here, those who have made Beijing the home it has become for me. I think my Mom was at times surprised, if not overwhelmed by their hospitality and the genuine interest they had both in her, and me.

And of course, in the eight months I've been here (oh, wow), I've tried to forget about some of the annoyances that make living in China a challenge, but which are amplified for those who have just arrive here, i.e. the general lack of personal space, choosing your role as 'tramplee' or trampler of others, the traffic, pollution, smoke, and some of the other odd idiosyncrasies of Chinese culture.

All of those aside, we had a good time. I'm happy to know my life in Beijing is now signed, stamped, and mother approved. And if my mom can do China, you can too. Now open for visitors, make your bookings soon!

They bought us hats on the Great Wall to protect the fair skin

From Mom's visit

footage from march

2009-04-21T02:02:00.008-04:00

I just realized this was saved in my drafts. Here are some videos I recorded in March, switched to youku as youtube is still behind the firewall here. Some of them are rather shaky, I think there was so much to look at, especially in the case of the high-tech opera, my video recording is slightly ADD. Hopefully these are viewable...

Serf's Emancipation Day on CCTV

Lingshan, bathing of the Buddha

2nd world buddhist conference, "Song of Auspiciousness" Buddhist opera in high-tech

Blond Brownies for an Abbot

2009-04-19T23:40:00.016-04:00

I met up with Qingqing yesterday, Sunday morning, and we went to Lu Li's house beyond the 4th ring road. Lu Li is a 40 yr. old Chinese wife/mother of two sons/M.D./businesswoman with sweeping interests- from the integration of Western and Chinese medicine, to business, medical research, handicapped children's education, and Buddhism. She lived in Canada for a number of years, and moved back to China in 2007. From what I can tell, she is now ambitiously multi-tasking jobs. Her main goal is to create a model organization primarily focused on women's education, but ultimately one that can grow to incorporate other marginalized groups to reinstill lost family values, and create a sense of real social responsibility, building Chinese civil society from the ground up. I had met her briefly in February when I was staying at a temple, she passed through only for an afternoon, but her relationship with Qingqing grew while I was out of Beijing in March, and by the time I returned, Qingqing told me she had big plans for the future, of which we were both to be a part of (although, I'm so far more of an extra, or a minor actor with a few lines ).

We ate lunch at Lu Li's house, which involved the usual questions directed at me, "are you used to eating this kind of food? Can you use chopsticks? We can get you bread next time if that's better?," and also the surprise whacks on the back from a stick (obviously in the suburbs, sticks?!) wielded by her fierce two-year-old son who is already a Chinese food connoisseur (he apparently likes to make requests for 馅饼). After lunch, we drove north of Beijing to visit the same temple I stayed at in February. It was much more pleasant this time around, nearly 2 months later and many degrees warmer, all the trees are in bloom and lily plants line the road leading up to the monastery.

Surprisingly, the abbot was in-house, and we were able to squeeze in for a visit after representatives from a television company had just left (he's also got big plans!). When we first went into the inner courtyard, the abbot was roaming around and we all just kind of stood, somewhat awkwardly, listening to him talk about the rude people who manage the road and entrance to the temple (even though we were with a nun when we tried to drive up, and the abbot gave the okay, the people at the bottom said absolutely no cars up on the weekend). Finally, we went inside and sat around a low table and drank tea.

The abbot was visibly exhausted and maybe a bit stressed, too. He's only in his mid-40s, and based on the 广告 advertisement photos and his photo on his blog (yes, that's right) that were probably taken within the past four years (the monastery complex opened 4 years ago), he looks like he's aged quite a bit recently. Creating new bases for sound establishment and expansion of Chinese Buddhism is a tough job, and he's been on it! Seven or eight people circled the table around him for tea, and the conversation followed his lead. After the hour or so, I was up-to-date on his schedule, activities, plans, stress levels, and learned that his favorite movie is The Thin Red Line. I also left with the sensation that I had just sat down to have tea with a (Buddhist) CEO rather than with a monk, but I suppose he's both?

I'm still thinking about a comment he said during our time with him. "第一我是和尚，第二我是佛教徒，第三我做事" First, I'm a monk, second I'm a Buddhist, third, I do things. He continued to say if blankblankblank isn't chan, then I shouldn't do it. Yet, he was referencing a 公益 public works program that Lu Li and he were discussing. I think this makes sense on the surface, yet this kind of thought-process may also be cause for the 腐败 corrupt aspects present in Buddhist monastic communities today in China. Additionally, this aims directly at the root issue of what is the purpose of a Buddhist monk in society today? If you're not 做事, then as a Buddhist monk, what do you do? Maybe I'm not up on the subtleties of 做事, and it's more just referencing worldly activities. If so, then compromise of being a monk for doing worldly things would lead to the abandonment of genuine Buddhist practice and the traditional duties of a monk, such as sutra recitation, memorization, and furthering one's own religious development. Yet, it could also be a considered a lazy cop out. None of this is to criticize this particular monk, because as reflected in his physical exhaustion he's been busy (then of course one could ask, is he too busy? too much involvement in worldly activities?). Also, when he said "if this isn't chan then I shouldn't participate.." Following what I've learned of Buddhist philsophy, chan understood expansively isn't just sitting, but acting, incorporating Buddhist teachings and mindfulness into every action and activity, so 公益 public works, if done with right intention and mindfulness, would certainly be considered chan. As Buddhists here seek to create new models, systems, and ways to both simultaneously serve society and propagate Buddhist teachings, it is striking a balance, and continuing to walk the middle path between devout religious practice and serving society that challenges the sangha, but is also the sole route for mainland China's Buddhist community to successfully flourish and gain a stronger foothold as a legitimate religious authority and meaningful contributor to civil society.

On Saturday night, I had made a batch of my godmother's amazing recipe of blond brownies, hollerrr. Since I had eaten a quarter of the pan at about 3:30am Saturday night, I decided to bring them to the temple Sunday morning. Why can't blondies be an offering too!? Qingqing told me in the car there that the abbot would love them. In addition to a love of Buddhist teachings, he also loves chocolate and all things sweet. However, Lu li is the pragmatic type, and scoffed at my humble offering. Although I was a little hesitant, I finally decided that the brownies would not be making a round-trip. So, when Lu Li was walking back down from the temple, Qingqing and I ran back and I handed them over to the abbot. To my dismay, they had lost their individualized brownie shape in the Ziploc bag in my backpack, and had turned into one large, glutinous, chocolaty mass. However the abbot happily received them, most likely the first brownie offering he has every received.

We walked down from the monastery, and came across Lu Li's friend, a businessman from Beijing. He drove us part way down the mountain in his black Audi, and we all got out to look at some property Lu li might be interested in buying. We walked into the mountains for about an hour, and finally came back down to the small village just as it was getting dark. We then ate dinner in a woman's house who had a small restaurant, if you could call it that. I was a little unsure about the sanitation of it all, but that obviously didn't hinder me much at all. The food was actually amazing- extremely fresh, simple ingredients, and I probably ate the best roasted almonds I've ever tasted. Only at around 8:30pm did we finally get back into Lu li's car to head back towards Beijing.

a donkey hanging out in the village where we ate dinner

In addition, to temple visits, I've also been really busy recently meeting with many lay Buddhists around Beijing (I'm just back from dinner with some tonight), and will report back on that shortly as well.

pirates and shanghai

2009-04-15T01:45:00.005-04:00

It still amazes me that in 2009, the world has pirates. However the episode makes Obama up on history in a new way. While the Vermonter was saved by the American sharp shooters, it was thousands of dolphins that yesterday saved a Chinese cargo ship from more Somali pirates. There has to be a hilarious cartoon coming out of that situation.

As for me, I'm finally back in Beijing. This time for awhile, hopefully. My first trip down to Shanghai this past week was fun, and at times felt like a trip outside of mainland China. The narrow, tree-lined streets of the former French Concession area where we stayed were pedestrian friendly, the air was warm, springy and breathable, and the food, really, really delicious. We spent a lot of time walking, saw some art exhibits, and saw John Legend in concert. Due to a day plus of rather nasty circumstances thanks to some street food, we didn't make it everywhere, so I'll definitely head back there when my long awaited friends arrive to visit the end of May! Additionally, if anyone's considering coming to China this year, don't delay, amazing deals from the east coast to Shanghai are available from now until the end of May! I'm finally loading more photos from my month of March of travels, the link is on the right to the albums.

John Legend in Shanghai; the best 草油饼 cao you bing in Shanghai, in a literal hole in the wall, yet so popular you need reservations for it

streets of Shanghai near art district

trip to tibet exhibit i.e. tibetan history, mad lib style

2009-04-14T06:22:00.019-04:00

About a week ago, I took a trip to the The Cultural Palace of Minorities between Fuxingmen and Xidan in Beijing. As a followup to my viewing of the Serf's Emancipation Day celebration on television on March 28th, I thought I would round out my re-education about Tibet with a trip to the national exhibit of "The 50th anniversary of Democratic Reforms in Tibet."

I'd actually only first heard of the Chinese version of Tibetan history a year or two ago while in college in the US. Previously, I had assumed the Chinese thought of how things went down in the '50s a little differently than how it was recounted in the US, but I had no idea it was considered an emancipation from slavery/serfdom. Based on all that I had studied and learned up until then, I first thought this Chinese account of history was completely ridiculous. Yet now that I've been living in the mainland, and have talked to many, many Chinese people, I feel a bit different about it. While I'm certainly not swallowing the information, and the exhibit was at times a little painful to view, both the telling and the reception of that history make much more sense. Why? Because, overall, just as was reflected in the exhibit, how the Chinese portray Tibetan recent history (with censorship) is quite convincing. They've made the history into a science, and in the exhibit, like any well-prepared science fair, have come with armfuls of numbers, statistics, graphs, photos, factoids, and even a conclusion! (I didn't know history exhibits could have a conclusion, that means of course, the exhibit was making an argument...)

The exhibit has received a good amount of press within China, news stories have especially focused on the acceptance and learning of foreigners through their visit to the exhibit, and even the Panchen Lama has visited! The photos below are a few I took at the exhibit. I couldn't help but giggle as I read quite a number of the captioned photos as they look so forcefully posed or completely taken out of context. I can just imagine Chinese sifting through archives of these shots, thinking up fitting stories, mad libs anyone?

Caption: Ceremonial Oaths to Build Roads to Tibet (I pick up this axe, and vow to dig to Lhasa!)

Caption 1: A 78-year old Tibetan calls for democratic reforms (that's really why her fist is in the air?) Caption 2: Impoverished lamas in XX Monastery read the news about democratic reforms in Tibet (They're impoverished, and literate! A miracle!)

Photo 1: The first time I've ever seen CCP leaders literally idolized and replacing the Buddha or other Buddhist religious figureheads, pretty odd!
Photo 2: A section was dedicated to unravelling the web of lies the western media spins

This exhibit had the clearest, most correct, and most elevated English translations I've encountered in China, and the 'Conclusion' was no exception.

For a comprehensive roundup of articles and pieces on Tibet recently, this article from the China Beat provides a full summary. Another article, also from the China Beat, provides another listing of recent English articles about Buddhism in Tibet and China.

signage in suzhou

2009-04-07T04:57:00.002-04:00

There are so many hilarious Chinglish signs I've come across since I've been in China. Here's one of my recent favorites from a Buddhist temple in Suzhou, in Jiangsu province:

commercialization of shaolin temple debate on cctv

2009-04-06T12:10:00.004-04:00

I came across an interview/debate in English fromCCTV9 about the commercialization of Shaolin temple. Shaolin is easily China's most famous temple, known for its propagation of gongfu or kungfu. I was very annoyed with the reporter by the time the debate was half over, but it's still worth watching just to see how the three people interact with one another. The reporter was consistently on the offense, interrogating about the commercialization of the temple, and practically mocking Buddhism and her interviewees. She asks questions somewhat odd questions such as, "What is really the financial situation for Buddhist temples in China?" "What's going on in the minds of the monks in Shaolin temple when they're texting messages all the time?" "Do they have time to search for their soul, for example?"

I was rather disappointed with the responses of Peter Shiao, the CEO of Interpond, and bigshot in the entertainment business. I'm not surprised he wants to make it seem that Shaolin is all Buddha and no business, since it's actually his business to sell them, and they'll sell better as Buddhists. Yet he goes so far as to compare the Shaolin monks to wandering Jesus, that they go where they're needed, and yes, according to Shiao, by golly these monks, "they're needed in reality shows." Apparently. Thank goodness for the redeeming insights of Venerable Jing Yin. It was kind of amusing that a guy in a suit wanted to defend the non-commercialization of Shaolin more than a monk, yet as the interview continued, Shiao was much more willing than Jing to support commercialization of temples in general.

Here is the clip

The 2nd World Buddhist Forum

2009-04-01T00:22:00.019-04:00

On my third day in Wuxi, I went up to Lingshan earlier in the morning to look around and again test my luck to enter the conference. Luckily this time, I fared much better. It seems that security-wise, people were most concerned that the opening ceremony went off without a hitch, or any disturbance. Now that that was over, my chances were better.

Brian and I met up at Lingshan, and we explored the different areas still open to tourists. We paid the very steep entrance fee, usually 150rmb (worse than the Forbidden City!), temporarily reduced to 103 because a section was closed for the conference. Lingshan is nothing short of a Buddhist wonderland. Only photos and video can do it slightly more justice. As I mentioned in the previous post, Lingshan is still relatively new, and in many ways, is marketed as a secular tourist site rather than as a Buddhist temple. While all around Wuxi, signs welcomed the participants of the Forum and celebrated the opening of the conference, many of these signs and advertisements for Lingshan did not particuarly emphasize that it was Buddhist. Instead it was about Lingshan as an emblem of Wuxi's development. On this sign, the forum's emblem is small, and about the same size as a a sponser? SNOW, one of China's breweries. Perhaps obviously what the Wuxi city government and Jiangsu provincial govt. cares about is that Lingshan contributes to the city's and region's economic development and potential future as a destination for tourists who would have previously skipped Wuxi for nearby Suzhou, the "Venice of the East."

Brian and I discussed the atmosphere of Lingshan as we were sitting next to the giant lotus fountain watching people simultaneously smoke cigarettes, feed doves, chat, listen to Chinese tour group leaders over megaphones, and occasionally prostrate in the direction of an expansive three-dimensional metal sculpture depicting the life of the Buddha. Usually when you visit a Buddhist temple, because of the intentional creation of sacred space for the purpose of devotion and religious practice, there is a change in atmosphere and a change in attitude of visitors somewhere between the outside world and the altar. While to some extent this was the case at Lingshan, it was a delayed shift, only occurring when you pass the big hand and Maitreya Buddha, and enter the final stretch leading up to the Grand Buddha. Even at that point, although there is incense, prayer, and when we passed through, a handful of old ladies chanting and monks prostrating, the space still exudes more of a wonderland aura as opposed to a let's get enlightened atmosphere. Is that because it is new and just doesn't have the history and layers of communally accumulated practice and worship? Or simply because most visitors are there to see a big Buddha for leisure and enjoyment rather than focused prayer?

One of the main issues that scholars researching contemporary Chinese Buddhism are grappling with is the relationship between the tourist, money-making side of Buddhism and that of Buddhist practice. How do these two aspects mix and what is their relationship? Many people today in China and in the US scoff at religiously based profiteering enterprises, and probably rightly so. Yet as to who is making the money and to what extent Chinese monasteries are still carrying on a pure form of the Buddhist tradition is not so black and white. While it is easy to see the excessive entrance fees at monasteries and Buddhist 'wonderlands' such as Lingshan and leap to the conclusion that many Buddhists are just out to make money, this is not necessarily the case. As was just reported in the news in the past two weeks, the monks at a monastery outside of Xi'an (one that I visited in October '08), Famen Si, recently protested the construction of another wall outside the monastery that would jack up entrance fees. The story is interesting, and the photos are pretty great too. The monks were reportedly successful in their efforts to stop the implementation of the new policies, showing that it is not the monks, but rather the government who reaps in the monetary profit and is often the actor who aspires to co-opt religion for monetary gain. Yet Lingshan is a different case, as all of the construction is recent, and there isn't exactly a pre-established Buddhist sangha in house to promote the teachings of Buddhism in the first place, at least that I know of. So are the Buddha statues, incense, and prayer wheels enough to make it legit? While the intended goal to construct Lingshan was profit for the government, does the intention matter as long as its continuing Buddhism in mainland China in some form?

Anyway, to return to how the day unfolded. I texted my Fulbright adviser mid-morning and told him I was at Linghan. He replied and told me to him at the gate to the Brahma Palace at 12:30. Brian and I watched the "Birth of the Buddha" performance at the fountain, and then trekked up to the Grand Buddha. At the base of the Buddha, there was a museum advertised as the largest exhibit on Buddhism in China, however it was more just spacious with not much substance, lots of replicas and photographs. We then took an elevator up through the giant lotus flower (how often can you say that?) to the Buddha's feet. With not much time to spare and a large distance to retrace back towards the Palace, we circumambulated the Buddha, snapped some photos, and went back down through the lotus.

We met up with Xuan Fang, my adviser, but unfortunately he only had one extra pass to enter. Brian had come with a group of monks from the monastery he researches, and the day before it seemed he would have a much better chance of getting in. Just shows that in China you never know how far or where the guanxi relationships will take you. I was only extremely lucky that Xuan Fang, a professor at Renda, is also one of the organizers of the conference and even a panel mediator at the portion in Taiwan.

When I was finally able to walk past the ten security guards at the outer entrance and proceed alongside hundreds of monks towards the Brahma Palace, I couldn't help but smile. This is what it's all about!
After going through security metal detectors, I was finally in. It was difficult to take in all that was happening around me, and everyone who was around me, as it truly was the powerhouses of Chinese Buddhism. I wish there was a Facebook for senior Buddhist monks or a "Who's Who in Chinese Buddhism" mug book, because I'd only know it was someone important when the press people would speed towards certain groups, and yet another tiny, smiley senior monk with an entourage would stream on by. At first I went into the main hall where it seemed there was a press conference taking place. When that was over, I tried (as I had to throughout the entire afternoon!) to orient myself in the massive conference complex. I first strolled through the exhibit halls, where monasteries from all over China had brought works of art or something to represent their monastery. There was also a nice photo exhibit on Buddhism throughout China. I then went to the lounge area, which was kind of my favorite part. Think rich mahogany chairs, fake bamboo, kitschy mini-statues, sky-lit hall filled with Buddhist monastics in every shade of robe from all over the globe lounging and chatting together. Ahh, an ad hoc senior Buddhist monastic networking sesh. It was pretty amazing.

When the afternoon panels were due to start, I walked around the perimeter of the 2nd floor hall past all of the options, and ultimately decided on "The Opportunities and Challenges Of Buddhist Education" as I'm rather interested in both the developments and changes in monastic education (because I think many are vastly undertrained) and how they are approaching lay Buddhist education as well. All of the speakers, likely according to conference regulations, presented pre-prepared speeches, each 6 minutes long. It seemed there was a deliberate effort to intermix Chinese and non-Chinese speakers, and there were translators in the back of the room, and headsets provided as many of the attendees could only understand English or Chinese. However, I was a bit mystified when a Korean monk presented a paper in Korean, and the translators didn't know Korean so there was no translation into Chinese or English, so only a handful of people in the room had any idea what he was saying. Hmm. Most of the papers were interesting enough, yet there was definitely a standout. A venerable from Hong Kong was impassioned in speech and deliberate and meaningful in purpose. He provided a research study report on curriculum design of Chinese Buddhist Institutions, and provided hard data and statistics about what was being taught to monastics, and argued that this data conclusively proved the monastic education system is in dire need of reform, on a large scale, and fast. He was asking very important questions, and at the core, trying to gear monastic education back towards service of society. He rhetorically asked how does one train a good quality sangha, and how do you define good? He was extremely forthcoming and at times quite critical of today's sangha (I was at first surprised to hear this kind of negativity and criticism of Chinese Buddhism at the conference, but then realized that although he might be more controversial, this kind of controversy is completely non-political, so the government would not really have qualms with it). He definitely intended to stick a knife into the egos of the monastic community, saying that monastics feel that the sangha is the greatest, and in essence the source of knowledge for the rest of society. However, the sangha in fact has a great deal to learn from society, and needs to be more humble and realize that if what is taught is not required by or not relevant to society, the sangha and Buddhism will become marginalized. He challenged Buddhists to think about what Buddhism can contribute to society, and how. All of these questions and issues are also in my mind extremely important, and how the Chinese Buddhist communities in the mainland and in the diaspora choose to handle them will undoubtedly determine the future of Chinese Buddhism.

There were two sessions in the afternoon with a delicious tea break in between. With seven and six presenters in each session respectively, there was only about five minutes or less at the end of each for open questions, that would be unheard of in the US! I really couldn't hear one of the questions asked by a Sri Lankan monk, it had something to do with leadership in Chinese Buddhism, but it was quickly stopped by one of the mediators, who said they couldn't answer the question because it had to do with national policy. I'm not sure if he answered that way because it really was that way, or because the attendee was asking about something more sensitive. Perhaps I'm just being overly American, and looking for controversy where there really isn't any. However, of the number of foreigners I spoke with that afternoon who were attending the conference, the majority did mention the presence of the Chinese Panchen Lama to me with a somewhat sidelong glance. Yet the participation of the Panchen Lama was, as one Norwegian attendee noted, the only real political aspect of the conference, which it seems was by in large in content, non-political. The Norwegian had also attended the 1st World Buddhist conference and told me that the Panchen Lama was much more active this time around. In 2006, he had only come for the opening, to give a speech in Tibetan. Yet in Wuxi, he gave a speech at the opening in English!, and stayed around to participate in one of the panel sessions on "Development of Buddhist Thought in Relation to doing Business," interesting choice! I was also able to get relatively close to him later in the day (though not quite as exciting as a hug from the DL)...

When the panel sessions ended, there was a short break and the delegates were then supposed to see the 'music opera in high-tech,' "Song of Auspiciousness." As I was leaving the panel discussions and about to go downstairs, I realized there was a wall of volunteers checking passes again to see the performance. There were multiple levels of passes, but as Xuan Fang had given me a pass to get past security but then taken it away to give to someone else, I was at this point pass-less. Uh-oh. I pulled the I don't speak Chinese white person thing, and said the pass was in my bag, then hurried towards the stairs, whipped out my scarf, wound it tightly around my neck, slipped on my jacket, picked up a program in the hallway, and then b-lined it for the performance hall behind other attendees. Whew. I will upload video of the performance whenever Youtube is allowed in China again (soon, I hope!). The whole thing was extremely impressive, probably the largest scale, most extensive, high-tech Buddhist-themed performance ever put on. The hall itself was also extremely beautiful. When I first saw it on TV the day before for the opening ceremony, it really looked like the Oscars for Buddhists, and the performance was also of Olympic size and caliber. While waiting for the show to start, I made some friends with security guards (as usual) and met some guys who founded a religious organization in Beijing, who I will definitely look up. Seconds before the performance began, the Panchen Lama was escorted in to watch, and sat about 50 feet away from where I was sitting in the back, actually the best place to watch the giant performance unfold.

After the performance was over, there was a giant buffet dinner. While Xuan Fang had originally told me I probably wouldn't be able to get into the nighttime activities, since I got into the performance, I decided to try my luck with the dinner. On my way up to the dinner, I met a nun from Switzerland in her late 70s, who said this was her 38th trip to China, her first was in 1957, wow! I had dinner and chatted with some other attendees before leaving the Brahma Palace and closing out on my conference experience. Since I wasn't an official attendee and all the public buses stopped running to Lingshan at 5pm, I had to pull a final kungfu move to get on a police-escorted bus back towards Wuxi.

Since this post is already long, I'll limit my other thoughts and analysis and write more later.

The "World" in the "World Buddhist Conference"
The conference was advertised as international, if not global, in scope. Yet through rather blunt observation of attendees, it is rather obvious it was not quite even. Apparently, the numbers of delegates are a 50/50 split between Chinese and foreigners, yet the definition of foreign really means not from mainland China. In addition, the delegates from places like Australia and Europe were mostly actually Chinese themselves. There was also a major emphasis on monastics and practitioners, with many fewer Buddhist scholars in attendance. During the session that the Panchen Lama participated in, the room was also basically only filled with Chinese people. For security reasons, I guess I understand that. However, perhaps the conference could have been more successful and open if more non-Chinese had participated.

Using Buddhism to Secure the Nation
In addition to the opening ceremony of the conference coinciding with Serf's Emancipation Day, the World Buddhist Forum tackles the two sensitive areas facing Chinese 'domestic' policy, Tibet and Taiwan. The Panchen Lama was the representative for China's autonomous region of Tibet, and the latter half of the conference was to take place in Taipei. I am curious to know how that portion was handled, in terms of security and publicity, and how it was received in Taiwan. Buddhism has a much stronger societal role in Taiwan, yet this conference might be the first instance where mainland Buddhism has come back over to Taiwan, as opposed to Taiwanese Buddhists coming to the mainland.

Wuxi, Day 1 and 2, Lingshan Background Info.

2009-03-29T08:25:00.018-04:00

Day 1: I arrived in Wuxi, the city hosting the 2nd World Buddhist Forum, on March 27th. With no official invitation, I had the expectation I'd be staring at the conference longingly from outside the heavy security. Thankbuddha, I was dead wrong.

I was rather exhausted from a sleepless night in a very smoky cafeteria car on the train, and decided to wait until the next day to venture up to the site of the conference, inLingshan, outside of the city center. Signs were plastered all over Wuxi- everywhere from the train station, to billboards, to taxis, and random corners that said in English and Chinese, "A warmfelt greeting to all participants of the 2009 World Buddhist Forum!"

Day 2: On the 28th, I woke up and watched the opening ceremony of the conference broadcast nationally across China on CCTV4 and in even in English on CCTV9. From the start, the tone and thesis of the forum was clear-cut and direct. Buddhism in China, and the ways it has developed and continues to flourish demonstrates that China is a peace-loving nation, and through Buddhism, China seeks harmony, and wants to work cooperatively with the international community. One of the key note speakers was the Chinese recognized 11th Panchen Lama (center of great controversy). In usual fashion, he read a speech (surprisingly, in English) straight from the mouth of the party. He directly expressed his gratitude towards the central government for the social stability China enjoys, and said China is a nation that wants to promote the mission of modern social progress... whatever that means.

As the P Lama finished up his speech, CCTV cut to the newsroom and used his speech as a segway to the other noteworthy story concerning Buddhism and Tibet that morning- the celebration of Serf's Emancipation Day! I took some good footage of what was on TV, which is kind of cool, because I doubt very little, if any, Western media caught the ridiculousness of the occasion in full (I'll upload it whenever Youtube is accessible again in China, we're cut-off for now!). First of all, is it not odd that no one here finds a paradox in making a seamless transition between the 2nd World Buddhist Forum (thesis: Buddhism promotes harmony and 'synergy') and Serf's Emancipation Day (thesis: land owners in Tibet aka Buddhist monasteries were tyrannical leaders and slave owners). Somehow in China, that transition is still logical. In the Lhasa celebration, each speaker represented a different happy liberated person- the farmer, the solider, the student, etc. Each person's speech followed the same structure, step 1) praise China and its progress, step 2) provide personal anecdote, step 3) say how things are great except that some people, notably the 'Dalai clique' still cause trouble, including their role in the riots launched last year, and their ongoing separatist activities, step 4) repeat how China is great.

I just kept wondering- what are all those people in the crowd thinking? And who was the intended audience for this? Chinese are taught this version of history from a young age, so they don't need reinforcement. Of course Tibet has had major material progress since the 50s, and there are grains of truth to some of the other lies, but to go as far as Serf Emancipation and the arrival of 'democratic reform..' let's get real here, this wasn't exactly Abe Lincoln style emancipation.

When I couldn't take anymore emancipation talk, I took the hour long bus up to Lingshan, the site of the Forum. I met up with Brian, the other Fulbrighter studying contemporary Buddhism, and we wandered around the fence, obviously not going to get any closer without paying the entrance fee to the open tourist sections or with official invite into the closed-off sections of the conference. Attempt 1: Failure.

Lingshan Background Info:

Lingshan (called on different signs, "Lingshan Buddhist Scenic Site" or "Lingshan Wonderland," notice how it is given rather secular names) was the site of the forum, and its construction and history is itself rather interesting. In China, there is a current law that states that if a Buddhist temple used to exist on a piece of land, and the land is no longer in use, someone may claim that land, and build a new temple. During the Tang Dynasty, the peak of Chinese Buddhism, there was not surprisingly, a temple where Lingshan stands. I still haven't gathered all the details on the construction of today's Lingshan complex, but like many projects of temple reconstruction, there was undoubtedly a mix of hope for accumulation of merit, pure devotion, and perhaps on part of the city or provincial government, a hope to create a first-class tourist destination.

Lingshan has an 88-meter standing Sakyamuni Buddha at the head of the complex, a 40,000 sq. m Brahma Palace conference hall, and a giant lotus fountain that boasts a 15-minute bathing the Buddha/birth of the Buddha performance. The whole complex is quite spectacular and impressive. The large Buddha was completed in 1997, the lotus fountain in 2003, and the conference hall, which was constructed especially for this forum, was just completed. According to what one participant from Wuxi told me, when all was said and done, Lingshan cost a total of 1.5 billion RMB, or around 220 million USD. This doesn't even begin to cover the costs of the conference, and based on all that I saw, was more than inconsequential.

Not surprisingly, many residents in Wuxi see the production of the conference and the costs as a parallel to the Olympics in Beijing. All efforts were made, no corners cut, costs were extraordinary, and who was it for, who does it ultimately benefit? One Wuxi resident I met on the train from Nanjing to Wuxi told me many residents use the 成语 or Chinese idiom, '劳民伤财’ 'waste money/manpower,' and also said people joked they had done so much in preparation for the forum, so '达赖来' Dalai (Lama) come!

For my other photos of Lingshan and the Forum, go here. More to come on after I got past security into the actual conference, and my thoughts on all that I observed, and if Youtube is ever unbanned, I'll post videos as well!

boats and trains

2009-03-27T02:38:00.010-04:00

Traveling with Chinese tour groups throughout China, as my recent experience down the Yangtze 长江 demonstrates, I probably saved some money and had a more 'authentic' Chinese travel experience, but in the process I also endured multi-front attacks on my lungs, eyes, ears, and occasionally, my sanity.

Cruising down one of the natural wonders of the Middle Kingdom, one of the cradles of China's civilization, you would think, just maybe, people would have a tad of respect. However that apparently went out the window along with the cigarette butts, orange peels, frequent loogees, and the occasional plastic bag. As in many developing countries, a lack of education about waste and environmental protection compounds with a general apathy, perhaps originally rooted in practical necessity, towards matters not directly related to one's immediate life. Add severe industrial waste output, and you've got the nasty state of China's rivers. The surface of the Yangtze and the surrounding landscape throughout the Three Gorges area is still quite stunning and well, gorges. I guess I wasn't all that surprised about the passengers, their behavior is standard in cities, more just disgusted to find it transplanted to the river setting. From uncovered hacking coughs, blowing of smoking, flicking of ash from the third floor rear outlook downwards towards my head on the second floor, to the constant invasion of personal space, it was at times a relief to watch the water and peaks pass by from our own cabin's window.

While the fellow passengers worked on my lungs and eyes and ethical upbringing, the tour guides strategically attacked the ears via voice, loudspeaker, and intercom. They occasionally provided some interesting stats, but for the most part, they played the role of a TV in China, always on, as background noise. Could there be a quiet moment to enjoy this rare still beauty in the P.R.C? Ehhhh, failure. Now of course, it wasn't all failure. We met some friendly folks who enjoyed drinking with young foreigners, and treated us to greasy boat food the following night. We created an uproar when following the only other foreigners- some unidentified Europeans, we refused to pay the outrageous fee to sit on the 3rd floor's open deck of a smaller tour boat. And of course, we made our own fun, and gorged ourselves on the food we brought.

(Photo of a temple the boat visited at 10pm at night, I don't really know why) In traditional Chinese style, Amy and I bought enough food before getting on the boat for our 2 night/3 day cruise (cruise used rather liberally here) to last us if stranded somewhere for many, many days. What's more amusing though, is that we ate all of it, every last crushed coconut pancake, cumin flavored taro chip and vegetable cracker. Needless to say, we had countless opportunities to use the multitude of variations of the word gorge.

On day three, we toured accessible viewing locations of the Three Gorges Dam, the largest hydroelectric dam in the world that was recently completed in October 2008. It was a hazy, foggy day, and although I couldn't make out the far edges of the new reservoir that the dam created, it was painful to imagine the 1.24 million people who had been displaced by the construction, and more horrendous to realize that at the end of it all, they were just forgotten. Along with peoples' houses and histories, archaeological and cultural sites were washed away. What does the CCP want people to remember instead? MACHINES! No joke, across from the dam, is a new park with green grass dedicated to cranes (the construction kind, not the bird variety that are endangered and whose habitat this project also destroyed), concrete dumpers, and back hoes. It's the first time I've ever come across a 'Memorial Park' dedicated not to people, but to metal. Just odd, really.

To round out my recent China travel, I took a train last night from Hunan to Nanjing, on my way to Wuxi. The issue was that no beds were available, but I had no other option. I had to book a hard seat in hopes of trading. Long story short, I stood squished against a conductor stand for 40 minutes in a hot train car with 50 other people in the aisle to see who would get the 17 remaining beds. I didn't make the cut, I was n.32, and rather than do the hard seat, I opted for the cafe car seat. So I spent last night curled over on a table as many workers and other chain-smoking passengers effectively hotboxed the cafeteria car. I need a China travel detox! Beijing has never seemed so clean.

shark fin soup

2009-03-21T00:49:00.002-04:00

This is just a hilarious video.. Somebody just really wanted shark fin soup!

Marching on

2009-03-20T21:12:00.012-04:00

In addition to personal updates, a lot has happened in the big world of China, so I'd like to share some noteworthy, and other just amusing stories

First of all, as in every corner of the globe, the economic recession is hitting China, and hard. People are worried about employment and growth rates, and especially anxious about the university grads of 2009 facing a bleak, if not dismal abyss of disappointment come diploma-retrieval time. Now talk is pretty much focused on softening the blow and lowering expectations. Examples are ubiquitous, such as this excerpt from the Financial Times:

"For many provincial governments the graduates' woes are presenting an opportunity, and some have been sending delegations to big cities to recruit graduates who are failing to find work elsewhere. At such an event held by the Ningxia government last weekend, close to 1,000 students lined up to apply for more than 300 mostly low-paid jobs in a region many of them would not even have considered moving to a few years ago.

Such is the case with the post Mr Xiao is interviewing for. The Communist party's Educational League sends lecturers around the country to "refresh the enthusiasm for socialism and spread Marxism-Leninism and Mao Zedong thought," says Gao Yadong, the Ningxia branch head. "A masters degree in philosophy and a patriotic mind" are the main qualifications for the job, which will pay about Rmb20,000 ($2,900, €2,270, £2,100) a year."

Conclusion- times are dire, the numbers are nasty, and a Masters in philosophy=infuse society with enthusiasm for Maoism and socialism, my classes at 人大 are starting to make more sense!
Yet James Fallows' article in the April issue of The Atlantic, "China's Way Forward," provides an optimistic and insightful look into China's current and likely near-future situation. In spite of how bad it could get in terms of short-term economic stats, Fallows reminds us again of the silver lining in China's unique case (that good 'ol 中国特色) and that the carefully architected modern economic engine China has crafted over the past three decades may shield it from repetition of historical precedents such as Soviet Union-style political disintegration or Japan-esque economic crash and burn. Proportionally, China plans to implement an even larger stimulus plan than Obama's. Fallows goes on to cite instructive examples of businesses in China who are using this time of weak competition as one to use innovation, and also as the NYT has reported, Chinese enhancements in product development will instead, help them get ahead. I agree with Fallows' assessment that this economic recession alone will not push all Chinese over the edge to mass civil disobedience or create total political and social upheaval. Many criticize local corruption and government before consideration that the national government is to blame. Also, it's a global crisis, Chinese know they're not the only ones taking the hit. While China's unemployment rates might suffer more than most, just look at recent Chinese history to know it's been worse, a lot worse. Localized unrest might rise in frequency, but it will likely remain that for now, localized.
The 17th Karmapa, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, usually considered the 3rd most important figure in Tibetan Buddhism, may be a hopeful candidate as conciliator between Tibet and Beijing. The BBC reported that the Karmapa hopes to work with Beijing in further talks in order to enhance relations and work towards a more autonomous, but not independent, Tibet. I had the privilege of meeting him when I visited India, almost five years ago now to the day. I wish him the best of luck on that, he was curious, courageous, and could hopefully become one of Tibet's future monastic leaders.
I sincerely hope that the unfortunate anniversaries in China this year pass without riots, violence, or death. There have been a few isolated cases of self-immolation and car bombings. Tibet's March 10th, 50th anniversary of invasion/liberation (depending on who you talk to) passed without major incidence. Hu had of course majorly increased security (including the current ban against foreign tourists and journalists from entering Tibet) and encouraged all Chinese to build Great Wall (yet another) against separatism. Earlier this year, China decided to make their version of history more official through creation of a national holiday, Serf's Emancipation Day, a name so ridiculous it's almost funny until you remember that people seriously consider it a peaceful liberation. I hope Tibet will reopen before the summer so I will have an opportunity to visit while over here this time.
On a lighter note, I'm a big fan of the rather obscene but hilarious recent internet phenomenon to hit China, poking fun at the gaps of Chinese censorship through the use of an alpaca-like creature (my favorite!), it's pretty obscene, but hilarious, and appreciable with a little background reading from the NYT. There are children chorus renditions, rap, and some straight-up ballads.

HK and Macau

2009-03-20T19:22:00.009-04:00

I am finally returning to the web world, after a rather extended hiatus. I am still outside of Beijing traveling, but at least for today, have aan extended period of time before the next leg of my journey to make some updates, and update myself on the goings of the world that I've missed out on.
I spent the first week of March in Hong Kong and Macau at the mid-year Fulbright conference, making it the half-bright? We were ushered from discussion table to dim sum and back around again. The 60+ Fulbrighters from mainland China joined forces with the small cohort conducting research in Taiwan, and the even smaller two or three from Macau and HK. In spite of the long hours and the damp, cramped dorms that made me ill for a few days, it was great to reconnect with the Fulbrighters scattered all over China, and to hear about the progress of their research.

With the majority of my Fulbright still ahead of me, having the mid-year only at my less than one-third year mark was probably a blessing. Senior researchers and China region scholars lectured, reminding us newer to the field of independent field research about some important, but often forgotten elements about research, such as a) don't assume you know the answer or even the question to ask; b) we always have a research bias based on one's cultural background; c) try to find balance between cynical critic and sinophile, either extreme will get you no where; d) accept to learn what is available to you, you can't force what you want to learn or research; e) research will be skewed by who you don't talk to, especially in the Chinese medium, this may mean more interviews of towards educated people, who speak a more comprehensible standard of putonghua; f) think about what you are giving back to the community you are researching/working with; g) how can you consolidate your research/work towards a final product or project to present your research, and what would that look like- a paper? an article? a movie? (because, as a recent grad Fulbrighter, we have ZERO official requirements as per final production).

Throughout the conference, we met some bigshots, toured a bit around, and as one highlight, the Consulate General hosted a buffet/open bar for us at his house at the Peak, overlooking HK's impressive night skyline. During the conference in HK, we were sequestered off in the New Territories, literally in a mountain retreat, over an hour from anything. Probably a smart move on their part to keep us focused. After the conference, Amy and I stayed on in HK a few extra days in the city center. Coming from mainland China, even from Beijing, I was impressed, if not overwhelmed by all that Hong Kong had to offer, especially in the book stores and grocery stores. No censorship! So many books on China! No great firewall! City's Super (fooood)! Tom's of Maine toothpaste! Maya Gold chocolate! Cranberry juice! I even found a Teuscher's chocolate stand. I also couldn't get enough of Macanese egg tarts, dim sum and mango desserts, and the amazing rooftop bars 10s of stories up that populated the downtown district. I love one country, two systems! And of course, I found some time to visit one of the larger temples in HK as well. Photos to follow.

Chinese Security

2009-02-23T06:30:00.003-05:00

The face of Chinese security.

For the Olympics, the Beijing subway system instituted a security system. If you are carrying a bag when you enter the subway, you slide it through the conveyor belt. No weapons, including guns and knives allowed. A bleary-eyed guard sits on the other side and scans the screen for suspicious objects, supposedly.

Although many of the Olympic regulations are no longer in effect (greyjing is back), Beijing has kept the subway security system in place. In November, I took the subway to move some luggage, including some kitchen supplies a friend had given me. It hadn’t even occurred to me that in one of the bags stuffed in a towel next to the toaster were two large, sharp kitchen knives. I was already down the escalator, approaching the security check, too late. I threw the bag on the pulley, and it glided right on through. Sandwiched between purses and backpacks, the guard didn’t even blink or look up. Security isn’t so tight after all. I guess I should’ve suspected that, given an experience I had earlier last fall…

When I went to the Paralympics in September of last year at the Bird’s Nest, we fought crowds in the thousands just to get through the security check. Finally, our group of eight or nine realized there was a speedier way— through the “no-bag” line. The one hitch was that two of us, girls obviously, had giant bags. We emptied out all the contents, (lord knows why I brought not just one, but two hair brushes with me that day) cameras, water, wallets, etc. into the boys’ short pockets. The other girls’ bag was also stuffable, but mine was definitely not. Finally, our friend wearing an American flag on his back grabbed my bag, threw it over his neck and hid it behind under the flag. No problem, not sketchy at all. The security guard poked at his neck in curiosity, shrugged, and let him pass by.

It’s not that Chinese security is a joke, necessarily; it’s more just that many guards are under trained and overworked, and ultimately 无所谓 apathetic. Furthermore, to state the obvious, Beijing has a hella lot of people. I’ve started to play a simple little game on the subway—I yawn, and see how many people yawn in response. Conditions are ideal when the subway is packed, I’m kind of exhausted so the yawn is authentic, and there are lots of curious 农民 country people who haven’t seen many 外国人 foreigners, and so they stare at me. It can be entertaining to see who and how many I can get at once; I recommend it for those long rides from end of line 10 to the other. But I digress, back to security.

More fascinating, and much more dynamic than Beijing’s security infrastructure are the security guards 保安 themselves. They hail from all over China, and many are young (18-early 20s), male, and came to the capital to seek higher wages and better prospects. Amy and I have befriended a few since moving into our apartment, and from time to time, we hang out. We blew up firecrackers together during Chinese New Year We, eat noodles together, and have had them up to our apartment after they’re off work to eat, watch TV, chat and drink.

Despite the fact that their wages might allow them to send some money home, conditions are not great. The forty or so young 保安 guards who work at our large apartment complex all sleep in the same room in a basement. They work eight-hour shifts without a break, during which they aren’t allowed to sit down or eat. If they need to use the bathroom, they have to walkie-talkie for a replacement. They stand outside of the entrances or inside of the unheated, drafty first-floor lobbies of each building. With Beijing winter temperatures below freezing, and a wind that often mercilessly howls and whips around the buildings, it is rather 辛苦. They are required to scribble down each delivery made, the apartment destination, time arrived, and time departed, good to know we are pretty secure after all. The company provides them with meals, but rarely with meat. Oftentimes, they aren’t allowed to leave their quarters after they’re off work, even if that means it’s 11pm and they haven’t eaten.

Overtime, our friendship with Wang and Yang, the two guards who we’re better friends with, has gotten more casual and less forced, if not more complicated. Details aside, I will note that it’s seriously challenging to develop genuine friendships with people whose backgrounds are so wildly different from your own, people your age who have never had a chance to receive an education beyond middle school, and who live a reality that in many respects I will never be able to grasp because I have not lived anything like it. Even if my Chinese were worlds better, the vastly different cultural verbal and non-verbal cues sometimes mix like oil and water. Phrases, translations, gestures, and responses become completely lost, or worse, misinterpreted, on the receiving side. In spite of what gets lost though, there is so much more to be gained. Whatever mess gets made in the process, we always have fun.

this is not too flattering of anyone, we didn't realize Wang was filming, and we had this thing where I'd pretend to scare him

we tried to teach them gangster hand signs, they couldn't seem to get it, and went back to watching the awful Chinese soap opera style classics on TV, dreadful stuff

road bike

2009-02-21T13:10:00.000-05:00

I've hit bike number three of my Fulbright year, and in only 2 months, oops.

I hope that three is the final one, and it better be! Because this one is a beauty. There's no great story of crash and burn or theft about the second bike, it was more just a growing resentment towards it after the gears stopped shifting, one of the brakes snapped, and the seat was at least six inches too short, but nonadjustable because the metal had warped. The bike and I weren't compatible, and as much as I enjoyed its shocks (and saying 'SHOCKS' every time I bounced down a curb), my love for the blue beast inappropriately named "Smart" ended there. It will be sold on the cheap asap.

My new bike yet again came from far, far away, 26km/17m from my apartment to the northwest. I located a place that sold bikes online, and decided to make the journey on Saturday, as it was a mild and relatively pollution-free day. I took line 10 to the end, and then a taxi, and then called the shop to figure out where it was. Behind a metal door spray painted '自行车 bicycle,' were bikes of all shapes and sizes already, or in the process of being assembled. I got my new road bike and sped off across Beijing.

I went literally from one end of Beijing to the other, except I took a more scenic route
through the city, biking on the ring roads is so boring, and the buses are scary!

I stopped near 东直门 for a sandwich, but realized I had no lock with me, so I asked a security guard to look after it while I went inside to buy lunch. I came back out five minutes later, and realized seven pairs of eyes were on my bike. All the guards on duty at the building the cafe was located in were leaning over from their post eying it. When I came out they said to me, 'wow, 那么漂亮！how beautiful!' and all gave me wide-eyed smiles and thumbs-up. I really appreciate living in Beijing at times like that- how many capital cities in the world could you genuinely trust a guy to watch over a new bike, and then get greeted by smiling faces upon your return? Not many. Contrary to what many Americans might think of China, it really is one of the safer countries to live in (small, petty theft aside), especially of the developing countries.

Here are some other sights I saw on my way home by bike, which one is real?!

(fake) snow days

2009-02-19T09:30:00.001-05:00

For the first time this winter, Beijing is blanketed in snow.

view out my window

It was almost beautiful, until it got sloppy and wet, and then I found out that the natural beauty, wasn't actually natural at all. Just as the government has wielded the power to clean the air through creation of precipitation (i.e. '08 Olympics), so it also has created a 3-day snow storm to end the four month drought plaguing northern China, all thanks to silver iodide.

China boasts the world's largest cloud seeding system, and weather modification is just another facet of the countless ways China interferes with nature. It still surprises me that the official governmental news agency, Xinhua, reports about this so casually, as if shooting silver iodide to make it snow is actually natural. I'm sorry Xinhua, even if you make it sound normal, it's still compltely bizarre.

好久没听到我自己的脚步声

2009-02-15T23:16:00.021-05:00

好久没听到我自己的脚步声
“It’s been a long time since I’ve heard my own footsteps”

Within a small carved out bowl of earth in the mountains north of Beijing, not far from un-restored sections of the Great Wall, is a small, but growing Buddhist community. The temple is presided over by a prominent leader in the Chinese Buddhist Association. I made my first visit (likely of quite a few) to the area this past week, where I spent five days living in one of the complex’s five sections, Xitian Nunnery. With only two or three full-time nuns living at Xitian, and a small stream of lay practitioners who come and go, it is small, basic, and intimate. There is no running water, and no heat. As it is still verifiably winter in northern China, it was a little 辛苦 as the cold was persistent and inescapable, but it was more bearable with layers, blankets, and an electric blanket at night.

I was introduced to the temple through my Fulbright adviser, who recommended it as a good place to visit not far from Beijing. He described the temple to me as not of the 传统, traditional variety, but somewhat more vaguely what as the 别类, “other type or variety.” Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately (?), I visited the temple while the master was out of the country. On the negative side, I’m still not sure what “standard protocol” is when the master is in-house. But on the flip side, I was very much up in the action, and perhaps that might not be the case if the Master was around. I went without much of a plan, as I did not know what to anticipate, what they would consider me as, how would they treat me, and how could I develop relationships with the people I met. Yet my role as a 旁观者, observer, seemed to work out just fine for this first visit.

nuns chanting

In some of the traditional or more rigid monasteries I’ve visited, residents follow a strict, if not extreme schedule. Residents wake up somewhere between 4-5am and the structure in their lives— every action and every moment of their waking hours (and for the more spiritually developed ones, sleeping hours) is fully and solely dedicated to the practice of mental cultivation and progression along the Buddhist path. There are few irregularities or changes in schedule, and little time for relaxation. Life at Xitian is 轻松自在, relaxed, and that’s an understatement. Wakeup is at 6am, much more reasonable, and many activities seem to be encouraged rather than compulsory. During my five days there, I would confidently guess that I spent more time around low tables drinking tea, chatting, and eating 小吃 snacks and nuts than in 打坐 meditation. The nuns and lay visitors were informal, welcoming and open to me. Which variety of environment is more conducive to a Buddhist lifestyle is hard to say, however I enjoyed the sense of community and camaraderie that is evident at Xitian.

Perhaps my greatest surprise at Xitian was that I was actually able to learn as much about the temple and its residents in such a short time as I did. My adviser has suggested I spend longer periods of time at these monasteries, as the true colors will only reveal themselves slowly, after people stop treating me as a guest, and I instead fade into the background of normal activity. Yet within just five days, they already became indifferent to my presence, at least in some respects, which greatly worked to my advantage. Yet in spite of all that I did see, I’m sure there is still a world below that complex surface, and it will indeed require a more prolonged investigation to reveal the deeper elements at work.

meditation in Xitian's main hall

The master only opened the complex in 2007, which accounts for the number of younger, newer monastics. With this comes the reality that many of the monks and nuns have less experience, and have more emotional and psychological baggage from worldly life. This became rather apparent, rather quickly. For example, a 24-year-old monk from Anhui province who only left home three or four weeks earlier, was the only full-time resident at the temple while the master was away during my stay. He showed me pictures on his cell phone of traveling he had done last year throughout China, and from what I gather, he still has yet to breakup with his girlfriend, woops.

My first afternoon there coincided with the final day of 春节, Spring Festival, so there were festivities at the top of the hill. My new friend, Qing Qing, a 22-year-old girl from Hunan, lead me up the hill to see the larger temple. Yet as we approached its entrance, groups of nuns and monks were descending down the long set of stairs. We joined them to walk back down to Xitian. Some bellowed out Buddhist hymns, and their voices resounded all the way up and down the mountain. We all went to sit in Xitian’s 大堂, main prayer hall, around a table to drink tea and eat snacks. In my 旁观者 observer status, I listened to their conversations, fielded questions, and asked questions of them. They were all relaxed, informal, and some, rather giggly. Most of the nuns were young, and had only very recently 出家 became a monastic. The most elderly nun of the group, a 64-year-old named Long Shi, will actually be my 同学 classmate this spring, at 人大 Renmin University, where I start classes next week. Long Shi, is full of energy, vigor, and many interesting stories. Another night at Xitian after dinner, she and I had a conversation about Chinese classics and the books she read when she was younger, such as Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, and Goethe.

Li Guang is the nun I have had the most contact with, and throughout my stay, more of her story and personality revealed itself. As with many of the monastics I met there, she only 出家 became a monastic recently, one year ago. In fact, my first night there, eight of us sat around a small table in the new makeshift kitchen at Xitian after dinner and sang happy birthday to her, it was her birthday and also one-year anniversary of becoming a monastic. Yet her earlier life was not far behind. She had lived in Beijing, and was a successful businesswoman, owning her own company that sold, as far as I could tell, handheld walkie-talkie devices. As others told me, she owned two large houses in Beijing, and by all measures, had it all. Yet, she said she found this life unsatisfying. She became interested in Buddhism, began spending more time in temples, speaking with monastics, and learning about the principles of Buddhism. Eventually making money, her business, and even her family were no longer of interest to her.

Li Guang relaxing, Li Guang (on her cell phone) and I in front of the temple's entrance

When she became a nun, she had already gone through a divorce, and left two daughters behind, ages 15 and 23. However, the 15-year-old daughter was just on her mother’s heels. Soon after her mother became a nun, the younger daughter also decided that 出家 was the path for her. In Li Guang’s small room on top of the ceramic Buddha statue next to her bed sit two photos, one of her older daughter, who is currently pursuing a career in acting in Beijing, and of the younger daughter, posing confidently in front of a fountain with her arms crossed, head shaved, in the attire of a new nun. Since Li Guang is comfortable in the role as a mother, and I am just one month older than her elder daughter, her relationship with me was also maternal. She looked after me to make sure I also ate more than enough, was warm enough, clutched my arm down stairs in the dark etc. She took me under her wing, and acted like I had been there for years. We lounged together in the nuns’ quarters at Si Zhong, the large hotel converted into meditation center that the master had also recently acquired, and she would roll around on the tatami mats up at the main complex, texting people on her cell phone. Up the hill one morning when we came to 手续 clean things up, Li Guang passed out for a morning nap on the floor, waking to tell us about her crazy dreams.

Li Guang also has a more aggressive, down-to-business side to her. Because of her previous success in business and management, the master has given her greater responsibility, and she in effect manages the temple’s money flows and contact with important visitors. Perhaps it is also her sales background resurfacing, but she’s all about trying to convince people, including me, to convert to Buddhism, or to even 出家, become a monastic. Qing Qing joked that Li Guang would probably come to her room while she was sleeping and cut her hair off. Li Guang persistently told me that the next time I came back when the master was back, I could 归依, convert (so as to note, I am not Buddhist). She seemed to throw the idea of 出家 around rather freely, if not carelessly, seeming to suggest that any person, at any stage of their life, should make this decision. At one point I asked her if she thought everyone should convert and 出家 become a monastic. She used a rather amusing, but perhaps worthwhile argument. She said that especially in China, where the population problem creates serious job shortages, and there are quite enough people out there in the world running businesses and making money, China right now has many, many empty temples and monasteries, that could be filled, with people instead doing good and practicing Buddhism. She has a point. However, they should not be filled just to have warm bodies draped in robes. This would in fact do a disservice to Chinese Buddhism. This is a much larger issue though, which I will return to in a later post.

Days at Xitian were filled with basic tasks like cooking and cleaning, and with fewer people and fewer mouths to feed, the pace was slow, and the environment, relaxing. I spent a few mornings in conversation with one of the lay visitors, a man from the local area who was more genuinely curious about my life, and life in the US as it really is than anyone I’ve met in long time. Another overnight visitor was Li Guang’s elder daughter’s boyfriend, who came for her birthday (again, some details and whys are missing there). Also an actor in Beijing, he had some serious pent up 困难, suffering. I tried not to take it as a personal attack when he said, “外国人无法了解中国人，在世界上没有别的国家有中国人口问题，我们的压力更大，我们的责任更多。美国人没有什么压力，你们没有任何问题。” “Foreigners have no way of understanding Chinese people, there is no other country with our population problem, our stress is greatest, our responsibilities are most numerous. Americans have no stress, you have no problems.” While he has a point that the Chinese population issue coupled with responsibilities, especially to one’s parents, create unbelievable competition and stress for Chinese youth, it still made me rather annoyed to hear this kind of one-sided appraisal of Americans, which is just downright wrong. I believe it is only a reflection of his own personal issues, which I hope during his short stay at Xitian, he was perhaps able to see more clearly. For many who live in Beijing and in “the world,” a trip to Chaoyang Si is a respite, and maybe even eye-opening. He said, “好久没听到我自己的脚步声” “It’s been a long time since I’ve heard my own footsteps.” Probably because A) Beijing is so loud and busy all the time; and B) we never stop to listen and focus on anything so simple. Perhaps if we did this every once in awhile, other elements in our lives would also come into clearer focus.

I should note that these conversations with residents and visitors during this entire stay seriously tested my Chinese. Although it didn’t dampen my ambition, it was a constant reminder of how much I still have to learn. Daily tasks and light conversation are manageable, however diving into deep analysis over Buddhist principles and personal histories are still not at all. For anyone seriously studying Chinese, I 100% recommend Pleco Dictionary. I have a hand held electronic dictionary that I can’t really imagine living without, it became an extension of my body at Xitian. It was extremely frustrating to think I was missing out on stories or aspects I still just don’t have the vocabulary for, but it can only come with time.

I also gathered some amusing anecdotes, here are a few A) A senior monk went into Beijing last week for the day to see the new Red Cliff movie. He also brought back pizza for everyone, vegetarian of course. B) Qing Qing told me about a 22-year-old monk (a male) who spent two days straight intensely focused on a 3”x3” cross-stitching project. He couldn’t be moved to eat or meditate, kind of adorable, kind of hilarious. C) A fifteen-year-old girl was also recently sent to the monastery for a week because she eloped with her boyfriend, and her parents wanted to knock some sense into her. She spent the whole week moping.

the awkward 3 hours, can you see it on his face on the left? Qing Qing in the red, Li Guang serving tea, 3 monastics on the far side as persecutors

My last night at Xitian was a bit more exciting than I would have anticipated. In addition to two lay residents’ personal issues very publicly unraveling themselves over dinner at Si Zhong, the large meditation center, I unknowingly entered into a three-hour saga on the mountaintop. From 8 to 11pm, I sat with six monks and nuns and Qing Qing. Unkowingly, three of the monastics had come with an agenda, to straight up tell Li Guang that 大家, everyone, wants her to 退休 retire, or move to another monastery. The exchange was intriguing, but also unfortunate, and quite awkward. The one other nun in the group was most forward, accusing Li Guang that she had other motives, other issues, and it would be in everyone’s interest for her to leave, ASAP. She asked why she controlled everything, could they all see who was coming and going to Xitian, where was money coming from? One of the monks prodded her over and over, although you say you’re relaxed, are you really 自在 relaxed, are you really, really? On the surface, Ru Jie remained calm. She responded that they could bring up the matter as soon as the master returned, and if that was what everyone wanted, she would accept it, and move on. She only became slightly defensive at times, or accusatory of the other nun, then that nun would rebut with, 'or I can leave,' and then Li Guang would say, 'no, no, I’ll just go, it’s fine, 什么都会接受,' I can accept anything, everything. All the while, two other monks apparently uninvolved in the scandal, Qing Qing, and I sat drinking tea. The conversation would change, someone would tell a story, or break into song, but inevitably it would return to the unfortunate topic of Li Guang’s status at Xitian. The night ended unresolved, and awkward.

the digs of the master, not too shabby

Qing Qing explained to me when we were finally back in our room that she was aware of this tension because some are unsatisfied with how Li Guang manages things—tightly, and without delegating any responsibilities. The master returns to the temple today, and although I am now back in Beijing, I luckily have Qing Qing there as eyes and ears to let me know the 结果 the result of how it all ends up, at least for now.

Human nature has a tendency to build individual egos into hard shells in order to define the "me" and delineate the "me" from the "you" or the "them." We spend our lives building, defining, and defending this ego. We will defend this ego with our bodily lives, and it is nearly impossible to dismantle, yet this is what the Buddhist path challenges one to do, break it back down. Easier said than done. In an age when the Buddha’s dharma is not only transmitted through mantras, but also via text message, it is still these most basic, fundamental issues of human nature and interpersonal relationships that deserve the most analysis, are the most trying, and in the end, regardless of if you're in the US or China, in a monastery or on the street, still matter the most.

a cat found its way into the prayer hall, one of the few milder places at Xitian in the winter; Xitian's makeshift kitchen, Tianxi's courtyard

big plans for the future; me at Xitian's gate, Xitian's kitchen

sichuan quake was man-made?

2009-02-06T06:49:00.006-05:00

It seems like the government could have a real issue on their hands soon. Not infrequently, the CCP commits 'forgivable' sins, a little corruption here, a little there, but it's all okay while growth rates remain high and stable, and economic progress is tangible. However, more recently the non-forgiveables have been piling up. Milk scandal anyone? When one's children are in danger, that's nothing to be messed with.

Now it could get worse if this one is true/gains traction. What happens when a government-sponsored project may have caused modern China's greatest natural (or not-so-natural) disaster? Recent investigations as reported in the NYT and the Daily Telegraph now speculate human meddling (or more specifically, the construction of a reservoir over a seismically unstable area) may have directly caused the Sichuan earthquake that killed 80,000+ people on May 12, 2008. That's a big problem.

And the government has quite enough problems to deal with in 2009- i.e. rapid growth in unemployment rates and the social unrest it may provoke, some anniversaries that would rather be forgotten. As the stability of the CCP's regime largely rests on the economic progress of the nation, it seems that the global financial crisis in 2009 may let some people's minds wander to other concerning social elements right now. For now, we will have to just wait and see if anything will reach the boiling point.

However, just as many issues are spun (cue Tibet's "liberation" from serfdom), it is also likely that any reporting will fail to rally widespread response from within China. The story is already getting press from within China as just another example of the bogus Western-media's propaganda and anti-China hue. Obviously unlike China's oh-so truthful media, foreign media is often blamed for weaving webs of lies. I asked a Chinese friend last night if she had heard of the story, and she too shrugged, shook her head, and blamed the foreign media. Who knows, whether or not there is sufficient evidence may have no correlation to the reaction it stirs. And now that it is almost 9 months after the quake, that is after all, what ultimately matters.

green tea-rex

2009-02-05T11:59:00.002-05:00

Some day, I will open a store, or a restaurant, or a cafe, or write a book called Green Tea-Rex. You can hold me to it.

durian

2009-02-04T07:56:00.005-05:00

Some things in this world were just never meant to exist.

Mosquitos. MSG. Those annoying squeaky shoes that small children wear.

Another shining example to add, that in fact could be the poster child for this category, is durian. Prior to coming to China, I had never crossed paths with this infamous fruit. While browsing through Chinese supermarkets, I had definitely noticed durian's odor wafting through the produce section and its intense exterior, but wasn't just go to buy a whole one in order to test it out (they're usually a few kilos each). I'm generally a fruity person, I enjoy the range of fruits (with the small exception of papaya, gross) and don't discriminate against sweet, tart, juicy, crunchy, punchy, chewy, or sticky. But with durian, I have to put my foot down. It is just foul. Some say it tastes like heaven, some say it tastes like dirty socks. My first tasting experience of durian was also, hopefully, my last. Amy and I came across a stall that specialized in durian pancakes, and as neither of us had ever tried it, we thought we'd give it a go. Big mistake, some things I really would rather leave up to the imagination, because this was worse. As soon as I bit into it, I panicked, where's water, a napkin, a trash can?

we give durian pancake two thumbs down

So based on my experience, I'd say it kind of tastes like something crawled into a hole, then died, then sat there for a few weeks ago, then it was smushed, and put into a pancake. Mmmm mmm. Unfortunately, durian resurfaced into our lives a few days ago when it snuck into a dessert pastry we ordered at a Hong Kong restaurant in Harbin. Luckily for me at least, Amy was the first to chomp into it. I looked over at her as her face contorted and soured. She chewed slowly, painfully, and groaned "duriannnnn." Now I know the Chinese for it so that mistake will not be repeated.

Lesson learned- it was perhaps not curiosity that killed the cat, but durian. Stay away, far, far away.

a sign in the Singapore subway, no durian allowed!

Happy Niu Year!

2009-01-27T02:27:00.007-05:00

The year of the Ox has arrived in China, and spending Chinese new year in Beijing has been a loud experience.

On new year's eve, my roommate Amy and I were invited to join my landlord and his family out to dinner and participate in post-dinner festivities. With 9 or 10 family members gathered to eat, we feasted on everything from sea cucumber to fish to chicken, pork, and lamb. The meal was of course paired with the unfortunate beverage, 白酒, rice wine, otherwise known as the drink of the devil. Toasts went around, and around, and around again. Soon we both felt woozy and nasty, and the liquid went straight to work with the sole purpose of burning holes in our stomach linings. As I was the token white person, I was coddled and praised about my Chinese (lies) and encouraged to practice English with the daughter and teenage cousin who were also at the table. After the food/baijiu coma set in, we were driven back to their house in the far east of Beijing. We played mahjong, and although I had played a few times at Middlebury over the summer, I was just a bit rusty, and still owe Amy some money. After mahjong, we all went outside and contributed to the mass quantities of fireworks exploding all over the neighborhood. Since fireworks are outlawed for the rest of the year, everyone in Beijing takes full advantage over the holiday to blow them up all hours of the day and night (sleeping has been slightly difficult recently). We were finally driven back home to finish off the night with our own sparklers and 鞭炮, firecrackers.

Beijing has been exploding in firecrackers and fireworks for the past few days now. While the most spectacular time was of course around midnight of new year's eve, any hour day or night seems to be fair game. From our apartment windows, we looked out from our building to the north and east of Beijing to see colorful explosions everywhere we looked, all the way to the horizon.

In the morning, after pulling on my new red underwear and red socks (because I'm year of the Ox), I biked a few miles north through the empty streets of Beijing to 雍和宫 Lama Temple. It was a perfect day to bike- no pollution, mild temperatures, and best of all, it was likely the one day each year of 没有堵车, no traffic! It was eerily quiet in some areas, and I loved it. After biking for 45 minutes through empty streets, I was a little bummed when all of a sudden, the sidewalks were packed, and it was back to weaving through parked and idling cars. I realized all the madness was for the Lama temple, which was still quite a few blocks north, and then I was stopped altogether. Hordes of people crowded the streets to form a large line, Chinese style, within the police blockade. I locked up my bike, and asked a security guard if there was anyway around. He suggested I jump through some bushes and try to go around the side. So, I did, but encountered the roadblocks from every possible entrance. No passing go, no exceptions. Even the people who lived in the area encountered problems just trying to get home.

The crowds lined up in the thousands. The police separated the lines, and every few minutes they would allow the next group to continue to inch closer to the temple, people would run and scramble to get ahead in despite of the police with the loudspeakers telling them to walk slowly. The police who I spoke with told me that people had started to come line-up at 4:30am.

After standing across the street watching the line and talking with the policemen and other people around, I crossed over and joined the line. I spoke to those in line around me, which was easy since most people were rather curious what a foreigner was doing there. Many of those I spoke to said they come every year on the first of the lunar new year in order to pray or 拜佛. One man noted that before it was mostly older people, but now many younger people also come on their own. He continued to speculate that the numbers were maybe even greater this year because the economy is not well, and people seek inner stability (心里的安慰). Only after a little over an hour did I finally make it inside the gates to buy a ticket and finally inside the temple.

One of the entrances to the halls, the thousands of visitors in a bottleneck to offer incense and prayers.

Visitors in the hall of the temple's largest attraction, a 26m Buddha carved from one piece of sandalwood. And below, self-explanatory.

Obviously, the Lama Temple is not your typical temple, and the 26th was not your typical day. However, for many who are in Beijing for the lunar new year, celebrations are not complete without a trip to the temple, and for 2009, year of the Ox, I can say I passed it with the masses. 新年快乐，万事如意！

mapping where i've been recently

2009-01-27T01:00:00.001-05:00

View Larger Map

tea time in the north (of beijing)

2009-01-24T00:18:00.001-05:00

On the night before I took off on my adventures south for 2 weeks, I met up with my adviser in a tea house near his home, the farthest point of northern Beijing accessible by subway, line 13. Miles from the city center, the area was more of a barren wasteland. With wide open roads and few cars, I would've thought I had landed in some other world if it weren't for the many Chinese people loitering around, and the token oddball I passed, this one was out for a walk, a walk backwards that is.

My professor was running late, and so after finding the tea house, I sat waiting, listening to podcasts. He finally arrived, extremely apologetic his meeting ran late. The owner came in shortly after with all the accouterments needed to drink tea, properly. We sat across the table from each other with the late afternoon light fading from the one window in the room. He taught me hand placement on the cup, correct sniffing and sipping protocol, and proper interpersonal gestures while enjoying tea.

As we sipped tea, we discussed his views on the relationship between Chinese Buddhist monasteries and the state, the variety of monasteries throughout Beijing and China, and the characteristics of the Chinese Buddhist community today. I learned that he is a primary organizer of the 2009 World Buddhist Forum in March in southern China, consequently, I will hopefully be able to play a role in preparation and during the actual conference, when thousands of Buddhists from all over the world will gather together.

Since the CLEA award rather inconveniently ended in mid-December as Chinese universities only began wrapping up their semester, that has really cramped the ability to hit the ground running with the research. However, with all these leads and the relationships through my professor I can build, I'm confident that when the semester starts and everything in China is back up and running post-Chinese new year in February, the research will pick-up. But for now, I'm quite enjoying my extended vacation, and after no summer vacation and 6 months straight of Chinese, I'll cut myself a break, this time.

Chinese internet as of late

2009-01-22T20:34:00.007-05:00

Recent Grievances:

Stop taking over my web browsers CCP! I'm fairly used to the removal or blocking of information on the web, but another reprehensible aspect that frequently creeps into my web browsing is the addition of propaganda, usually pertaining to reeducation about Tibet. It's slipped into many little advertisement nooks and crannies, including my Google Reader and the NYT (see examples above from a few weeks ago). As the Chinese government has realized the impact of the internet, blogs, and online opinions, they've taken increasingly robust measures to ensure that the even Al Gore's internet doesn't escape it's grips of control, at least to some degree.

Censuring Obama's inauguration speech, really, I mean, REALLY?! If you haven't caught up with that piece of news, for anyone who was watching his speech on CCTV, when Obama began this sentence: "Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions" they just cut it on out and switched over to a lady babbling on about something much less important. China has come a long way in 30 years of opening up and reform, but as for managing flows of information and powers of discrimination, it is now 2009. If the party still can't face the truism that the US's longheld values and beliefs do not include the communist manifesto, well, it's just plain ridiculous. In addition, any Chinese person watching Obama's speech would be versed on the basic differences between the US and China. Therefore, who exactly were they trying to shield this 'damming' statement from? Again, always living in the gray.

new bike!

2009-01-05T21:04:00.004-05:00

Upon my return to Beijing from Xiamen, I was excited to get back to my rusty old bike. We'd been apart over 10 days, and although it really belonged in the dump, it was still ride-able and even had a basket! But to my deep disappointment, it had vanished. After some searching around the nearby markets and stores for suitable bikes, I turned to the web. Amy and I were both in need of bikes, and we managed to find two that seemed decent enough, and thanks to the fact that we corresponded with owners of the aforementioned bikes via text in Chinese, we avoided the foreigner price hike.

The one hitch- on a map of Beijing, my bike was about north of the olympic stadium and Amy's was 1.5 hour subway trip northwest. (our apartment is the red nail, and mine is the one farther north, Amy's to the west, and note the 2 mile mark in the lower left-hand corner) Some might say no way! but we said adventureeee. We met our respective sellers at 6pm and then began the long quest homeward bound, due to meet at Heping subway station, and then loop around 3rd ring south down on past Guomao. I had a map, but will admit I was slightly confoozled at the beginning when I had to cross the 5th ring road(!) and meander through oncoming rush hour traffic (Mom, you didn't read that). Legs exhausted, we made it home 2 hours later and collapsed on the couch.

洗脑, or Chinese nationalism in schools

2008-12-31T04:38:00.004-05:00

Preparations to ring in the new year....

This is a rather frightening video from an elementary school class singing about how China will be more than just fine in '09. Chinese nationalist roots are grown early and strong, nurtured through education, and now even visible even on youtube. I don't think it's quite as fun as the song we were forced to learn and sing in unison at ACC- 大中国，but I guess this one includes all of China's most recent triumphs and that it's not just big, but the GREATEST.

Here are the lyrics of the little ditty to follow along to if you really want to (courtesy of China Digital Times):

2009, Go China!

Lead: Snowstorm, freely falling down to earth, like western values
Lead: Despair fills the sky, ice covers the earth

Lead: Did China retreat?
All: No. The Olympics were a success! We are victorious!
Lead: Hot blood and iron will of Chinese people, lighten up the dark world like burning the holy flame
All: The rivers and mountains, ever more colorful and beautiful

Lead: Earthquakes, shifting back and forth like the positions of Sarkozy, with his dirty tricks, trying to shake the great China
Lead: Did China retreat?
All: No. The Shenzhou-7 launched. We are victorious!
Lead: Pathetic Europe will never stop the insurmountable force of our great dynasty
All: Just the aftershocks from the earthquake would destroy France!

Lead: The happy flowers flourish in the oil fields on Tarim Basin
Lead: The suona [musical instrument] sings aloud in the Tawang district of the Himalayas
Lead: Historically accumulated resentment fill the Ryukyu Trench
All: Smiles in Sun Moon Lake became a miraculous flower in the Pacific Ocean

Lead: Do not waver, do not slow down, do not make big changes
Lead: Do not change the flag, Do not turn back
All: Step ruthlessly over all anti-China forces

Lead: The giant ship full of patches, raise up the brand new sail
All: Spirits are high, crash through the waves, the wind is at our back
Lead: 2009
All: Go China
Lead: 2009
All: China the Greatest

《2009，中国加油》
甲：大雪，像西方的价值观，自由的飘洒，
乙：漫天哀愁，一地冰碴 !

甲：中国退缩了吗？
全：没有！奥运成功了！我们胜利啦！
甲：炎黄坚毅的热血，如炽烈的圣火，燃烧灰暗的世界，
全：万里江山，又嵌上五彩的画夹！

甲：地震，像萨科奇的立场，用猥琐的伎俩，摇晃着巍巍中华。
甲：中国退缩了吗？
全：没有！神七飞天了！我们胜利啦！
甲：瘦瘦的欧罗巴，挡不住天朝的金戈铁马，
全：地震的余波也能把法兰西催垮！

甲：塔里木的石油盛开幸福之花，
乙：达旺的唢呐奏响在喜马拉雅。
甲：中山世土的积怨填平了琉球海沟，
全：日月潭的微笑成为太平洋的奇葩！

甲：不动摇、不懈怠、不折腾
乙：不改旗、不易帜、不回头
全：将反华者狠狠的踏在脚下

甲：打满补丁的大船，挂上崭新的桅帆
全：乘风破浪，意气风发！
甲：2009
全：中国加油
甲：2009
全：中国最大

image and impact

2008-12-30T05:28:00.005-05:00

On Christmas eve in my family's hotel in Beijing we watched the 1964 classic, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. With Yukon Cornelious mushing poodles, Bumble, the abominable snowmonster of the north encroaching on possible victims robotic-style, and narrated by Sam the Snowman who is at every minute ready to break into song, it's a fun-filled hour. As with many other children's movies, watching them now sheds light on other aspects of the movie. For example Sam the snowman tells viewers, "Welll... now there was only one thing to do... get the women back to Christmastown." What?! It's always a healthy reminder and a bit of a Christmas miracle those days are gone, and many places, from China to the studios of animation films there's hope that 重男轻女 (regarding males as superior to females) has been eradicated.

Or has it?

I'm now staying in a hotel in Xiamen, on the coast of the PRC less than 20km from the outer islands controlled by Taiwan. We came to escape the cold of Beijing, but apparently we should have told the pilot to continue on south at least a few hundred more kilometers. In any case, upon our arrival, we plopped down in one of the featured bars.

There's plenty of tacky or just plain wrong interpretations of western culture in China (such as the odd association between Christmas and Snow white and the Seven dwarfs), and that bar, I assumed was no different. The bar had an all-out golf theme. A life-sized mural plastered one of the walls, depicting western men dolled up in golfing outfits likely discussing fascinating matters such as the price of bonds and whiskey. On the flat screen TV, patrons could view the golf channel, or maybe it was just one game on repeat? There were also interactive features. Next to the tables there was a putting green, where for just 60kuai, you ccould putt a round. Or if you prefer fantasy-style, Wii golf was also an option. The place exuded a weird-wannabe macho men's club vibe, but still fell quite short of the mark. After drinking my own gin fizz, I left thinking, like Rudolph and its stop motion animation, this place and its one-sided take on the old boy's club is a little dated as a representation of the west.

But then the next night, we met an American who not only lives in Xiamen, but resides in the hotel. After living in Xiamen for three years, he knows the ins and outs of the limited expat scene. As for his Chinese abilities, he can say 不好，美屁股... anddd that's about it. His wife and 21-year-old son live in LA, and he visits them two or three times each year. He plays golf with the good old boys a couple times each week, and described it as guys who like to drink and play a little golf. At one point, Kate asked him, "what about the wives?" "Ohhh, yeahhh. Well, now, I kind of disagree with this.." Mhhmm, yes when you have three women staring at you, sure you do, BUD. The women, he told us, petitioned to be included, but were denied. Our Corona-guzzling friend proudly told us his own plan, "now why don't they let 'em form their own group. Then they can all play together, and if they wanna play with their husbands during the week, then they could get the discount also."

Now the discount, is to play a round of golf at 400kuai instead of 600kuai.

CHOKE. I forget the exact statistics, but a monthly average salary in the cities comes to around 2,000 kuai. I was rather disturbed to realize that the caricatures on the wall of the golf-themed bar we had earlier visited, aren't too far from the truth right here in Xiamen. The unfortunate part is, there's many of him to go around. Expats in business have been entrenched in China for years, or decades. Yet, I really find it rather disconcerting that one could live in a place for years, and never attempt to live in it. Sure he's befriended all the beautiful girls in the place, but has to rely on their English to get by.

We've taken many taxis and met many people in Beijing and Xiamen throughout the past two weeks, and in most cases, as my family noticed, I make conversations with the driver of a taxi or whoever is around. Depending on a taxi driver's friendliness and patience, and our chemistry, it can sometimes get very lively. Although it does help my Chinese to talk to everyone and anyone as they also guessed, I also at least like to think it partially helps to counteract the 外国人 image of some of those imbecile expats. Life in any community is always about give and take, and living abroad is no different. Therefore, in order to meaningfully and personally contribute while living somewhere long-term, basic communication skills, cultural sensitivity, awareness, and curiosity are a necessity.

motorola monks

2008-12-30T04:21:00.003-05:00

Motorola makes some last ditch advertising efforts. I don't really get it though...

Advertising Agency): O&M Beijing, China
Creative Director: Wilson Nils
Art director: Rain Yu
Copywriter: Chen Ning
Photographer: Zhou Yu Long
Published: November 2008
http://adsoftheworld.com/media/print/motorola_gps_monks

byebye nyt (for a few days)

2008-12-20T11:56:00.003-05:00

In a strange turn of events, the frustratingly unpredictable firewall of the Middle Kingdom has blocked my most frequently visited site (之一), the New York Times. Logging into the blogosphere, it seems it's the current situation all over the mainland. But this time, it's seriously without rhyme or reason. Usually a damming article criticizing particular policies of the ccp or events would directly link to the snap. But in this case, the NYT, apart from reporting on the obvious struggles of the Chinese economy in the midst of the grand CCP celebration of '30 years after opening and reform,' hasn't reported on anything to warrant total disconnection.

It's amusing at least that just a few days ago, the nyt did report that China would probably start to re-block some sites that had been opened up for the Olympics. Little did they know, it would include them as well.

Luckily, there are loopholes in the system. And since 99.9% of the 1.3+ billion Chinese people don't get their news from English, foreign press, most of us Americans living here can use these loops to hop on over the wall. But still, it would be nice if sometimes there was an explanation, or some kind of guideline, or some method to the madness.

update: 12/22, nyt has been restored! for the moment, this too has passed, though it will likely not be the last of the firewall disturbances.

dvd storage

2008-12-14T21:24:00.002-05:00

While in China, I've seen jiade fake dvds sold out of registered, proper storefronts, shopping complexes, grocery stores, open markets, suitcases propped up on the side of the road, stuffed into jacket pockets, and even pants.

But here's a new one.

From 大望路 subway walking south, there's an underpass I often bike or walk through. A few days ago, Anthony and I are walking, walking, walking. It's cold, bitter cold. There's few people walking this way, and motors bikes whizz pass along the narrow bike lane. The only woman walking in front of us, about 5 meters ahead, suddenly pauses at a tree (or sad sappling that was likely planted right before the olympics) and starts to dig in the bare dirt. Just as we're walking past, she pulls out a dvd from the ground. Without any hesitation, she's up again, the dirt disturbed from the retrieval of her treasure, and she continues walking. Oh, Beijing.

Life in a Chinese Starbucks

2008-12-14T04:19:00.004-05:00

In your average American city and town, especially those I’m most familiar with on the eastern seaboard, cafes and coffeehouses are a dime a dozen, and each has a unique atmosphere. Some are filled with worn in leather coaches and tables with initials carved into the sides, loyal customers pick up their coffee at the same time each day, and windows are taped with advertisements for local bands, book clubs, or poetry slams on the weekends. Coffee shops are relaxed, comforting places. Starbucks on the other hand, is the corporate heavyweight. You go into a Starbucks, and you know what to expect. Save for a little diversity in layout and choice of fake fireplace or no fake fireplace, everything from the furniture right down to the smell is standardized. Some might consider this dull, but here, that kind of consistency and the predictability, especially when we’re talking about coffee, is actually kind of a godsend.

The price is nonnegotiable and the same for Chinese and foreigner, always clean, no spitting allowed, no smoking allowed, and best of all, no snot-rocketing allowed (ahh the joys of winter in Beijing). In a country where good coffee is about as hard to come by as clean air, Starbucks, 星巴克, is truly a glorified escape. Wireless, lattes, comfortable chairs, Christmas music on repeat, and muffins, all much cheaper than a flight to New York. People-watching is also a preferred activity. For once, not everyone stares at the white person, and I can instead stare at the Chinese. It’s great. Child-parent interactions, friends, colleagues, drunk colleagues, couples, etc. I get a close look into Chinese culture and interaction, quite literally. For whatever reason, one of the Starbucks is also a choice location for breakups. I’m often mumbling to myself in Chinese or scribbling characters sideways when I hear the telltale sniffle a few chairs down. It’s never a loud affair, but is predictably a Chinese couple in their mid-20s. One is always unable to look at the other, and after prolonged silences, and some mumbled putonghua, the man sighs, helps the woman put her jacket on, and they slink out.

But my evaluation of Chinese Starbucks is not all one-sided. Number one: China Starbucks, where the hell are your seasonal peppermint mochas? The cranberry-colored snowflakey cups are nice, but they’d be a whole lot nicer filled with the real taste of Christmas- peppermint mocha. Why only the Toffee-Nut Latte and the Dark Cherry? I guess I’ll add it to my list for Santa. My other primary menu suggestion: remove the white toast, just do it. It was a good effort, but toasted Chinese wonderbread left out all day doesn’t increase my confidence in the other selection of baked goods. My other recommendation for the Beijing Starbucks branches: create a language corner, because it’s getting out of control. Or if you really want to make a big buck, even try opening a Starbucks language school, as it’s more or less already a reality. There are people learning English, people learning Chinese, and people practicing tones over, and over, and over again.

In despite of its shortcomings, it’s still an ideal locale to churn out work and catch up on daily news from across the world, all while sipping a delightful caffeinated brew. And for all the laowai and the increasing numbers of Chinese who flock to xingbake, the continuous expansion of Starbucks across Beijing and China makes life here that much easier. However, with my new apartment, private access to coffee, wifi, and oh-so comfortable couch, perhaps I can start spending my kuai on more useful things, like dark chocolate and cheese.

moving and shaking and registering

2008-12-11T06:44:00.004-05:00

End of ACC
At about 12pm on Friday afternoon, ACC’s head teacher knocked on our door for the first time all semester. Suspicious. Zhang Laoshi(Teaher) is half hilarious/half frightening, she’s got a sense of humor I truly appreciate in a country otherwise devoid of sarcasm, and the tenacity of a powerful woman you wouldn’t dare intentionally cross. I feel if given more time, she would definitely become my China version of SG’s Ms. Foppert, for those who get that analogy, she's pretty unique. While the question word 吗 might follow a sentence she directs towards a student, it’s most frequently an imperative. You don’t question Zhang, because Zhang knows best. Therefore, when she asked me to give the 代表 represent third year speech, I knew I should have gone for a long lunch and vacated the premises. But nope, no way out. I had three hours to prepare a 5-7 minute speech in Chinese to give to over 100 people.

Luckily I had my energy burst because the end of ACC was near, so I was able to throw together a whimsical 报告. Although I was really nervous before and during the presentation, perhaps obviously so, I was able to pull it off and among other commentary, made some important points to the whole school: A) Anthony and I are not dating, B) I’m still here for another year, so please bring your stuff to 1011, and C) everyone should go to the bar Tun tonight to create your last happy China memory! What a success, even Zhang Laoshi now had it straight, so to speak, I got a free bike and other stuff, and over half of the students and teachers showed up on Friday for an amazing last night all together.

My first (Chinese) apartment
Last weekend was full of frenzied moving from tiny dorm to glorious apartment. This includes my stuff from the US, my stuff accumulated in China, kitchenware gifted to me, and random stuff left behind from other students that could, at some point, possibly, be of use. I made my final journey back to my apartment Monday morning by bike. I just had a backpack while Anthony took a cab with my fish, Tiantian. And somewhat unexpectedly, the ratty old, rusty bike that a girl gave me beat the cab by a long shot.

I live in an apartment complex populated with Chinese people, young professionals, and plenty of young professional foreigners. I’m a 20-minute walk to the subway, just 10min by rusty bike. My apartment is beautiful. It leaves no usual trace of cheap Chinese cigarette smoke, poor maintenance, or tacky decorations. No one has ever lived in the apartment, all the appliances are sleek and energy-efficient, and the owners have some relative degree of taste. I have an oven. I have a flat screen television. I have a window seat in my room. I have a desk worthy of penning a great American novel on. And soon, perhaps I’ll also have a dog. Perhaps. From my window on the 11th floor, I overlook the central business district (CBD), making for an impressive skyline by night. (Are you buying a plane ticket yet?!) This morning was also Beijing’s first snow of the year, I woke up to gently falling flurries, which helped to soften the dull grey pollution/brown cloud over the jing.

Bureaucracy
However, I haven’t had much time yet to seep up my new surroundings. I’ve spent the past few days out in Beijing, running to and fro, trying to leap through one bureaucratic ring after another. Residency registration, rent deposit and payment, tuition fee for one year, reapplication of visa, and all its accompanying paperwork. The 3,000 kuai daily withdrawal limit from the bank really hasn’t helped things move along any faster either. With any luck, tomorrow will be the end of it for a little while.

More Endings
ACC officially ended 6 days ago now. However, last Friday was only the beginning of the endings. This week I’ve said goodbye to Lans, who after living in Beijing for 14 months, called it quits. Tomorrow he will land home to summertime (and the living is easy!) in New Zealand. I can’t say I blame, but he will be missed. Anthony also leaves at the end of this week. That one, I’m still in denial about.

Anthony and I before climbing Huangshan, in the rain

transitions

2008-12-04T21:11:00.004-05:00

You may note the change in the name of my blog. I realized there's no more 'getting' to be got, and I can now joyfully say, my life from here on out until october 09 will already be dharmatastic.. and more. Today I've graduated to the next step of my China life, and finally become a Fulbrighter. I'm hopefully prepared and sinified enough to leave the cozy little, protected nest of ACC in Chaoyang and break out into the big world. Well, I mean somewhat. I'll still be based Chaoyang, but cast a much wider net, that will hopefully encompass adventures in unexplored parts of the city, meetings with Buddhist practitioners and scholars, and stays in monasteries out in the hinterlands from north to south.

Although I've been here for three months, my transition to Fulbright life in Beijing is still filled with promise and excitement for what's to come, what's to be observed, questioned, and hopefully learned. Perhaps it's just self-preservation that I haven't really considered the fact I still won't be stateside for 10 months. My roommate will be home in 36 hours and is bouncing off the walls, but I think I'm just as excited as my classmates to start Fulbright right here in Beijing as they are to return home. And I'm quite sure all of them have more than just a tinge of jealousy that I now have the opportunity to live out the life we've dreamed of for the past 3 months, to live Beijing without the intensity of ACC!

out to dinner with ACC friends and 王师傅,
donkey sandwiches and fried grasshopers for appetizers mm mm

I must admit, my greatest sentiment at the moment is one of relief-- that my 6 months of intensive of Chinese have finally come to an end. Even so, learning Chinese is a loooong road, and I'm still far from fluency or anything even nearing that. However, I do at least have the confidence and ability to live here and carry out my research, and desire to keep studying Chinese informally and probably formally while I'm here.

Life continues to be a whirlind full of bizzare experiences, which I'll now have time to post about! Today I close one chapter, and open another. And if you have any suggestions for what I should do after October 9, 2009, please let me know, I'm all ears.

Chinese language mess-up

2008-11-27T02:26:00.004-05:00

Chinese language is tonal, therefore, I'm surprised I haven't had issue arise earlier in my Chinese language study. This past week though, I had my first rather hilarious mess-up. My Chinese friend was asking me what work I had for the week. I responded, ohhh you know, not too much, pretty standard, except we have a 25 minute presentation, so that will be annoying.

We were leaning against the front desk of my gym's entrance, and luckily, the other front desk attendants were a bit away not listening to us. His eyes bulged a little bit, he cocked his head, and asked me to repeat what I had just said. So I did, the same exact way. And then he leaned in and said WHAT! poopy? Ohhhhh, righttttt. Da bian, da bian, 2nd tone, 4th tone v. 4th tone, 4th tone, a world of difference between a presentation and a feces. A mistake I will surely remember to avoid in the future!

gone till november

2008-11-19T03:33:00.007-05:00

Time always has a funny way of speeding up and slowing down. I'm shocked we're half way through November, and already bounding towards turkeys, decked halls, jingling bells, and most importantly, family visiting!

For a quick recap of the past three weeks (I promise, I've been busy!): I've dressed up as a panda for Halloween, sang along at the top of my lungs to Kanye West live, sat in a cement truck on construction duty, attended a Buddhist sutra discussion session, witnessed a fascinating exchange between a tiny nun from southern China and one of the most authentic Beijingerrr taxi drivers around, learned via text message in a train station that Barack Obama is our president-elect, taken a 20-hour train ride, hiked up one of China's most beautiful mountains through relentless cloudcover and constant downpour (still doesn't quite grasp it), eaten (very) stinky tofu, had visitors, seen Beijing opera, explored more of Beijing, gone to the Great Wall again, and also studied a couple hundred new Chinese characters.

as a panda with some Chinese friends

Huang Shan; a fatty carried up the giant mountain through the rain

my first official news viewing post-election, CCTV-style

I'm now snuggled back into my Beijing dorm room, the heat is gurgling through the pipes, and in some ways the US seems farther away than it has in a long time. Like my other friends my age who are abroad right now, quite a few actually, I was definitely a little sad to not be on American soil during this historical time. I cast my absentee ballot and was assured of its safe delivery through FedEx’s free mailing of ballots abroad. Even from Beijing, it’s obvious this election has injected vigor back into the political process that most Americans usually express casual apathy towards. I’m excited for the hope Obama brings, the possibility that the brain is back in vogue, I’m excited to learn what kind of dog the Obamas choose (as long as it’s not some doodle-dog, I’ll be fine), and perhaps for the first time while abroad in the past 8 years (almost 2 of which I’ve spent abroad), I’m proud to be an American.

I was in a train station in Beijing when Florida was predicted, and woke up on the train in a dazed-Nyquill state for about 25 seconds to hear in Chinese from my classmates that the Obama win was official. Then I fell asleep again. The first news I saw on the election results was on the top of the mountain Huang Shan, in our hotel at about 1,600m up. This was all still a little surreal, and the only real celebration we could muster up was a trip to the McDonald’s in the train station to buy some ‘freedom fries.’ But now of course, two weeks later, I’ve gobbled up plenty of news and free podcasts since my return to Beijing, and engaged in conversations about his presidency with other Americans, Fulbrighters, and Chinese. The tides are turning, and it's a good time to be an American abroad. I won't be holding my breath, but 1.20.09 is just around the corner.

first trip to the great wall

2008-10-29T04:13:00.006-04:00

For Great Wall photos, go here.

Last Saturday, I met my second wonder of the world. We bused out to the Simatai section of the Great Wall, one of the farther areas from Beijing, and therefore one of the less visited sections. The wall finally came into view, and it really was stunning. I stumbled off the bus (late night Friday), but managed to gain my composure.

The Simatai section of the wall has been partially restored but is still rather unfriendly to those afraid of heights, those with vertigo, and those especially afraid of heights or prone to vertigo in high winds. Thanks to skydiving, I wiped those right out.We tramped up to the wall, and then on the wall, one uneven stair after another. Half the stairs were seriously made for small rodents, I could fit maybe half a foot on each one, so I had to perform a little sidestepping dance up and down. Other sections were only fit for gallivanting beasts with bulging hindquarters, even us beefy Americans were struggling up and up.

It was a fabulous, beautiful, perfectly clear day and for the first time since I've been in China, I looked out onto scenery that was mostly natural, barren, and unkempt. It was a liberating sensation. Hues of yellow and red hugged one side of the wall, and although the breeze was brisk and at times a little too aggressive (especially when there's nothing between you, wall and cliff), it was a blast of welcome, fresh autumnal air. All I could think was hot apple cider, hot apple cider, donut, donut! But you know, I guess the Great Wall is good enough for one day.

On the way down, we took the opportunity to bypass the boring last part where you get mauled by people to buy maps and trinkets, and instead fly right on by! Quite literally. For only 40 kuai (6 dollars) we flew from right under the Great Wall over a lake, a dam, and a river, catching views from the air of the wall to the left and the right. I highly recommend it.

Next up, Halloween and Kanye, Chinese style. Halloween here involves stunt bikes, bellydancing, giant pumpkins, and overall odd takes on the American holiday. Kanye, well madness.

heaven

2008-10-26T10:53:00.009-04:00

Friday afternoon I finally made it to Tiantan—Temple of Heaven. Anthony and I decided to bring our friend Wang Fei along since it had been awhile since the three of us had gotten together. He is a notoriously tardy individual, and as per usual, Anthony and I rambled around our neighborhood for about an hour before giving up on him. We decided to leave, but as we were on our way to the subway he appeared huffing and puffing in his dramatic fashion. We gave him a brief lesson, or rather a review, on the importance of truthfulness and punctuality (you can NOT text us you’re 10 minutes away when you know quite well you’re half across Beijing!) We anointed him with a new name, Lang Fei （浪费) waste (usually of time, money, life etc.), give him a pat on the back, and continued on our way to Tiantan.

Since we waited so long for Wang/Lang Fei, we didn’t arrive at Tiantan until the sun was already setting. We hesitated to pay the additional 20 kuai to enter the Hall of Prayer for Good Harvests on top of the park entrance fee of 8 kuai (it’s nice when $3 seems like a steep entrance fee) because it was so late, but we finally decided it was silly to come and not see the best part. The original hall was built in the early 1400s as the imperial sacrificial altar, and during the Ming and Qing dynasties, the emperors frequented Tiantan to convene with Heaven to ensure prosperous harvests for the year to come, hence the name. In short, Tiantan acted as the most direct connection between Imperial China (Earth) and Heaven.

Although it was late in the day when we arrived, and became progressively darker and colder, as the stars started to come out (shocker!), we had the place almost completely to ourselves. Tiantan is one of Beijing’s bests, and is usually packed with thousands of tourists daily. So on the crystal clear fall evening, I was pretty sure we had indeed arrived at the pearly gates.

Wang/Lang Fei was a bit sulky when we first arrived (most Chinese youths prefer shopping over looking at historic sites, it was his first visit to Tiantan), he scoffed at Tiantan because ‘it’s just so putong (ordinary), Beijing has tons of these!’ You mean the original inspiration for centuries of Asian cosmogonic architecture? Umm, not really. But then after we went into the Temple’s main area, he perked up, leading us from area to area, even skipping to and fro! When we asked about his sudden change of heart, he said I’m just happy because you guys are happy! I think deep down he actually liked it and maybe, just maybe felt a little pride that this history was his history, and he was hosting us (kind of) and helping us understand the Tiantan’s history (I mean… from the museum’s signs in Chinese, but still). Whatever the reason, his excitement and the perfect sunset and nightfall made for a memorable first visit to the Temple of Heaven.

For more Tiantan pictures, go here.

Next up, a recap of my great experience at the Great Wall on Saturday, you can view my Great Wall photos here.

my future apartment!

2008-10-17T02:07:00.010-04:00

In domestic (life) news, I've secured an apartment for the rest of my time in China! The day before I left for Xi'an, I was scrolling through real estate ads online (it must run in the family) and came across one that sounded great, and like it would go fast. After a conversation with my future roommate, Amy, another Fulbrighter, I called up the owner the next day. It turned out she was heading over to the apt to check up on her current tenants and bring them a couch.

I met up with her near where I now live, and due to lack of other options, we sat on the couch wedged into the back of the van on our way across Beijing. It was just a tad bumpy, due to the car not the roads (because all of Beijing is super- 现代化! modern! or at least that's what I'm getting brainwashed to think) and conversations went more like whhHHhere diId yYouU LiivE in Nneww YorrKK.. But I did learn quite a lot, ie, she went to school at Dartmouth, had a slew of other rather prestigious academic opportunities, and most recently worked in finance but now wants to open an e-commerce business. As a Beijingren with fluency in English, a young, independent, cute, tiny woman, I felt quite comfortable trusting her as a potential landlord.

view from the apt. on the 18th floor, overlooking a giant market

The apartment is great, and after confirming with Amy and discussing the finer points of what we're looking for in an apartment, decided to seal the deal. I signed a lease this week, and we will move in in December. It seems almost too easy to be true-- we didn't have the hassle I dreaded, no agent fees, and she will help us swim through the layers of bureaucratic babble the Chinese govt. imposes on everyone, and especially to foreigners living in Beijing. She even has a good friend from childhood who left her business to found a magazine on contemporary Buddhism, what!! So from all angles, it's a great fit.

The apartment is located in Xuanwu, which is in the west-southwest part of Beijing. Though it is not near Sanlitun, the expat haven, I'm excited to live in a distinctly Chinese neighborhood (and still have the facilities of a modern apt of course!). While it's a bit far from subway lines, we've already decided we'll get vespas if deemed necessary when we move in to facilitate buying imported necessities and groceries, and also perhaps get a tiny dog to ride on back, it would only be fitting right?

And I will have a kitchen and most importantly, an oven. I can already smell the muffins baking in the morning, ahh. Check out some pictures of the apartment here.